denny crane

(S03E13) Shirley Schmidt: This is getting ugly.

Denny Crane: Denny Crane ugly.

The whole Denise-Brad-Jeffrey sex plot has got to go! At first I thought it was kind of amusing. But, after three weeks of it the whole storyline has reached the tiring stage, especially if you saw the scenes from next week's show. It's like watching an episode of The O.C., except with much older people. Frankly, I really don't care who Denise is sleeping with. Hell, she could be sleeping with Paul for all that matters (that would make a much better story). It's time to get past it and have these three focus on the Legal portion of Boston Legal.

Now, with that out of the way, let's press on with this week's fairly Alan Shore-free episode.

There are many fulfilling aspects to having and raising children. For example, you get to watch them grow from these tiny beings who need constant attention to boys and girls that can walk, and talk, and develop their own personalities. You share in their triumphs and their defeats and you work with them to learn from their mistakes in order to become better people. If you're lucky, they achieve greatness in one aspect or another and end up buying you that retirement home in Maui that you have always wanted.

Then there are the aspects to having and raising children that aren't as fulfilling, like scrubbing the carpet with OxyClean at 1:30 in the morning to get out the luscious aroma of your daughter's throw-up. This is what I've been doing for the last three nights. Not with just one daughter, but with all three of my daughters: the stomach virus that hit them was quick and nasty. Luckily, my son was spared a ride on the Vomit Express (so far), which is good, since he is having surgery to clear a blocked tear duct at the same time that you're probably reading this post.

(S3E10) So, after a few murders, missing body parts, incestuous love between a mother and her son, and the kidnapping of Shirley Schmidt, we get back to the normal absurdity that is Boston Legal. This week features a custody case involving two white supremacist singing sensations, a woman who wants to sue God because her husband was struck by lightning, a pro-anorexic girl who is seeking emancipation from her mother, and Shirley in a bunny suit. In other words, just a normal couple of days at the law firm of Crane, Poole and Schmidt.

All that, plus appearances by Clarence, Bethany, Bethany's mom and Jerry (Aaaaarrrrgggghhh!) and yet another alum of Star Trek. So, let's get comfy and press ahead on the last new episode before the holiday break.

(S03E09) Suck . . . my . . . lobe. -- Shirley Schmidt

Back so soon? Gosh, it feels like I just wrote about Boston Legal two days ago.

Now that the second part of this Boston Legal 'event' (according to the network) has aired I can reveal what happened at the end of the first part. Lincoln Meyer attacked Gracie Jane in her hotel room after she ridiculed him on her television show. Then, he abducted Shirley Schmidt and took her to his 'safe-room', also known as a locked room in Lincoln's basement.

(S03E08) No, it's not Tuesday night. For some reason ABC preempted Brothers & Sisters to air the first of this two-part episode of Boston Legal. My guess for the preemption: sweeps. Though, when you come to think about it, this is the correct place to air a 'special episode' of BL. This is where the show started (in the old The Practice time slot) before it was booted to Tuesday nights by some small show named Blue's Anatomy, or Grey's Body Parts, or something like that. I wonder if that show went anywhere?

Anywhoswhatsit, in this episode we see the return of Lincoln Meyer, a fight between Jeffrey Coho and Brad Chase and the results of Denny Crane's paternity test. Oh, and we also have another appearance of a character that's beginning to get a bit tiresome. So, if the jury will be seated, we can begin the proceedings.

(S03E07) You're not getting in this dress. -- Alan Shore, dressed like one of the Lennon sisters, to Denny Crane, also dressed like a Lennon sister. Don't ask.

After last week's intense, and somewhat oogy, episode of Boston Legal, we get a palette cleanser of sorts this week as some storylines are closed and others are opened. It was also an extremely subdued episode. Even bombastic characters like Alan Shore and Denny Crane were unusually quiet this time around. It was so calm that I almost fell asleep halfway through the episode. Oh, that wasn't because the show was boring. It was more a result of traipsing out with the kiddies for a marathon trick-or-treating session.

Let's move along now, shall we?

(S03E06) Ewwwww! If you watched this week's episode of Boston Legal, then you absolutely know what I'm talking about. If you haven't watched it yet, well, let's just say the reaction is from something that happened at the end of Scott Little's trial. I'll reveal it at the end of the post. So, beware the spoiler alert!

Before we continue with Jeffrey Coho and the trial of Scott Little, I want to talk about the subplot of this week's show, which involved Alan Shore's feelings of sexual insecurity with Sally Heep (guest star Lake Bell). It had absolutely, totally no redeeming value to this week's episode. It just seemed to be filler to what the meat of the episode was about. If they had nothing better than that to fill the remaining time on the show, then they should have taken the subplot out and focused on the secondary characters. Being a fan of the show, and a fan of James Spader's Alan Shore, I was disappointed with the whole thing.

