editorial

Andy Rooney is 90 years old, and has spent the greater half of the twentieth century (and well into the twenty-first) providing political and cultural insight to the masses through op-eds in both print and on CBS newsmagazine staple 60 Minutes. Despite remaining America's favorite most recognizable curmudgeon, Rooney's weekly diatribes have grown increasingly stale, and significantly more bizarre with each episode.

Any semblance of lucidity Rooney may have employed in ... I guess (?) what was once considered clever or funny or - at the very least - entertaining material has most assuredly fallen to the wayside. The scraps with which we've been left are, indeed, entertaining, but not for the reasons Rooney (or the producers of 60 Minutes) probably intended.

Variations of this story may have wound up in your inbox at some point, but if you don't feel like reading the whole sappy piece, I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version: a man in an airport cheers along with a crowd of people as soldiers in camouflage walk through the airport. A little girl asks one of the soldiers to give something to her daddy, and kisses him on the cheek. The soldiers pretend to contact the girl's father via walkie talkie and then the soldier kisses the girl and tells her it's from her father.

It's a sweet story, though its veracity is questionable. What makes it ripe for satire isn't necessarily the story itself, but the way it's told, from the perspective of a person who wants everyone to know how he also stopped to clap for these brave men. Even if he's not essential to the story, he will make himself essential, god damn it.

Comedian H. Jon Benjamin, who has provided voices for many cartoons including Dr. Katz, Home Movies and Freak Show, gives his own take on the story in this editorial for Junkiness. It's full of dry Benjamin-y goodness. Enjoy.

[via CC Insider]