(S05E08) I was always terrible at math in school, which probably explains why I'm typing this right now. So this episode of The Mole, at least the first half, is rather tense for me. I like to follow along with the questions and the clues and try to figure out stuff myself in this game (as much as you can in an edited format), and all of the questions involving math problems in the first challenge confuse me. Still, I knew the answer to that one question was 455, and I couldn't understand why Clay was insisting it was a number it couldn't possibly be. Could he be screwing up the numbers on purpose because he's (insert dramatic music)...the Mole?

(S05E02) "I'll kill you in your sleep...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence." - Nicole, to Paul

Uh...wow. That's one of the more provocative statements made in the history of The Mole. Of course, if this show was on CBS Nicole would have said, "...I can do it and not leave any forensic evidence and even the CSI: Miami team wouldn't be able to prove I did it." The funny thing is, Nicole wasn't totally out of line in saying it. Just when you think Nicole was the "evil" one on this reality show, another strong contender shows up: Paul. I don't know which one I'd rather talk to less, though Paul pulled ahead of Nicole tonight in many ways.

(S02E17)

This is an early review. You can watch the episode here, or watch it Sunday night on Adult Swim.

Orel: Gosh, Doughy, I never dreamed that Christian men would be this eager to do God's work.

Doughy: I wonder why Christian women aren't as enthusiastic?

Orel: Well, saving souls is obviously a man's job.

A simple search on this site for the words "moral" and "orel" should provide you with all you need to know about my feelings for this Adult Swim series, but in a nutshell: I've been a fan since the first Christmas episode aired back in December of 2005.

As it turns out, "The Best Christmas Ever" was actually supposed to be the last episode of the first season, something that is discussed at length on the audio commentaries of this DVD set, which hits stores on April 24. Going back and watching the shows in order (the set contains all of season one and the first five episodes of season two), it's easier to see how the writing and animation improved as the creators became more and more comfortable with the town of Moralton and its citizens. The first ten episodes follow the same basic template of Orel trying to do good but ultimately having his intentions backfire, resulting in such chaos as attacks by Christian zombies who pray before they devour people, and a rash of pregnancies across town caused by Orel injecting his sperm into women while they sleep using a pastry bag.

(S02E03) First of all, the animation keeps getting better and better. The opening scene at the park had so much happening, and the show pops off the screen in a vibrant way it didn't during the first season. Not that the first season had bad animation, far from it, but the look is improving as it does in most animated shows. I also loved the bubbles foaming in the sink in the final scene when Bloberta is scrubbing a turkey and a lobster.

Last month I mentioned that MTV2 was planning on bringing Celebrity Deathmatch back. Now, if you can find any information on this, especially on either the MTV or MTV2 site, than you're a better man/woman than I. The only thing I have found is this clip from Perez Hilton of Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton in clay form beating the stuffing out of one another with text below stating that the show is returning on June 10.

Oop, hang on there, Missy. The Futon Critic has the first episode listed as airing on June 9, not 10. Apparently, someone is lying to us. 

(S01E09)

Dad: You need to start behaving like more of an adult around here.

Orel: But dad, I'm only twelve.

Dad: That's no excuse. Why your own personal hero, Jesus, was very mature at your age.

Orel: He was?

Dad: Of course. At twelve he was already busy proving the Jews wrong.

It's been over two months since there has been a new episode of Moral Orel on Adult Swim. So far out of the ten episodes made for this season we've seen only seven, which means we have three episodes still unseen. It also means I can do basic math in my head. Good for me.

Anyway, last night I caught one of Adult Swim's always informative "bumps" which read that those "lost" episodes will air starting next Sunday. If you're a fan of the show like I am and you thought it had gone away, don't worry. Here's what's coming up:

Episode 9, "Maturity," will air on May 14.

Episode 8, "Loyalty," will air on May 21.

The second episode will also air, though they haven't announced a date for that one just yet. Of course, I'll be covering these episodes once again in all their blasphemous glory. 

Shut up, Jesus. -Orel, while on crack

I'd like to kick off this episode recap by recalling, again, some of the funny products shown during last night's episode of Moral Orel:

KLUM-Z Caucasian Band-Aids

Hard Milk (spiked milk that Orel's dad drinks before church)

HIV Away (a doctor sprays it on a needle before drawing blood from Orel's arm)

Orel

Dad: Only track? Young man, track is very important for your future. What happens when you grow up and need to sprint thirty meters to the unemployment office?

Orel: I never thought about it that way.

Dad: Kids your age seldom do. It's called "stupidity" and it's a very natural thing.