Now that's how you do a results show!

Stevie Wonder! Hulk Hogan! A shocking elimination followed by a dramatic save! Kudos, Nigel and company. Poor Sugarland, will anyone remember their performance after all those theatrics?

Not to toot horns of any kind, but I've been saying for a while that Casey Abrams' shtick, if you will, would get old eventually. But I wasn't expecting his shelf life to be quite this short. Maybe it's just a testament to the influence of the performance order or maybe, as J.Lo and Randy said as Casey continued to reel from disbelief, it's time to stop the "antics" and "growling" and really shine.

I'm scared. Seriously.

After Austin's paltry offerings you might think Los Angeles, the showbiz capital of the world, would have more to offer than a man of questionable mental capacity in a feathered hat and wearing a costume adorned with bells, dancing to his own bizarre rendition of a James Brown tune.

Maybe we've come to expect too much of America's number one TV talent show.

'American Idol's' third visit to the Texas capital in 10 seasons was full of surprises, shenanigans and second chances.

The hour started with a much hyped apology (via Ryan Seacrest's Twitter account) from Steven Tyler that amounted to little more than a lame joke. Yes, we know Steven has a potty mouth and a well-earned reputation for rather uncouth antics, but after all the debate over the portrayal of Milwaukee contestant Chris Medina's brain-damaged fiancee, many thought the mea culpa might have something to do with that. Instead, we got to watch Steven mouth the F-bomb. Oh, 'Idol,' after 10 years, you still don't realize that humor is not your strong suit.

(S07E01)
Simon: "Did you honestly think, Udi, and I'm gonna ask you this question seriously, that you had any chance of getting through and winning?"
Udi: "Yes I did."
Simon: "Then you're nuts."

What strike? An American Idol two-night four-hour extravaganza with no real competitive programming on opposite it? Sounds pretty status quo, though I'm sure FOX doesn't mind the almost complete lack of original scripted programming on the dial. My obsession with the Idol started because my wife wanted to see all those terrible singers the FOX hype machine paraded on our TV screens before the first season. It's had me ever since. Kelly, Ruben, Fantasia, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin and ... Let's roll up our sleeves and get this thing started so we can find out!

I've got my tub of cream cheese and cheesesteak sandwich next to me so I can get in the right mindset. Philadelphia here we come. And, per the picture to the right (Ben Haar, 24), let the circus sideshow begin. Oh, and thanks Ben for ruining the Princess Leia slave outfit for an entire generation. Bastard! Where's Ryan to bring some semblance of sanity to this freakshow?

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(S06E40) In honor of the American Idol two-part season finale, there's going to be a live chat during the show so you can post your thoughts and comments immediately.

Will Blake beatbox his way to glory? Or will Jordin sparkle her way to the top?

Click here to join the chat.

A full recap will be IS NOW posted after the jump later tonight.

(S06E38) Ryan tells us that the theme of tonight's American Idol is "Three." There are three finalists singing three songs each. The three contestants have three phone numbers assigned to them. And of course, there are three Idol judges.

Can you believe that tomorrow one of these three finalists will be leaving American Idol? If nothing else, each of them gave stellar performances tonight proving they deserved to be in the final three. Unfortunately, someone has to go home tomorrow. And I'm not sure who that person will be.

But based on tonight's performances, I have to think that Melinda Doolittle deserves to be safe.

(S06E35) Touchy, touchy, touchy. If I learned anything from the comments on yesterday's reviewcap, it's not to mess with the readers and their Jon Bon Jovi. Holy goodness, you guys absolutely obliterated me in the comments. The strange thing is, I kind of liked it.

Fortunately, I only received one death threat, so I'm happy to be coming out of this relatively unscathed. Deep down you know you were really laughing with me, you just didn't want to admit it. What's that you say? You weren't amused? Ok, then let's just start the recap.

(S06E34) Was anyone really surprised that no one got sent home during "Idol Gives Back"? It was a charity event. Someone having their dream destroyed just wouldn't have fit in with the show.

The fact that no one left had a profound effect on this episode as Ryan was quick to point out since two people would be going home this week.