american gladiator

If you are counting the seconds until the new big screen remake of American Gladiators hits a theater near you, please seek immediate medical attention or the nearest clergyman for guidance.

Screenwriter Peter Iliff has developed a script for the project. The TV tough guys and gals will be turned into "superheroes" in the new movie.

That's it? Isn't that obvious? What the hell else were they going to be?

- A bunch of muscleheaded meatwads pretending to be British nannies in order to see their estranged children.

- Sinewy wimp-eaters who must constantly pull a bus with their teeth at a speed of at least 30 mph or it will explode.

Or perhaps the storyline could go something like this: A ruthless mob boss looking to bump off a key witness traveling overseas plants twelve Gladiators injected with anger inducing pheromones on his plane and unleashes them over the ocean.

Feel free to share your own ideas for this movie in the comments below.

This is my third Festivus at TV Squad and, in past years, just a few of my wishes have come true. For instance: a Kate and Sawyer hook-up on Lost, another season of My Name is Earl, and a little faith in Scrubs from NBC. All those came true after my first Festivus, last year's wish list wasn't really granted. And, CBS has yet to kill off a main character on CSI. Sara almost died, but didn't. Drat!

This year, all I really want for Festivus is for the writers to get a fair shake and for my favorite shows to return to television. But, since that's kind-of a downer, I made a list that's a little more fun.