episode reviews

(S02E01) Great. Now I'm gonna be picturing Ted as "Aquated" for the next few days. (Surprise! He looks good in aquatights!)

Phil and Lem's hilarious superhero fantasy was only a tiny throwaway gag in a premiere full of wonderfully weird moments and plotlines. There was Ted's fake obsession with Utah, Veronica's real obsession with Utah, and Taye Diggs' obsession with dressing up like a bear and terrorizing innocent park dwellers. What's say we start off by discussing that last one?

At this point, I'm convinced that Diggs' contract with ABC says that he gets to appear on all of the network's shows. (I can't wait to see him on General Hospital.) I'm not complaining, though. The guy really knows how to deliver the funny (and the crazy). At first I thought his character was going to end up being Ted's bland and handsome rival for Linda's affections. Thankfully, the writers had something far more insane in mind. Hearing Diggs confess his secret to Linda – on their first date! – reminded me of why I love this show so much: It's just so damn bizarre! But Better Off Ted rarely feels like it's actually trying to be weird. Like Diggs, the show makes crazy look easy.

(S01E09) There was a lot going on in this episode, as the folks aboard Destiny started to adjust to their new lives away from Earth. The adjustment, of course, is easier for some than it is for others.

Chloe has made new friends like Eli and has found a partner in Scott, who comforts her and makes her feel less lonely. So she's content to pass the time doing yoga on the observation deck. People like Young, Rush and Eli are busy exploring the ship and trying to unlock its hidden wonders. That at least keeps them occupied and somewhat hopeful.

But things aren't nearly as happy-go-lucky for people like Spencer (aka "Baldy"). He's running out of his medication (my guess is that he's taking anti-psychotics, or is that too obvious?) and it seems like only a matter of time before he kills someone, or kills himself.

(S09E03) Who knew the Smallville zombie episode would turn out to be such a bummer? Our heroes did nothing but whine, brood, and talk about their lonely lives while the almost undead were chompin' on people's limbs.

Where were the fun Grindhouse-style action sequences with the good guys firing sawed-off shotguns and revving up chainsaws? Where were the decapitations? And where were the jokes? You'd think a show about Superman fighting zombies would have plenty of jokes.

I understand that every piece of zombie art can't be as fun and clever as Zombieland, or as gloriously gory as 28 Days Later, but I was hoping for something a little more off the wall here.

(S01E13) It took a while, but Warehouse 13 finally broke away from the stale case-of-the-week episodes (and the stale dialogue) to become the summer's most amusing slice of sci-fi TV. The shift happened a few weeks ago when Roger Rees' smug and sadistic baddie, Macpherson, showed up to make trouble for the team.

Macpherson turned out to be the big bad Warehouse 13 was missing all along. He was an ex-Warehouse agent with a vendetta against Artie and the regents. His evil plots forced Artie and the agents to bond and trust each other, and they also gave the show a real sense of danger and purpose. Oh, and Macpherson also gave us Claudia and Leena, apparently.

Macpherson returned to twist the knife one more time in a season finale packed with surprises, red herrings, and a few insane artifacts (Timothy Leary's psychedelic glasses? That was a good one.)

(S01E08) Warehouse 13 finally delivered an insane episode worthy of the show's strange and ridiculous premise. Steve Rubel's bewitched disco ball mated with Lewis Carroll's magic mirror to make Myka switch places with Carol's "Alice," who turned out to be a really creepy serial killer. Now this is the kind of stuff I wanna see.

If you ask Syfy's marketing folks, tonight's ep was all about the guest stars, Eureka's Erica Cerra and Niall Matter. They were serviceable as married grifters addicted to a cool little artifact, but they were pushed to the background just like Tricia Helfer and Joe Flanigan before them. "Duped" was really all about watching the Warehouse team do some much-needed bonding (and bringing the weirdness and the screwball comedy elements to the forefront, of course).

Thank God for Eddie McClintock and Joanne Kelly. Warehouse 13's two appealing leads add a certain spark to their characters that clearly isn't on the page. It takes talented actors to brighten up a show that's unfortunately hog-tied by trite dialogue and boring mysteries of the week. Same goes for Saul Rubinek and new cast member Allison Scagliotti-Smith. These two have a great chemistry that helps liven up the show's never-ending exposition scenes. The great cast is the best thing about Warehouse 13, and it's probably the only reason I'm tuning in every week.

This week, Pete and Myka discovered the dead body of a former Warehouse agent. The agent's life was drained by a parasitic artifact that jumped from host to host feeding on human aggression. The artifact apparently was a metaphor for the Warehouse itself. It takes and takes until you have nothing left to give, another former agent, Rebecca, told Myka in the closing scene. Rebecca's warning to Myka brought up a number of questions I've had since the show's premiere: Who is controlling the Warehouse? Are they baddies or good guys? What is the ultimate plan for Pete and Myka?

OK folks, let's pull ourselves together now. Yes, this was Torchwood's darkest hour, but tonight is ass-kicking time, right? Right?

