So the Emmys are coming up on Sunday. I know, you're so excited you've probably already put a reservation sign on your couch and stocked up on microwave popcorn. (Um, that was sarcasm... It can be hard to get that across on the 'net sometimes.) The truth is, the Emmys are the most boring major awards show -- and that is saying something.

It shouldn't be this way. I like TV so much more than movies that there is no comparison, and unlike with the Academy Awards and the Golden Globes, I've usually seen pretty much everything that gets nominated for an award, so I should be more invested. (My regular readers know I definitely don't lack for an opinion.) But the Emmys are so repetitive it's hard to get excited. And of course, the repetition is a function of how television is different from film.

TV is built to last, and the Academy voters seem to reward shows for sticking around. Why not? Great writing, great acting and great stories year after year are what make long-running television great. Unfortunately, it also has the side effect of making the Emmys really boring.

The TV is a weird beast. Your show can have ridiculously high ratings, receive greater critical claim than the Mona Lisa and achieve a cult following not seen since the People's Temple, and the network can still pull the plug on you.

TV Land doesn't work like Reality Land, if the Reality Land is in fact reality and not some bizarre reality land where meat-hungry producers are the gods of fate. TV has a different equation for success.

Here are the ten telltale signs that your new show will spend eternity shining in the pantheon of the cosmos and the rest of its life on Best Buy's DVD shelves.

(S08E11) With no dance off, the results show lost most of my motivation. The fluff factor of the cheesy dances was in high effect. The episode was surprisingly sexual: Samantha couldn't keep a straight face interviewing Lawrence about Edyta's lack of clothes, Chuck said some double entendre involving Bruno, Shawn and Melissa considered putting their partners in very little clothing, and Steve-O used the word "Man-struate."

Luckily for America, the show created one of the best drinking games. It has nothing to do with scores, clothes, or Samantha Harris saying something stupid. More information after the jump.

Really brief podcast this week – as the fans know, last Sunday's episode was a re-run – but you can still download the episode directly (here).

More importantly, it's time to announce the winner of our Drinking Game Contest. And the TV Squad t-shirt goes to ... Diana, whose drinking game went like this:

"I think only Tequila should be used, since it is Meredith's weapon of choice.

I think everyone should be required to drink one shot when:

-the word Seriously is used.
-Derek is on his Sidekick or whatever he's carrying around this season
-They're all gathered eating or in the basement talking
-Bailey says something funny
-Christina gives someone the 'you're an idiot' look Sandra Oh does so brilliantly

I don't think double shots should be required, cause you wanna actually make it through the show, but:

The bottle should be finished whenever Addison makes her exit, and/or when Derek/Meredith finally have sex again."

Diana, please contact us with your size and address, and we'll send the shirt right out to you.

Next week's podcast is up in the air right now, as Kat will be on vacation. We're going to try to do it over Skype, but if that doesn't pan out, we will return the following week with a double episode – and a report on how Diana's game works in practice. See you then!

Last Sunday's episode of Grey's Anatomy was all about karma, and it left us podcasters wondering what *we* had done to deserve such torture. I'm not sure if Kat and I were just in a really bad mood, or what, but we were not happy with this episode – and our podcast producer had to work overtime on the bleep button in order to mask our (well, mostly my) discontent. Listen here, and if you so desire, argue with us in the comments. Also, Grey's drinking game contestants will want to listen all the way through, because we announce the deadline for our contest. And keep in mind, there will be no episode or podcast next week – it's getting preempted for a little show called the Oscars.

You can listen to this episode directly (link), subscribe to our podcast RSS feed (link), or visit the iTunes music store (link). Enjoy!

NBC has created a game on its website to go along with the live telecast of the Golden Globes, which air on Monday night (8-11 pm EST). It will feature a film and television trivia game that parallels whatever is happening on the Globes. It looks like the website is also going to have polls up as each category is announced so the internet can vote for who it wants to be Best Actress or whatever, and the results will appear in real-time up until the winner is announced. I think it would be interesting to see who people are hoping will win each category, compared to who actually wins.

You know what the website needs, that it doesn't have? A Golden Globes drinking game. Somebody kisses Jack Nicholson's ass? Take a drink! Someone does an impression of Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah's couch? Drink! Scripted, playful banter between presenters falls flat? Drink up!