(S20E04) No, no, no. Coach, you have it all wrong! It's not a conspiracy against you, trust me. It's you. I made a mistake last week when I commented how much less a wuss Coach was being this season on 'Survivor.' I spoke too soon. Tonight we (and Boston Rob and Tyson) had to witness his latest "I'm sensitive, the world is against me, woe is me" escapade. The man makes a mockery of himself, then goes all emotional when he gets mocked. He's a legend in his own mind, a special snowflake to the rest of us.

(S19E07) Even though we're down a Russell this week on Survivor, I'll continue to refer to the remaining Russell as "Evil Russell." It just somehow fits even without a confusion of Russells. However, there is just one Shambo. Although she's a good worker in camp and works hard on the challenges, that might be a good thing. One Shambo is quite enough. Perhaps she's just too nice to be on the show. Perhaps she is a bit dim. I just don't know.

(S18E11) Yes, it's the Tribal Council snake from Survivor. You see, Sue Hawk (season one) called it. Remember her epic speech to Richard Hatch and Kelly Wiglesworth? "There are two things on this island, snakes and rats." I'm looking at the group we have left this season. I'm thinking there are more fuzzy mice than snakes and rats. I think there's a vulture or two in there, too. But this is one season I'm not rooting for the snake to eat the rat.

(S18E10) As tonight's episode of Survivor started, I prayed to the gods that it wouldn't be Coach-centric. Alas, there was plenty of Coach spouting his wisdom, his Warrior Alliance theories, and his general Coach-isms. After all, he is the Dragon Slayer, y'know. I so wish this Little Lord Fauntleroy Willie Nelson oddly-attired man would vanish from my television set. Maybe tonight?

(S18E09) No, the biggest fraud isn't JT. I think we all know the biggest fraud on Survivor this season. He's the castaway we'd probably vote "Most Annoying." If we examine recent current events, we can see that many fraudsters are getting their just desserts. Will we be lucky enough to get Coach gone from our TV screens?

(S18E08) I don't know. Is it just me or is this sexy librarian in a bikini look on Erinn from Survivor just a bit unsettling? There seems to be an evil gleam in her eyes, too. Maybe she's considering some Donner Party action and Coach will be her target? Sigh. Nah, it would never happen. Mr. Lord "Willie Nelson" Fauntleroy is just too darn skinny.

The promos promised us a merge tonight. This could get interesting with secret cross-tribe alliances. Will the Exile Island Allies take over the game? Or will the numbers in Timbira squash the weaker Jalapao tribe one by one? Read on.

(S18E07) Phew! March Madness is over and we had a fresh episode of Survivor on its regularly scheduled night! Although the episode title mentions Coach, I didn't want to use him in the image above. I've decided he's not Little Lord Fauntleroy -- he's Willie Nelson's odd spawn. You know ... the one they don't mention in public.

Joe (above) played a rather pivotal role in tonight's episode. he showed he's thinking ahead and he could have just flipped the whole game. Or maybe he just tried to flip the game not realizing he was flipping at all. Have I confused you yet? Read on!

(S18E04) For eye candy this season on Survivor, we have Sydney representing the gals. But she's quick to say that she's not only pretty, she's sneaky. Can she be sneaky enough? Of course, if Timbira continues its losing streak, it won't really matter. Well, not yet anyway. Unfortunately for me, the male eye candy this season seems to be more along the lines of outdated cheap chocolates. I'm talking a skinny Tyson prancing about in a loincloth and whatever's going on with Coach's high ponytail-mullet mix. Sure, there are more attractive men there. But do they get the air time these two do? Nope! Spoilers ahead.

(S18E03) Yep, yep ... that's maize in the maze on Survivor. It looks like it's totally missing the bucket, doesn't it? Well, maybe, just maybe they weren't supposed to get it in the bucket. Perhaps it's something new and totally different. It could be they're filling their tops and holding a bucket just to make things a bit more challenging. Did you ever think of that? Or, it could be that I don't want to put any real spoilers before the jump.

(S18E02) Why do I get the idea that Jeff Probst thinks the ultimate Survivor show includes a blindside ouster of a castaway? Now, I like a good blindside as much as any show fan, but that's not what the show is all about to me. For me, the element of surprise is definitely a plus. However, it's as much about the scheming, the interaction between castaways, the challenges, and even whether I like the casting or not. Jeff was a happy camper because there was a blindside last week. I was a so-so camper about other issues. What about tonight?

(S18E01) Yep, we're into the 18th season of Survivor. Why, it seems like it was only yesterday that Richard Hatch was wandering about Borneo naked. Now, don't get me wrong -- I'm a big fan of the show. But what can they show us that's new and fresh after so many seasons, so many strategies? You see, I want to be entertained. I want fresh castaways, fresh locales, fresh challenges ... and even fresh monkeys! After all, no season of the show is complete without a monkey. If I had my way, every reality show would have a monkey.

(S17E12) Tonight was product placement night on Survivor. Er, I mean it was the episode in which the castaways are reunited with their loved ones. Or maybe it's a tie between the two. Back when they used to give a car away, it was major product placement. At least this time it was just a phone, although hyped by manufacturer's name as well as the phone network. I always wonder how much more it costs the advertiser compared to having a commercial slot on the show. The car winner faced the Curse of the Car Winner and never once did the car winner win the season. How about the video calls? Is there a jinx? Read on!

(S17E10) "This is going to be the funkiest night of your life. Wait for it. Wait for it." - Sugar

All in all, I found tonight's Survivor episode one of the most satisfying ones to date. And, that's talking a lot of episodes since I'm talking starting from the first season. Since I watch and write about so many reality television shows, I usually try to step back a bit and not get really involved in whom I want for the win or the folks I emphatically want booted sooner rather than later. That way I'm neither disappointed, nor do I personally jinx things. But I couldn't have planned tonight's episode any better than it went down. Read on!

(S17E09) Nope, this Survivor episode's title isn't about Kenny. He's been the mastermind behind the last two blindsides -- Marcus and Ace. If anyone is the brains behind everything, it should be him. He definitely couldn't be the brawn behind everything, but brawn isn't always the key to getting to the final four of this show. So, to whom does the title refer? It's someone who's far from a mastermind in the game, but it's key to the episode. Read on.

(S17E08) "Susie's in the middle spinning around in circles playing dizzy bat." - Marcus

Well, my man Marcus just might have a point there about Susie on Survivor. I can usually figure out the castaways, but I'm having a bit of difficulty when it comes to the words which come out of her mouth. She already has Corinne freaking out about her due to telling her she was going to vote her out. Now, it's one thing to scheme and plan, but you don't tell the target about the scheming and planning! Susie could be just a hard working at camp but challenge lump and float along nicely. Nope, she has to talk. Read on past the jump for my review of tonight's show.