Honestly, I'm not really sure how it's all gonna end, but that's what I'm loving about Children of Earth. The miniseries has kept me guessing from the start, and it's kept me on the edge of my seat all week with damn fine storytelling and some great performances. (Please, Internet, tell me a full season order is in the can for next year!)

They're here.

Species 456 finally touched down on Earth to scare the crap out of civil servant John Frobisher -- and this reviewer -- in the third suspenseful hour of Torchwood: Children of Earth.

Day two was an action-packed thrill ride from start to finish, but day three (scripted by Russell T Davies and James Moran) was the most intense episode of the miniseries so far. For the second time this week,Torchwood had me on the edge of my seat with some truly chilling moments. But before things got too creepy, there was some fun to be had with the team getting back together, finding a new Hub, and lifting a few credit cards and laptops from unsuspecting Londoners.

Captain Jack is back, and Torchwood is facing its biggest threat yet: An alien assault on the world's children.

The first hour of Children of Earth was a great set-up for what promises to be an epic story for the Doctor Who spinoff. The epic feel, with the helicopter shots and the grandiose music, surprisingly suits Torchwood, a show known for its balance of intimate character moments and goofy B-movie tropes. The camaraderie between the characters is still there, and so is the goofiness, as evidenced by the fun early scene with Jack and Ianto extracting the "hitchhiker" from their "neighbor."

The main plot --- with the children stopping and screaming (creepy) and then chanting a warning (creepier) to the people of Earth – didn't overwhelm hour one. The real meat here was in the surprising character revelations. I like that the impending alien invasion gave our trio a reason to reflect on their roots and ponder their future. Ianto, Gwen and Jack had some great moments away from Torchwood central.

I really wanted to love Warehouse 13. It's a fun show with two compelling leads, an adventurous spirit, and just enough subversive stuff seemingly bubbling beneath its surface. But the two-hour pilot, airing tonight on SyFy, only hints at the greatness we've seen from its creator's previous work. The premiere, scripted by Jane Espenson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and original writer Rockne S. O'Bannon (Farscape), begins with a strong quirky heartbeat, but a stale mystery plot quickly slows the pulse.

(S03E21) "Liz Lemmon, I may hug people too hard and get lost at malls, but I'm not an idiot" - Tracy Jordan

Maybe Jack Donaghy is right. More family does mean more aggravation. The search for Jack's real dad yielded a plot based on Mama Mia (apparently, I've never seen it, and I'm pretty sure I'll die that way) and an appearance by TV's most recognizable liberal – Alan Alda.

Don't get me wrong. I love Alan Alda. I was looking forward to seeing him on the show. He was great. But imagine ultra-conservative Jack's heartache when he found out that Hawkeye Pierce was his dad. The look on Jack's face when Alda stormed out of his office and cursed in Yiddish said it all. And I'm pretty sure Jack never imagined himself living out the plot of an Abba musical. Liz Lemon seemed pretty excited about it, though.

(S01E02) Like I wrote last week, the success of Cupid 2.0 will hinge heavily on the guest stars. Luckily, this week's guest stars were great.

Erik Palladino and Julie Ann Emery (as Mick and Riley) gave me the warm fuzzies as Cupid's latest couple of the week. I enjoyed their chemistry so much that I was able to forgive the stock "surprise twist" that reared its witless head in the third act.

(S01E01) Call me a hopeless romantic, but I was charmed by the series premiere of Cupid 2.0.

ABC's original Cupid from 10 years ago, also headed up by executive producer Rob Thomas, was a smart, playful and quirky hour of television that looked and felt like nothing else on the air at the time. ABC's promos for Thomas' remake made this new show look silly and the quirkiness look forced. Thankfully, that's not the case – for the most part.

Bobby Cannavale plays Trevor (played by Jeremy Piven in the original), a New York City bartender who claims he's Cupid, the god of romantic love. Expelled from Olympus, he's given the task of bringing one hundred couples together here on Earth. Trevor goes about his plan under the watchful eye of Sarah Paulson's Dr. Claire McCrae (Claire Allen in the original), a psychiatrist and best-selling self-help book author assigned to monitor Trevor's release from a psychiatric hospital.

John Connor finally earned my respect. Did he earn yours?

This episode might have started out telling Jesse's story, but it was really about John and why he's destined to become the savior of humanity. Jesse has been scheming all season to turn John against Cameron and trusting reprogrammed "metal." Mistakenly, she assumed that John's decision to employ Terminators in the resistance was influenced by an emotional attachment he had to the machines.

(S02E18) Viewers, come back! The water is safe. The "Sad Sarah" storyline is officially over, and The Sarah Connor Chronicles has found its groove once again. Last week, we said goodbye to Sarah's depressing head-trip with an engaging episode that ended with a shocker (well, I was shocked anyway). This week, John, Sarah, Derek and Ellison struggled to answer that eternal Terminator question: Can metal be trusted?