(S06E04) The episode opens with Ryan Seacrest in Times Square, in the "city that never sleeps." So it's appropriate that the song "All Night Long" becomes sorta of tonight's theme. Later, a bunch of rejects (including an astronaut, a Dorothy in drag, and a geeky Asian) will perform the Lionel Richie hit in an edited medley/montage. Also, in adhering to this theme, our judges reportedly were out all night long between Day One and Day Two, causing Simon Cowell to be AWOL for all of the morning's auditions the next day.

However, half way through tonight's bloated two-hour episode, I begin to feel as if I've been held captive "All Night Long." Somebody fast forward to the good stuff. I want to go to sleep. Make it stop. To quote a different Simon (Paul Simon) -- "I don't find this stuff amusing anymore."

(S06E03) We're in Memphis, Tennessee -- home of Al Green, B.B. King, and the one-and-only Elvis Presley. This week, 16,000 people turned up, all convinced that they've got what it takes to be the next American Idol. But only 22 of them earn a golden ticket to Hollywood, meaning that searching for an American Idol is a lot like looking for a needle in a freaking (or freaky) haystack.

Luckily this week's auditions aren't nearly as bizarre as last week's, and the judges' comments aren't quite so cruel (or maybe I've just become desensitized to it). But there's still more "bad" auditions shown than "good." And as expected, Simon "I'm-just-being-honest" Cowell is as cranky and rude as ever, especially towards an over-zealous cheerleader who brought his squad as back-up. But there's some amazingly positive comments too -- from Simon, of all people.