I've written many times here about how much I hate the tabloid shows, whether it's Access Hollywood, TMZ, or Entertainment Tonight. One of the worst is ET's sister show, The Insider. Besides having a despicable host (Pat O'Brien -- what's with that little fake laugh he does all the time?) and the lamest writing this side of a junior high student newspaper, it's also evil and dumb.

Take last night's episode. I don't watch the show, but I didn't get to my remote quick enough to change the channel after the news ended and I caught the teaser opening. They showed singer John Mayer with a gun to his head, a rather raw photograph that looked like it was taken across the street from a bank. Was Mayer being held hostage in a holdup? Was one of Jennifer Aniston's exes there telling him not to see her anymore? OMG! Stay tuned to this breaking news!

Several months ago I made a promise that I was never going to watch the daily tabloid shows again. And I held on to that promise for a long time, and didn't watch Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, Access Hollywood or the other shows. Until last night, that is. I wanted to see if there was any news on the Owen Wilson story (though these shows claiming they have "breaking news" is truly laughable in this day of the web and instant info). I just want to report that these shows are still disgusting, ridiculous, and sleazy.

Example: On The Insider, Pat O'Brien showed clips of the hospital, with Samuel L. Jackson arriving and also Owen Wilson's brothers driving in a car to or from the place. And then they show "last known photos of the actor" (taken, um, August 8), and O'Brien describes Wilson as "running his hand through his hair," and you see Wilson with a serious look on his face. O'Brien is clearly implying that they can decipher something from a quick photo taken weeks ago on some street. Give me a break.

Pete Emslie, a Canadian-born artist who works mostly as an illustrator for Disney merchandise and children's books, has a site with some really amazing caricatures, many of them television celebrities. His drawing of Larry King is on the right, but also check out this drawing of Don Rickles from Jeff Pidgeon's blog, where I first read about Emslie's site.

As Pidgeon points out, Emslie's caricature is more than just a good likeness, it also captures the essence of the real person. That mischievous grin and those bright ornery eyes tell volumes. I also love how King's shoulders are almost higher than his head.

While we all mourn the demise of the celebrity Roast, I thought this might be a good time to reflect back on a time when the master, Don Rickles, used just the right combination of acerbic wit and what would today be called "political incorrectness" for hilarious results.

All comedians, in their own way, are skilled at keeping an audience engaged, but very few can match the likes of Don Rickles. There are a lot of angry comedians out there, and even some who aren't afraid to take a few shots at the audience, but Rickles' act was only ostensibly about insults. At its core, it was about creating a kind of communal moment in which no one was the butt of the joke because everyone was the butt of the joke.

In March, I told you about a new TV Land series called Back to the Grind in which celebrities from classic TV shows actually attempt to do the jobs their characters performed on television. I told you it debuted on October 10, but clearly I was lying because it actually kicks off this Wednesday, July 18 at 10:30 p.m.

If you don't have TV Land, don't worry. You can actually watch full episodes on TV Land's site starting July 16. Right now you can just see a few clips, but I think they give a pretty good idea of what to expect. I especially enjoyed watching Erik Estrada continuously fail both the written examination and driving test for his motorcycle license. Also, Loni Anderson doesn't look that much different than she did when she was on WKRP in Cincinnati. It's almost as if she had some kind of surgery performed on herself to make her look younger than she really is.

Good news for fans of celebrity gossip dished out by a gay man with a love for MS Paint: popular online muckraker Perez Hilton is coming to VH1 as the host of What Perez Says, a series of one-hour specials that Hilton himself is describing as "like PerezHilton.com come to life, but even juicier." The new series debuts in September.

I suppose it's somewhat ironic that Perez is becoming part of the celebrity world he so gleefully attacks on his blog. Of course, in this age when almost everyone is a celebrity in some form or another, it's not too surprising.

• Two guys play the Beverly Hills, 90210 theme on one guitar.
• More talk about a merger between CBS and CNN.
• This fall's new shows can teach you a lot about life.
• The season is over, so why not catch up on some reading?
• Star airbrushes Jennifer Aniston.
• Rate the season at AOL Television's Best and Worst poll.
• Mo Rocca hangs out with Former President Bill Clinton.

Remember Garbage Pail Kids, those gross little trading cards featuring such classic characters as Shaggy Aggie and Eaten Ethan, among many, many others?

