Back in her 'Forever Your Girl' days, I had a pretty huge crush on Paula Abdul. I was in middle school and learning to be afraid of girls for the first time, and Ms. Abdul would look seductively at me from the poster on my closet door as if to say, "I understand you, Adam. I am forever your girl. Come over here and make out with me."

How I miss the young Paper Paula, and the good times I had French kissing a door. But love, like everything else, does fade away, and since I don't watch American Idol I've moved on to other crushes and fondling other doors in my home.

Sometimes, though, when I start to pine for those hours spent with Paula, I watch a clip from Junior High School and it's like I'm 11 years old again, wanting to put my tongue in her mouth so she'll stop singing. If that's not true love, then I don't want to know what true love is.

(S02E08) This episode, written and directed by Scott Adsit, reminded me of an old Emo Philips joke that you can read here. The gist of the joke is that two people share almost identical religious beliefs, but one insignificant difference is enough to make them enemies. In this episode, a new family, the Posabules, moves in next door to Orel's family. They seem like the perfect neighbors: their kids get along famously, both the men enjoy the album "Non-threatening Negro Comedy Volume 6," and the wives find common ground in their love of organizing detergents. Even when Bloberta goes monkey-crazy because one of her cleaning products is out of place, it's all quickly smoothed over.

The second season of Everybody Hates Chris kicks off on October 1 at 7pm. Here's a brief look at what you can expect in the season opener, "Everybody Hates Rejection," and no worries, I'm not going to give anything away.

First of all, Whoopi Goldberg guest stars as the family's new nosy next door neighbor, Louise, but you already knew that. Louise and Chris' mom Rochelle are at odds over how to deal with the escalating crime in the neighborhood while Chris finds himself attracted to Evette, a new girl at school who turns out not to be the angel he imagined her to be.

So far, Oscar, Kevin, and Angela haven't had much luck in determining who is responsible for the missing $3,000. No leads have been generated, and it seems the staffers they've interviewed so far are too apathetic to even attempt to embezzle the money.