But these are all known facts. Ever since Ronald Reagan declared ketchup as a vegetable, the cat's kind of been out of the bag on the whole "America is fat" tip. So when I saw the ad for the Snuggie, my reaction was simply, "meh." Actually, that's a lie. My reaction was, "Dude. That's awesome. Blankets 24/7!" But after I sobered up, it went back to, "meh."
Picture it: An ad airs on television with a nice, middle-class woman grocery shopping with her young daughter. The woman's arm is in a sling, and a concerned older lady asks her what happened. "Oh, rollerblading," the woman replies. The butcher inquires if it was a skiing accident. "Um, mountain biking," is the quick and uncomfortable correction. The kid stocking the shelves asks the same question and gets yet another answer.
The woman continues to shop, and bumps her cart into another woman's. This woman, too, has a sling on her arm. They look at each other. They have a moment of realization. They are abused wives, going about their daily business and being forced to lie about how they sustained their injuries, and now they are being confronted with their own deception and excuses. It's a haunting public service announcement about domestic violence -- except it totally isn't.
Because it's an ad for EFFING BATHROOM CLEANER.
Part of it is completely selfish. Someone's passing always reminds me of the frailty of human life and lets me know I'm always one less beer away from reaching the end of my time.
The other part is the projection of my own pain. We've all lost someone close to us and know what that pain feels like when our brain is scrambling to catch up with the reality of that loss. There is someone out there who has to deal with that same pain, whether the person who died was worthy of Catholic sainthood or the Bastard of the Year Award.
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It's really great to watch TV all day and night for a living. But then again, it's not that great to watch TV all day and night, because there's a lot of crap you have to put up with to get to the good stuff. Take commercials. Now, I actually like commercials, the good ones, but there are so many bad ones that...ugh. Here are five new-ish ones that have been driving me batty.
1. That Honda commercial with Danica Patrick: She's on her way to meet someone and is running late, so she drives fast and is pulled over by a state trooper. She says to herself "it's showtime" and decides to undo her shirt a little and make sure her makeup is OK, to show the cop her breasts and flirt so she won't get a ticket. Congratulations, Danica. All the progress you made by being a female race car driver was just set back five years. A true role model for all the little girls out there.
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