Well, if you loved those icky little kids, you might also like a new series from Topps called Hollywood Zombies. The cards are probably a little too sick for some tastes, but they were designed by some truly amazing artists, including Jay Lynch, Mark Stutzman and many others.

Splitting Images is a celebrity lookalike company in the U.K. They have a ton of people that can be hired for your next party, corporate event, or other entertainment-related function, though some of the lookalikes look more like the celebs than others.

For example, these guys look like Rowan Atkinson so much that they could probably commit some crime and he'd be blamed for it, and this guy could probably do the same for Bing Crosby, if he wasn't, you know, dead and all. But a lot of these people seem to be stretching things a bit. Do these woman really look enough like Pamela Anderson? And does this guy really look like Mr. Spock? I guess wearing a costume and/or having a pic taken in a particular setting helps.

Of course, you could get a Leo Sayer lookalike, though hiring the real Leo Sayer now would probably be cheaper now.

[via Marty Beckerman]

I've been to a handful of comedy shows in my life, and I can't say I've ever seen a bona fide heckler. I have seen people who want to converse with the comedian during their set, which is probably just as annoying.

However, hecklers aren't only found in the back of comedy clubs. They've gotten under the skin of everyone from movie directors to sports figures to politicians, and the anonymity of the Web has allowed for even more of them to pop up on messageboards and forums to let everyone know just who sucks and who sucks even more. If there were a way to make money from telling creative people you don't like them and that they should die, we'd have a lot more millionaires.

This clip is worth it for the reaction of Gawker editor Emily Gould. She seems completely shocked and unprepared.

Jimmy Kimmel was guest host on Larry King Live on Friday night, and the topic was gossip, celebrity stalking, and the various celeb mags and web sites. Though usually irreverent, Kimmel was dead serious about confronting Gould about the many false or mistaken sightings that readers (or as Gould calls them, "citizen journalists," gag) sent into Gawker Stalker.

Bravo is developing a new reality series called Money Shot that pits photographers against one another for the chance to have their pictures appear in the pages of People. The photographers will take place in a number of different competitions and have their work judged by a panel of experts who either work as photographers, or who have been shot by famous photographers. I'm not entirely sure why having your picture taken makes you an expert anymore than listening to music makes you a musician, but no one at Bravo has asked me, so what the heck do I know?

The new series is currently in development. No word yet on when it will air. While we wait for the series to debut, I think we should all place bets on who will be the first commenter to crack a joke about the title of this new series and its connection to the porn industry. I'll bet five bucks someone makes a joke within ten minutes of me posting this.

Courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter, here's some pilot and casting news from the major networks:

First of all, the FOX drama pilot NSA Innocent is now Company Man, and has cast Jason Behr in the lead as a man hired by the NSA to spy on his own company. Annie Wersching of General Hospital will play his wife.

Heather Locklear has been cast in the title role for the ABC comedy pilot See Jayne Run, about a tough career woman trying to balance work and motherhood.

(S18E16) I often counter anti-Simpsons bromides by telling people that no series can be perfect all the time, but I think there's a part of me that still expects perfection. I'm like a mother that knows her child isn't perfect, and yet feels let down when they falter, because damn it, I know they're better than that.

I probably could have come up with a better analogy, but it's too late now, I'm already on the second paragraph. The thing is: I liked this episode. It made me laugh, and it had a ton of great gags, and plenty were "pause button worthy." It just didn't feel "full," you know? Of course, the first indication should have been the extra-long opening sequence showing Homer evolving as he treks to his house to sit with his family on the couch. When you see a long couch gag, you know they were a little short on the episode length that week.

MTV is really getting into this whole idea of TV viewers also becoming TV content providers. First they add a new viewer video category for the MTV Movie Awards, and now they're looking for guest hosts for Total Request Live.

Fans of the show have to answer six questions to enter, including which celebrity that they'd pick to star as in a movie about their life, who they would pick for the ultimate TRL guest list, and how they would describe TRL to someone who has never seen the show before (that last one is easy: they play music videos, a celeb comes on, and the kids in the audience go nutso). MTV and Acuvue will pick four winners who will each host a day in May.

You also have to upload a picture of yourself. So please, make sure you're attractive.

[via TV Guide]