eva longoria

Look, I think that Eva Longoria Parker is hot just like every other guy, but I think she's completely out of line in the new Heineken ad (after the jump).

Two guys get an upgrade to courtside seats, and when they sit down, they're given two Heineken Light beers by the server. Immediately, Longoria Parker, sitting next to them, asks if she can have one of the beers.

(S05E22) Those of you tired of Tom's mid-life crisis, raise your hand! I'm sure we are a lot of people with one hand raised right now. I know that a lot of men go through it and that it can last really long in real life, but on TV, can we not have Tom go through his mid-life crisis for an entire year?! A few of you mentioned in comments last week how Tom was getting annoying and that he needed new storylines or else. Will Tom find his way before the season ends?

(S05E21) "This is going to come out of nowhere but ..." - Jackson to Susan

As you know, actor Gale Harold, who plays Jackson, had a terrible accident last fall and had to be written out of the show so that the actor could recover from his injuries. The writers decided to have Jackson get a job outside of town. Except for learning that Jackson asked Susan to move away with him, we haven't heard much from the character and his relationship with Susan since then. My brain doesn't recall Susan clearly stating that things were over between Jackson and her, and we haven't seen her date since Jackson skipped town. Therefore, I've sort of been thinking they were doing the long-distance thing or still wondering where things stood between them.

When the actor got back in shape and was able to return to the set, the writers wrote him back in, and this week's episode marked his unexpected return. Jackson arrived with a question, helped give us answers as to where his relationship with Susan stood, and gave Dave a good reason to be scared.

(S05E20) "Everything that ever mattered to me is gone." - Dave

Now that Edie's ashes have been spread out over the Housewives' lawns, the Wisteria Lane residents went back to their normal lives, which means awkward situations, lies, revelations, secrets, more lies, and Dave's mysterious and deadly plan.

(S05E19) "I died just like I lived, as the complete, utter center of attention." - dead Edie

It's no secret anymore. Nicolette Sheridan is leaving Desperate Housewives, and this was her last episode as a series regular. Even if most major websites, newspapers, and magazines warned us in early February that the actress was exiting the show, some fans were still holding out hope that the news was untrue, as it wasn't the first time we heard a rumor about Sheridan leaving. Those fans must now come to terms with the fact that the sexy, perceptive, strong, beautiful, and one-of-a-kind Edie is now gone. If you ask Lynette, she would tell you that Edie looks like cat litter right now.

One thing is for sure, Edie/Nicolette went out with a bang with what may be the second best episode of the season (my favorite being the 100th episode featuring Beau Bridges).

(S05E18) "There is nothing simple about murder." - Mary Alice Young

There you have it people, not only Dave's plan finally entered its final phase but a much talked about event took place at the very end of this week's Desperate Housewives. What surprised me is that the final scene happened this week. Quite frankly, I expected it in late April to set the tone for the final episodes to be aired in May. Then again, looking at DH's airing schedule just now, leaving with a cliffhanger (even if the world already knows how it will end) when the next episode is weeks away -- April 19 to be precise, makes sense. In a way, the big event will conclude near the end of April and set the tone to the May episodes just as I first thought.

(S05E17) "If he ever lost you, it would destroy him." - Dave to Katherine about Mike

Dave's storyline wasn't the main attraction this week, but it's still the storyline that interests me the most. Dave's plan hit a speed bump while Edie learned more about who her husband really is.

The other storylines were entertaining but not new, since Gaby once again tricked people to get what she wanted, Bree tried to keep appearances up while Susan ended up in a sticky situation.

(S05E16) "He believed in punishing those who weren't [polite]." - Mary Alice about Orson

After almost a month off, Desperate Housewives is back to continue the storylines that started to take shape before the hiatus: Mike moving in with Katherine, Tom and Lynette selling the restaurant, Orson starting to steal small objects, Gaby and Brad blackmailing one another, Edie trying to learn more about her husband.

Let's say it upfront, this was not the best DH episode to date. It was what we call a "filler" episode in which nothing huge happens. Okay, that final scene was a killer and what the priest said to Edie helped pushed things along Dave-wise but besides those two events, the episode was not that much interesting, including the Lynette and Tom face-off.

Did you know that double Oscar winners Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro acted in soap operas? It's true. Many of today's biggest stars honed their craft by doing New York soaps like As the World Turns and Another World. Before she was Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Sarah Michelle Gellar was Susan Lucci's daughter on All My Children.

Hollywood soaps like Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, and The Young and the Restless also produced stars. Tom Selleck, for instance, was a Y&R hunk before becoming Magnum, P.I. There are a lot of current stars right now on hit shows who were daytime characters just a few years ago. After the jump, we count down the top ten primetime stars who started in soaps.

(S05E15) "Camping? Have you met me?" - Edie to Dave

Most of the storylines this week were a continuation of what started to unfold last week: the Scavos had to ponder selling the restaurant; Bree continued spending big bucks; Susan continued to act like a child; and Gaby wanted money and went back to her old self to get it. The way the storylines unfolded was not that entertaining. However, each had a twist that could have major repercussions in the coming weeks.

The storyline that got the least air time this week was that of Dave and Edie. Yet, I think it was the most interesting because it showed us that Dave's revenge plan is now entering the last phase.

(S05E14) "We can no longer afford Tom's mid-life crisis." - Lynette

The financial crisis hit Wisteria Lane this week: the Scavos had to sell Tom's car and accept an investment from Bree; Mike had to work extra shifts to help take care of his son; Susan had to get a new job with regular hours to help pay for MJ's tuition; and the show had to resort to ad placement (Sprint, Lexus) to make ends meet! And since it's Desperate Housewives we are talking about here, the financial crisis was tackled with humor and some bitchiness.

(S05E13) TV shows always try to offer us big episodes when they hit milestones such as their 100th episode. Some totally miss the mark while others offer us an amazing episode that ends up being one of the best in the series. Desperate Housewives' cast and crew can give themselves a pat on the back because they are of the latter group.

"The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened" may not have pushed forward the current storylines, but it brought us down memory lane while offering tidbits we didn't know about the main housewives. It also allowed us to see a few old faces such as Rex, Mrs Gruber, Yao Lin and Mary Alice.

(S05E12) Can I say how glad I am that this show has finally deigned to confirm Dave's motives? As soon as it was revealed at the beginning of the season that he was just hiding out on Wisteria Lane so he could exact revenge on the person who ruined his life, I knew that it was his wife and daughter that died in the car accident. I don't think my skills of deduction are any better than anyone else's, so the fact that it took 12 episodes to officially say, "yes, this is Dave's plan," is just kind of annoying.

Now that we're done with the charade, I'm excited. I feel like we can really get to the business of what the revenge will entail, which is what I'm here for.

(S05E11) "No one's better at plastering a fake smile and pretending to like someone than Bree Hodge." - Orson

Our favorite desperate characters are back! Sadly, not with a vengeance. But still, you have to admit they were entertaining this week. My favorite scenes were definitely those with Susan and Lee and those with Bree and Delina. But before we get to why these scenes were my favs, let's deal with the ongoing mystery: Dave Williams... err... David Dash.

(S05E10) "I'll be with you soon." - Dave

I must admit that I didn't expected the episode to end the way it ended. Oh, I'm not talking about the actual reveal, which I'll talk about after the jump. I'm talking about the fact the last new Desperate Housewives episode before the holidays actually didn't end with a huge cliffhanger (there are a few loose ends and questions but nothing that will prevent me from sleeping until January) and, instead, offered us some answers. Yes, actual answers. Let's talk about them, shall we?