anna nicole smith

• Dancing with the Stars, the fitness book, is coming soon.
  
• The inevitable Victoria and David Beckham reality show rumors have begun. And can someone tell me how why Posh is "hilarious"?
  
• How annoying: Larry Sedlin, the whacko judge in the Anna Nicole Smith burial hearing, was reportedly offered a TV gig.
  

Wow, here's something that was COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED.

Judge Larry Seidlin, who presided over the Anna Nicole hearing/circus last week, might get a regular spot on CBS' Saturday Early Show. One of the show's producers, Michael Rosen, sent Judge Seidlin a letter the other day (obtained by The Sun-Sentinel), saying that they want to hire him for a new segment on the show:

"I have been extremely impressed by your compassion in the Anna Nicole case and I would love to discuss with you the idea of being our judge on a new segment, `Morning Justice.' It would be a semi-regular segment in which you would resolve the ethical and legal questions of our viewers who send in the issues troubling them."

Well, that's not entirely true. This post by NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams is more about Fat Tuesday and New Orleans, but those two phrases just didn't fit into the whole letter "B" thing I had going.

But he does mention Britney Spears and the court hearings about Anna Nicole Smith's body and her baby:

"Viewer warning: there will be no mention of Britney Spears' baldness or rehab in tonight's broadcast, nor will there be any mention of Anna Nicole's "body possession" hearing."

Ha. That's great to hear, though I wonder if he can promise that for every broadcast. I'm sure when the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby is finally revealed and/or there is a funeral for Smith, it will be mentioned. (Plus you can get tons of coverage over on MSNBC.)

But "The Daily Nightly" is a good TV news blog, with posts by not only Williams but other NBC reporters as well.

That's the claim she's making in a joke e-mail she sent to staffers at CNN Headline News. She's been so fed up with all of the people coming forward to claim they might be the father (the list so far includes Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, an ex who is in jail and J. Howard Marshall, the old guy she married years ago who might have frozen his sperm) so she finally declared that she was the father of the baby.

This would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that Grace has been covering the damn story from every single angle several times since Anna Nicole Smith died.

It's funny that she would say she's the father of the baby, since most people describe her as being a "mother."

[via TV Newser]

That's what Starpulse is reporting, anyway, citing "a source" that claims studios are "falling over themselves" to create a biopic about the late actress, model and reality TV star. I don't pretend to understand how this crazy machine called Hollywood operates, but are studios really in a mad dash to make this supposed biopic? If one is being planned, I would assume it would be some kind of made-for-TV affair, and that Theron is far too popular right now to even consider such a thing.

Let's play casting director: who do you guys think should play Anna Nicole Smith? I keep thinking Dolly Parton for two obvious reasons, but Parton's just too classy in my mind. They could always create a CGI Anna, too. If no one takes this alleged role they might have to resort to that.

Aside from tabloid stories for years to come, the late Anna Nicole Smith has left us with one final reminder of her time here on Earth: the DVD release of her 2005 movie Illegal Aliens. The movie comes from Edgewood Studios, located in Vermont (the "Other Hollywood" as I like to call it) and was partly financed by Smith, who also helped out with the script, according to TV.com. The movie, created as a spoof of schlocky sci-fi B-movies, will be available in May, so save some space on your shelves next to Skyscraper and To the Limit. And if you want to make fun of these low-budget flicks, go right ahead, but just remember that Anna has worked with the Coen brothers, and you haven't.

The movie also stars Joanie Laurer (aka Chyna), former WWE wrestler.

If you dare, check out the trailer here, which includes the classic line, "why is my poopy hole sore?" Why that never appeared on AFI's top movie quotes is beyond me.

Various things I've been thinking about lately.

1. I don't know why I didn't notice this before, but the guy who plays Horn-Rimmed Glasses Man on Heroes, Jack Coleman, is the guy who played Steven Carrington on Dynasty in the 80s! I didn't recognize him at all. Not that I watched Dynasty. I was a Knot's Landing guy. Great hair though.

• In hopes of creating some extra friction, Survivor: Fiji kicked off the season by separating tribes into the "have's" and the "have-not's" ... but the real force to be reckoned with here is that couch.
  
• I'm hoping to see my favorite side of Jeff Foxworthy, as the host of the new game show Are you Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
  
• We're still reeling about the death of Anna Nicole Smith.

Wow, here's another plot twist no one saw coming: Zsa Zsa Gabor's* husband says he might be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter.

Prince Frederick von Anhalt says that he had a long relationship with Smith and that "if you go back from September, she wasn't with one of those guys, she was with me." And he's not just saying this, he's actually going to file a lawsuit if the baby is given to either Howard K. Stern or Larry Birkhead.

Other people who might be the father of the baby:

• Andy Dick
• Larry The Cable Guy
• Rita Cosby
• Larry King
• Lance Armstrong
• Me

*For the record, Zsa Zsa wasn't the one on Green Acres. That was sister Eva.

You would think that former pro-wrestler Chyna Doll and Anna Nicole would have been the best of chums. It makes a lot of pop culture sense when you spend a few seconds of your life contemplating it. Which you shouldn't have, but if you did, it would seem logical.

However, that is not the case. And at least Anna's real friends from Trimspa, specifically the first lady of Trimspa, Monique Goen, was ready to make that abundantly clear as they both did the talk show rounds before the body even cooled off.