cologne

Can shoes or cologne be considered fanboy collectibles? We'll find out together as a very different breed of Star Trek collectibles arrives in time for the post-Thanksgiving gift buying frenzy.

J.J. Abrams made Trek sexy again -- especially the original TV show from the 1960s. So Paramount and CBS put their marketing and licensing people to work. What did they come up with from just inside the Windsor Gate on Melrose?

The Vermont Teddy Bear Company is offering shorter, furrier versions of Captain James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock (right) for about $100 each. I've acquired one of these, and they're well made with a lot of attention to detail in their little uniforms.

Also, make sure you check out the Airwalk Terrain Hi Skate Star Trek StarFleet Edition sneakers from Payless. For $50, you get a really well-made urban sneaker that just happens to bear a Starfleet insignia. And they come in the departmental uniform colors of the original Enterprise crew -- gold, blue and red.

If you've ever wanted to smell exactly like America's most hated man (please get some kind of psychiatric help immediately), now's your chance.

Simon Cowell, the American Idol and X-Factor judge, will have his own brand of cologne along with the rest of the X-Factor judges, Louis Walsh, Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole.

A specific release date hasn't been picked, although it's said they will hit the stores by Christmas. It also looks as though they will only be released in the United Kingdom. And America wept.

One of my favorite features every month in Esquire is the "Things You Don't Know About Women" list. I've learned more about women from reading that list than I would going on a thousand dates. Then again, they're all celebrities who do the list, so maybe they have no practical use in the real world, but they're fun to read. And they seem pretty logical. I wonder if these women know that most men actually agree with everything they say?

This month's list comes from Kidnapped star Dana Delany. Among the bits of wisdom: "Text messenging is for children and people who are having affairs. Don't do either" and "We need you. Because a vibrating piece of plastic can't kiss." I'm not sure I agree with #5 though, "Never wear cologne." I mean, come on. I wear cologne every time I go out. Ladies, what do you say?

The part about this list that makes you cringe isn't even in the list, it's the blurb at the very end. "Dana Delany stars as Ellie Cain on the drama Kidnapped, which airs Saturdays on NBC." Ouch.