There's some debate about who the current "Fastest Man Alive" is. Some people say it's Usain Bolt; some people say it's Tyson Gay. ... But at any rate, Tyson Gay is no worse than the second fastest man on the face of the Earth. And now, Shaquille O'Neal must beat him in a race.

'Shaq Vs.' (Tue., 9PM ET on ABC) is a show where O'Neal takes on the top athletes in he world, challenging them in their own sports. Tonight's match-up: Shaq versus Tyson. The pair run a 60 meter race; except that Shaq gets a 30 meter head start. Hey! That isn't exactly cool! So O'Neal only has to run half as far as Gay?

Will the world's (possibly) fastest man win, even if he has to run twice as far as Shaq? Let's watch and see. And no matter who wins, is this even a fair contest for either athlete?

It has become a cliche to say "I watch the Super Bowl just for the ads," but I really do. I have no interest in football at all (even less this year because the Patriots aren't in it - the only reason I would have to even be a little interested in the game is if the team from my area was in it), so I really do look forward to seeing and reviewing the ads. Too bad the Super Bowl ads aren't what they used to be (except for that Letterman/Leno/Oprah ad ... wow).

This year I'm picking the seven worst ads, while Kona is handling the seven best. Two rules for my worst: no movie ads (they're in a category all by themselves and shouldn't be judged with the other ads), and I tried not to pick any commercials that aired before today.