academy awards host

Allison told you yesterday that Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin will host the Oscars in 2010. But you probably guessed that others were considered too, right? Three of the people below turned down the gig. Can you guess who they were?

• Tina Fey
• Robert Downey, Jr.
• Will Ferrell
• Whoopi Goldberg
• Jay Leno
• Ben Stiller
• Sean Combs
• Kristin Chenoweth
• Jerry Seinfeld
• me

Jon started with some good ol' presidential humor by covering Bush's visit to Asia. The president went there to sign a nuclear cooperation (or as Bush would say it, "a nuke-ular kwap'ration") with India. America will help India build nuclear reactors if they promise to stop their children from crushing us in spelling bees. Bush also learned about Indian culture, seeing cloth made the old-fashioned way on looms, visiting farms, and facing one hell of a huge potato. "Compared to India, our potatoes are literally small potatoes!"

Tom DeLay stepped down as the House Majority Leader so the Republicans had to find a replacemant for the Notorious TOM. But, hey, guess what? When the votes were counted, they found more ballots submitted than actual Republican voters! It's very funny in sad, sad way. Have you lost faith in humanity yet? By the way, the winner ended up being a fellow named Robert Boehner (it's pronounced "banner" but everyone knows it's really "boner").