commercials that make you lose faith in God

Those FreeCreditReport.com guys have been on my snark radar for a long time. But I deactivated my head-mounted quip laser and turned the sarcasm cannon over to "stealth mode" when the ads came up because it seemed like a little, heh, overkill.

Sure, the ads are designed to be hokey and cheesy so they'll get your attention and get guys like me writing about them, scoring tons of free publicity that only a corporate-sponsored puppy flood could replicate. If anything, they should be applauded for being ridiculously short.

But the latest song from the FreeCreditReport.com "band" has been playing more frequently than the others and its incessant tune feels like a cheese grater being rubbed against my ear drum. So I turned on the sniper scope and aimed directly for the spot between each of their glazed-over eyes.