carl

(S05E01) "Hey, you got kids? If I were married to her... we'd be pumping 'em out!" - Carl

The return of everyone's favorite talking fast-food crime fighters. Except... they weren't in the episode at all, save for a brief phone conversation Carl had with Frylock. Many may have already seen this episode. It was a special feature on the recently released "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am" video game. I never bought it, so it was new to me. Here's where it gets confusing though. In the grand scheme of ATHF, this is the 69th episode. However, if you reference the most recent Adult Swim TV schedule, the 70th episode was supposed to air tonight and this episode wasn't scheduled to have a TV premiere until March 23rd. Not like it's that much of a surprise. Adult Swim is known for just airing stuff whenever they feel like it. Remember last season's finale? Carl Wash? That one ended up airing almost a week early on a Friday night at around 3:00AM and it was never announced.

For those that haven't heard already, the MLB-commissioned Mitchell Report was released last week and it implicated numerous players with allegations of steroid purchase and use. Most notable? Roger Clemens. Carl Brutananadilewski is none too pleased.

His opinion? It's all a conspiracy to tarnish his beloved Yankees. Carl is an avid New York sports fan as evidenced in the episode "Bart Oates" and he seems to think the Mitchell Report is crap. Watch Carl defend Clemens, complain about the Red Sox, and admit to using steroids himself... in the butt. Best argument? Boston great Ted Williams must have been juiced. Click on the jump to find out why.

I'd forgotten all about this little online game until last week's freak-out in Boston over the Mooninites. As with many, many similar games, you can answer questions about yourself and discover which character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is most like you.

Now, this isn't the best 'which character are you' game out there. It's pretty obvious by the options which one will make you Shake and which one will make you Meatwad. Still, it's a way to kill five minutes (ten, if you're a slow reader).

I was expecting to be Frylock but I ended up being Carl. Yep, Carl. The hairy, stupid neighbor with a cool car. I went very wrong somewhere.

(S04E13) Well this was a long time coming. I had been paying close attention to online schedules (for a while now), waiting for this episode to air. As far as I knew, it was supposed to play this past Sunday. Instead, it was a repeat airing of "Dickesode." Well guess what? "Carl Wash" already aired! Way back on December 22 in the 3:30AM time-slot no less. At least that's what the ATHF wikipedia page says. Can you believe that? I didn't think Adult Swim did stealth premieres anymore. Especially for one of their most popular shows. Wouldn't that kill any chance for ratings? Oh well.

Anyway, I feel like I'm last in on the joke though because after just a few minutes of searching, I found numerous discussion boards talking about the episode and then I found a site that was actually streaming it. Better late that never. It's a good one.

(S04E12) The thing with Aqua Teen Hunger Force is that it used to be probably the funniest show that Adult Swim aired. That was a few years ago though and now it's really just part of a line-up of shows that are equally funny. The problem with this is that the great episodes of ATHF don't stand out as much as they used to and the really bad ones? Well, they stick out like a grandpa who took too much Viagra.

This was one of those episodes.

(S04E11) Man, I love this show. Even more, I love how incestuous the entire Adult Swim family is. How funny was the cameo from George "Space Ghost" Lowe? He's been on the show a few times before, but never playing himself. It was a riot. Favorite part? When he tried to charge Meatwad forty bucks for an autographed picture. Meatwad said for that price, it better come with a hand-job. George's response? "Oh... it does!" Even funnier was when we found out that Meatwad had no idea what an HJ was.

This show could honestly go on forever. Anything could become a topic. ATHF is like the Seinfeld of animated shows. It really is about nothing and I love it.

(S04E10) This isn't exactly the type of show you expect to see guest stars on. There have been plenty of folk that have lent their voice talent. For instance, Scott Thompson of Kids in the Hall fame voiced Dusty Gozongas last season. But this season, we've now had two people actually play themselves. First, pornstar Tera Patrick stopped by and now football great Bart Oates. How do they find these people?

(S04E09) Outstanding! I was hoping we'd get a new Mooninites episode this season. Now if only we could get some Plutonians too. Regardless, this was a good one. One of the best of the season. What was up with Err's voice though? It sounded way off. Maybe it's from all the moonajuana he's been smoking.

(S04E08) This episode wasn't so hot. In fact, it was kind of a cop-out if you ask me. It just doesn't seem right that a show that's only about eleven minutes long to begin with should spend any amount of time by showing scenes from a previous episode.

Don't get me wrong. The montage showing all the clips of Frylock saving Meatwad and Shake from episodes past was funny, but it's the sort of thing I would expect as an Easter Egg on a DVD set -- not as an actual episode. It just seems like a lazy thing to do.

(S04E07) Great episode! Shake is at it again, destroying the world and I loved every second of it. He and Meatwad decided they wanted to make a Mucus Man, which is essentially what it sounds like. A little guy made entirely out of snot. His mouth is a strip of bacon though. But once he's made, they have to harden him. Apparently that's what you do with a Mucus Man -- harden him. With what you ask? A grill. Duh.

(S04E06) (This is an early review courtesy of the Adult Swim Fix) What a crazy episode! It was all over the place and I loved ever second of it. This is the Aqua Teen Hunger Force that I remember -- smart, topical. As much as I liked "Dickesode," it was just potty humor and this was a by far superior episode. You know something I just noticed though? Why is there no short to the open the episode? At least when they got rid of Dr. Weird, we transitioned to Spacecataz. Now there's nothing and that sucks. Oh well, moving on.

(S04E05) (This is an early review courtesy of the Adult Swim Fix) Not bad, but not great either. Despite last week's toilet-humor themed episode ("Dickesode"), I liked it. Laughed hysterically, over and over again. I thought "Handbanana," by comparison was flat. There weren't too many funny lines, the story itself wasn't anything special, and there wasn't enough Shake. Plus, I'm starting to get a little tired of the "something terrible happens to Carl" episodes and this was one of the many. What else could they possibly do to this guy?

(S04E04) (This is an early review courtesy of the Adult Swim Fix) After months of waiting, Aqua Teen Hunger Force has finally returned to finish out the tail end of it's fourth season which started last December. Only three episodes (Dirtfoot, Boost Mobile, and Deleted Scenes) aired at the time and the season then went on hiatus until now. It was assumed that the time in between was dedicated to finishing up the ATHF movie (it exists!), but it's nice to see the show back on the small screen.

(S06E12)

Marge: Kids can be so cruel.

Bart: We can? Thanks, mom! (runs into Lisa's room and attacks her)

This episode does a great job of satirizing Freemasons, a fraternal order whose secretive membership makes it ripe for conspiracy theories and assorted rumors about its role in shaping historical events. The truth, most likely, is probably not nearly that exciting.

In this episode Homer joins a masonic-like society called the Stonecutters after stalking Lenny and Carl to find out why they're getting so many perks, such as vibrating chairs at work and great parking spaces. Since his father was a Stonecutter, Homer is automatically allowed to join, but he does have to go through a hazing ritual, which includes being paddled on the ass repeatedly and being blindfolded and pushed off a platform that's allegedly five stories off the ground, but is really just a few inches from the floor. Ironically, Homer actually falls through the floor, and the next five floors, as well.