Now that I have that out of the way, let's talk about the trial.

(S03E05) Yes, I know, I'll get letters -- Alan Shore after bashing Freedom of Religion in his closing arguments.

I begin this week with a quote by attorney Claire Simms, played by Constance Zimmer . . . 'Ick, and double ick'. This nicely sums up the surprise revelation made during the Scott Little trial. It seems that Scott's dad found the young lad, um, spanking the weasel (that's the scientific term, look it up!) to a naked picture of his mother. And, it turns out that he judge who he had an affair with and then allegedly murdered.had a uncanny resemblance to mother Barbara Little.

As mentioned, ick and double ick.

(S03E04) What? Haven't you ever seen a smoking dwarf before?

Gosh, its been awhile since we've seen Alan Shore in the courtroom. Oh, we had a brief appearance of him during the first episode of the season, but he's been pretty quiet since, making room for some of the new people as well as a number of prominent guest stars. So, it was good to see him, along with his 'dreamgirl' Shirley, take on the case of a homeless man charged with cannabilism.

You would think this would be played out for laughs. Oh, there was some humor to it, but it was actually one of the more serious cases in this episode. And Alan took to it with gusto. We even got to see one of his patened closing arguments (his niche, as Shirley would say). In the end, the client wasn't treated as some crazed man, but someone with more dignity than the District Attorney who was prosecuting him.

Oh, that would be District Attorney 'Second Line on the Ballot Come This November' Ginsburg, according to Alan.

(S03E03) Okay, after watching the first five minutes of this week's Boston Legal I have come to the conclusion that Jeffrey Coho is definitely the new Alan Shore, or at least his younger-looking identical twin. I came to this decision after the very first scene where he confronts Judge Brian Hooper, whose wife was shown murdered last episode. His inflections, his syntax, even his mannerisms all feel like Alan's. Not complaining, mind you, since Alan's tactics have, for lack of a better word, matured over the last three seasons. So, another maverick is welcome at Crane, Poole and Schmidt.

All right, let's move forward to murder, postnuptials, and The Badger.

(S03E02) Oh please, if there were new guys they'd have shown up in the season premiere. -- Denny Crane

God bless William Shatner! In his role as Denny Crane he is a man of few words, and the words he does say would make Michael Scott of The Office cringe in embarrassment. However, what he lacks in verbiage he makes up in expressions. Denny can carry a whole conversation with one of his stares. And, he does alot of staring this episode, which could probably be considered the actual start of Boston Legal's third season.

So, since I can't stare at you through the computer screen, let's push on with this week's review.

(S03E01) Denny Crane.

If you haven't heard William Shatner utter those two little words to anyone and everyone on ABC's Boston Legal, then you are certainly missing out. Because, out of all of television acting gigs, even including Star Trek, this is one of his finest performances. And, why shouldn't it be, when he has stars such as Candice Bergen and James Spader, as well as creator David E. Kelly, to work with.

Well, not the real Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager, because that would be just silly. I mean, do you know the financial costs of traveling back in time from the 24th century? They're astronomical! Plus, if she manipulates the time stream we could all be living under the iron thumb of . . . gulp . . . Canada!

No, I'm talking about Jeri Ryan, who appeared as Seven of Nine, and recently worked with David E. Kelley, creator of ABC's Boston Legal, on the FOX series Boston Public. Ryan will be appearing in the two-hour season finale of Boston Legal that will air on May 16th. She will appear as host of a fictional reality series who is charged with attempted murder after shooting at a member of the paparazzi that was stalking her.

Parker Posey, probably best known for her roles in the trio of Christopher Guest mockumentaries, is set to star in three episodes of Boston Legal near the end of this season. Parker will star as a lawyer named Marlene Stanger. She's dead-set on becoming a partner and because of her determination, she's earned the nickname of "The Squid."

I don't watch this show nearly enough. I caught the episodes that Michael J. Fox did a few months ago and they were very good. I also wrote about the possibility that Denny Crane may be having a bit of, uh, a "preference switch" sometime this season. But I haven't seen anything on that since and this is the first Boston Legal news I've read in sometime. Has anyone heard something?

[via Zap2It]

Now this is just complete speculation, but The WOW Report is reporting (go figure, huh?) that William Shatner's Boston Legal persona Denny Crane may start playing for the other team in an upcoming episode.

Crane's love-interest switcheroo (for those who've seen even five minutes of the show know that he's the stereotypical man's man) may last an episode or two... or even the rest of the season according to WOW. This has a lot of "laugh out loud" potential, but I'll believe it when I start reading it on more websites. Or better yet, in an interview with Shatner. Denny Crane gay? Not sure I can see it, but I'm really hoping this turns out to have some validity.

[Thanks to Martha over at Cinematical for the tip.]