(S0E03) "If you ask them first, 90% of them will say 'No.' But hey, once it's up there..." -- Belle

Ahh, the pitfalls of being a London call girl. I'll have to remember Belle's trick for when I'm stuck with a marathon runner and I'm on someone else's clock. That someone else is Ashok. We met Belle's very first client tonight. I already hope we see more of him.

My review of Secret Diary of a Call Girl is after the jump.

I'm going to hazard the guess that if you are a regular visitor to TV Squad that you, like me, probably watch more television than the average bear. Partly out of good old fashioned curiosity, and partly because I'm paying for all of those channels so I might as well use them, I make it a point to cover as much of my cable TV package as I can when time allows. Doing so, you end up finding some odd and interesting things. After the jump, five things I've learned from my cable TV over the last week or so.

(S01E02) "Sometimes I get paid to do the things I've always wanted to do." -- Belle

Like have sex with old Scottish men who have a penchant for horses? No, wait, that was last week. This week Belle went to an exclusive adult party (think Eyes Wide Shut, but not as creepy) and meet her favorite author. She also got to wear a black wig (think Chicago) and some feathers around her neck (think Big Bird).

Check out my review of Secret Diary of a Call Girl after the jump. I promise, no more references.

(S01E01) Right after Weeds, we got our first look at Showtime's new original comedy series Secret Diary of a Call Girl. The half-hour show stars Billie Piper as Belle du Jour, a high-class London call girl. Tonight we got to meet Belle, who is Hannah the legal secretary by day, her agent Stephanie, her best friend Ben and a few of her clients.

We also got to hear Belle's rules: keep her two lives completely separate and stay in control. (There were others but those were the important ones.)

Then we got to see Belle break said rules.

Showtime has a new original comedy series premiering next week called Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I watched five of the eight half-hour episodes slated for season one (Showtime has ordered eight more for next year). In fact, I watched four episodes in one sitting. That should give you an idea of how much I enjoyed the show. It's easy to watch, well-acted, and the subject matter is well...interesting to say the least.

Take an early look at Secret Diary of a Call Girl after the jump.

In the No Duh News category, Sci Fi Channel has reported that they've acquired the fourth series (or season) of Doctor Who for air beginning in April. What's great additional news is that they've also picked up The Sarah Jane Adventures as well. The latter series focuses on Elisabeth Sladen's Sarah Jane, one of the most popular and famous "companions" in Who History, as she battles to keep Britain and the world save from alien encounters and invasions.

Sarah Jane is aided by a small group of children in her quest. And while the series has a lower budget than Who and is geared more towards a children's audience, I still found it to be tremendously fun. And any opportunity to see K-9 is worth it in my book!

In a rare move, a US network has picked up a British television program and decided not to make an American version. According to Zap2It.com, Showtime so fell in love with Billie Piper's (Doctor Who's Rose) performance as the titular character Hannah/Belle that they've decided to just bring over the British version of Secret Diary of a Call Girl as is. Based on real-life diaries, the comedy Call Girl features Piper as secretary Hannah by day, call girl Belle by night and proved to be a big hit for the UK's ITV2.

Showtime will air the eight-episode first season in spring or summer of '08. It's no wonder, with the popular (even in the US) Piper attached, that Showtime decided not to make an Americanized version. Well, that and the fact that most of the time when we Americanize a British hit show we destroy it (Absolutely Fabulous, Coupling). Hell, even The Office was a near disaster. Honestly, I don't get it. I guess American studios think we Americans are too dumb to "get" British shows.

The Sci Fi channel has announced it will begin airing Doctor Who series three in July. The third season of the program is already airing on the BBC, but American Whovians are used to waiting a little while to get their fix.

The new season will kick off with the Christmas special episode "The Runaway Bride," so I guess this will be a sort of Christmas in July. David Tennant will reprise his role as the Doctor, although it's anybody's guess whether he'll be back for a fourth season. With the departure of Billie Piper, the Doctor will pick up a new traveling companion, Martha Jones, played by Freema Agyeman. But you if you've been following our reviews, you already knew that.

Sci Fi says the second season of Doctor Who drew more than 1 million viewers each week, which are pretty good numbers for the niche cable network.

[via Digg]

A good bit of information is coming from the Doctor Who camp about the upcoming third series (what we call season here in the colonies). First off, the show will premiere in March in the UK and in the fall here in the US, most likely on SciFi Channel.

David Tennant returns as the Doctor, but without his trusty partner Rose Tyler. That's because, to the disappointment of many fans, Billie Piper decided to quit the show after the second season. She will be replaced by Freema Agyeman as Martha Jones. If the name sounds familiar, or it looks like you've seen her before, that's because she had a small role in the Doctor Who episode "Army of Ghosts". What can the Doctor and Martha look forward to this upcoming season? Well, they'll meet up with William Shakespeare, confront witches and vampires, battle a Dalek invasion in 1930's Manhattan, and reunite with Captain Jack Harkness. In other words, the usual.

