bloody

Christmas isn't just about hanging stockings, decorating the tree, buying presents, burning the Yule log and cleaning the vomit off your roof from airsick reindeer. Sometimes it's about shooting your wife and son in the face and sawing through your son's skull, or so animator David Firth imagines in this graphic animated Christmas card (extreme cartoon violence, so be warned). This was supposed to appear on the BBC Four program Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, but Brooker rejected it. Firth has apparently made animated shorts for the series before, but this one wasn't family-friendly enough according to Brooker. Like Firth says, more people will probably see it on the Web, anyway. I figured I'd help that along and mention it here, because it really is quite funny if you have a twisted sense of humor.

[via Cold, Hard Flash]

That's right, Fuse TV will be presenting the Chainsaw Awards on October 22 at 9:30 pm. Who will take home the trophy this year? Will it be the Partner K950 gas-powered chainsaw with decompression valve for easy pull starting? Or what about the eighteen-inch Homelite chainsaw with automatic chain brake, which has lost out for the past five years to the fourteen-inch Remington electric chainsaw? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm excited to find out which of th--

Hang on, someone just tapped me on the shoulder and told me the Chainsaw Awards is actually a special from Fuse and Fangoria honoring horror movies. I guess that's cool, too. Categories include "Killer Movie," "Looks That Kill," and "Best Butcher." Sounds like a fun-filled night of blood and gore. I'm looking forward to it. The awards have been handed out since 1992, but this marks the first time they've been televised.

(S02E07) This episode begins with Tom sitting in a jail cell with another prisoner (Judd Hirsch) who's in jail because he locked his fifteen year old nephew in the cellar over the weekend for pooping and peeing all over his house. Tom, on the other hand, is in jail for killing about four thousand people. His cell mate reacts to this news with, "people are too sensitive these days."

Tom's tale of woe begins when he becomes a salesman for a new device called "Spray a Carpet or Rug," a gigantic machine that emits a foam that turns into carpet instantaneously. The Mayor loves the device because he can carpet all of Jefferton and not have to pay the "lawn mower man" who takes care of the grass and has been pestering the Mayor about a raise. The city council allows Tom to do a test run on Memorial Park, so Tom dons his chemical suit (the foam causes him seizures) and carpets the whole park.

(S02E06) If there was any doubt in my mind about the brilliance that is Wonder Showzen, it was put to rest by last night's episode, which was by far the funniest and most insane episode so far this season. There are a lot of comedic elements that come easy for Wonder Showzen: the gross-out humor, the surreal twists, and the acid-induced logic, but what really makes the show for me are those moments when it outright defies the viewer to keep watching. Last season they did it with the episode "Patience" in which the whole last half of the episode was just the first half of the episode played backwards. In this episode, after a fight breaks out between the regular show and a bootleg knock-off of the program, they decide to split the television screen 60/40, so the audience can watch both shows at once. Eventually more and more shows begin to take over the television screen, which resulted in four minutes of sometimes as many as eight segments all being shown simultaneously at  equal volume.