bill kristol

After all the intense fake-feuding with Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien, it may be difficult to remember that Mike Huckabee is actually a real guy who is truly running for president. You may remember him from Daily Show jokes like "Ha! That guy doesn't believe in evolution!" and "Ha! That guy says he doesn't harp on his religious views, but he totally does." Jon also needs to start singing random renditions of "Don't go chasin' waterfalls..." more often. As for Chuck Norris' action pants, additional information can be found here. Place your orders now!

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"The Departed": I screamed when I heard the news of Karl Rove's departure, and I think a bit of my heart exploded as well. I thought this segment was going to provide Jon with one last chance to roll that horrible clip of MC Rove, rapping with Brad Sherwood and Colin Mochrie, but they didn't do it! I was a bit relieved and a bit disappointed at the same time. Fun Fact: The name "Turd Blossom" will never stop being funny.

Senior White House Correspondent John Oliver talked about the magical joy that is Mr. Rove. First of all, "doughy pantaloons" sounds like a horrible pastry. Second, a "turd pinata" sounds like a very bad surprise at a kid's birthday party. Third, John Oliver and animated woodland creatures are a great team.

Some quick Tara Conner news... The newest Miss USA was in the middle of a huge scandal, only to be saved by Donald "Yay for Second Chances!" Trump. Actually, Jon didn't seem to mind the rumors about Conner's bisexuality. Ha-HA! Bi-curous.

"Irandecision 2006": The results of Iran's recent election don't look so good for President Mahmud Ahmadinejad. As for news in Iraq, Iran's not-so-friendly neighbor, violence has reached record highs. Whee!