What is it about Doctor Who that makes people want to leave? First we had Christopher Eccleston (The Doctor) calling it quits after one series. Then Billie Piper (Rose) left after two. Now The Sun is reporting that David Tennant (The Doctor) may not be coming back after he finishes series three, his second with the show. According to reports, he has been offered £1million to come back for series four. Digging out the calculator, converting pounds to dollars, dividing by episodes, that's more than what those crazy kids over at Lost are getting.

Of course, he could also be floating his exit in the press as a bargaining tool. Maybe he wants more money, a personal chef, or just all the Toblerone he can possibly eat. Whatever the case, I'd like to see him stick around. I'm really enjoying his work as The Doctor in series two, currently airing in the U.S. on SciFi. But given the recent history of the show, anything can happen.

(S01E15) The Doctor (to Rose):  You were fantastic! And you know what? So was I.

Okay, much to talk about this episode. So, no dilly-dallying around, boys and girls. Let's get right to it!

We begin where we left off last episode: Rose (Billie Piper) is a prisoner of the Daleks, who are on a direct course to Earth for a little invading. Luckily, our heroes The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston, in his last episode) and Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman, also in his last episode) come to her rescue and appear right in the middle of the Daleks' command bridge. It's here that The Doctor learns about the resurgence of the Dalek population. To summarize . . . after the Time War ended the Emperor Dalek escaped and began to repopulate from dead humans. Ripping away all vestiges of humanity the Emperor created a new army of Daleks. After doing this about half-a-million times he began to think of himself as a god, and he wants to continue that streak of good luck by assimilating the rest of the human population.

Of course, The Doctor isn't having any of that.

(S01E12) Now THAT'S how you play Big Brother. If the evicted were vaporized instead of allowed to come back during 'All-Star' challenges I would certainly tune in on a weekly basis. Alas, the current producers of the show, both in America and the UK, probably have no intentions of implementing any type of vaporizing beam on the housemates. Well, one can dream, can't they?

We're back on Satellite 5, except 100 years later than the last time we were there during The Long Game. It's not the hub of the galaxy's news anymore; now it's the Game Station and its contestants don't play the games voluntarily. This is where our story begins as The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), Rose (Billie Piper) and Captain Jack (John Barrowman) get split up into three different game shows. Rose gets stuck on an episode of The Weakest Link where the loser gets disintigrated; Jack lands on an episode of What Not to Wear featuring two androids (who look a bit like large Lego people with breasts) who want to put a duck head on the good Captain and attach his legs onto his chest ; and The Doctor makes it into the Big Brother house (one of sixty on the Game Station) where those evicted get turned into a fine powder.

So, needless to say, our heroes want out.

 

(S01E11)

Margaret : This is persecution. What can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?

The Doctor: You tried to kill me and destroy the entire planet.

Margaret: Apart from that. 

After two weeks of fairly dark and creepy episodes we lighten it up this week as The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), Rose (Billie Piper) and Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) return to present day England. In addition, we saw the return of Rose's former beau Mickey Smith (Noel Clarke) and, surprisingly, Margaret Blaine (Annette Badland). For those who are scratching their heads at that one, Badland appeared as the female Slitheen alien in the episodes Aliens of London and World War Three earlier in the season.

Where the last two episodes where just full of multiple plotlines, this episode settled down on just one:  Margaret Blaine's attempts to build a nuclear power plant in the South Wales town of Cardiff, which would be used to pull in spatial energy that will allow her to get off of Earth. However, this wasn't the main crux of the episode. The actual focus was on the relationships of some of the characters. Particularly, the relationship between Rose and Mickey and the one between The Doctor and the alien Slitheen, who had previously attempted to kill him.

(S01E10)  Former gas-masked zombie: My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had one leg!

Doctor (not The Doctor): Well, there is a war on, is it possible you miscounted?

The Doctor can babysit at my house anytime. I mean, any man who can get a crazed group of gas-masked zombies to stop attacking just by saying 'Go to your room' can get my kids to behave as well.

This episode was another fine performance all around for stars Christopher Eccleston (The Doctor) and Billie Piper (Rose Tyler) as well as writer Steven Moffat and Director James Hawes. Moffat and Hawes kept the tension that they developed last episode ("The Empty Child") while bringing in a bit more levity and even a happy ending for all concerned.

To recap: when we left our intrepid duo last episode they, as well as Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman, who looks and sounds a little bit like Tom Cruise), were about to become alien zombies. As mentioned above, The Doctor gave them all a stern talking to, which caused all of the zombies to go back to their rooms. From that point on it was a non-stop train ride.

(S01E09)

Captain Jack: Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spock!

The Doctor: Mr Spock?

Rose: What else was I gonna say? You don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of The Doctor? Doctor Who?

The Doctor: Nine centuries, I'm coping.

Cree-py!

If there is one word that describes this episode of Doctor Who it would be the word you see above. Oh, I could also use adjectives such as romantic, funny, mysterious and, um, blitzy. Yet, they would be secondary to creepy. Credit this to writer Steven Moffat and director James Hawes who used every trick in the Stephen King book of suspense to get that chill up your spine while The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) investigated the mystery of a homeless child who really wasn't.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. So, jump at the sound of the gong to find out what the episode was all about.