NBC has brought back American Gladiators to good ratings, and now ABC wants to bring back a show from TVs past. The network is bringing back Circus of the Stars, the specials that had TV stars walking highwires, training tigers, swinging on a trapeze, and juggling. And NBC isn't staying out of the celebrity circus game. In fact, they have a new show coming up that's actually titled Celebrity Circus.

Eh. This isn't the 80s celebrity competition show I want to see come back. How about one of the networks (or all, they can rotate) bringing back Battle of the Network Stars? That might be fun strike viewing. And no, I'm not talking about that lame, horrifying Battle of the Reality TV Stars from a few years back. I want to see Jon Stewart steering a kayak, Matthew Fox throwing a football, but mostly I want to see the blond chick from Chuck in a wet bathing suit.

As for Circus of the Stars, I think the only thing that might make me tune in is the possibility of seeing Dr. Phil eaten by a lion.

People who say "hey, whatever happened to Gabe Kaplan?" obviously don't watch poker on television. He's been a player and commentator on the tour for quite some time now. He doesn't act, but he is getting back into stand-up comedy.

He's also a writer. He has a new book out, Kotter's Back: E-mails From A Faded Celebrity To A Bewildered World. It's a series of humorous e-mails to various people about supposedly great ideas that Kaplan has to get back into the public eye. Stuff like writing a memoir about his sex life or starting a gambling camp for kids.