"Rustbelt Midwest Swing State F@#kfest": Taking a break from talking about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, Jon Stewart took on two other Democrats. This time, the targets were Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann and Detroit's Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and their wacky sex scandals. We saw that these folks' sexual escapades (sexcapades?) were mild compared to the Eliot Spitzer-esque craziness we have grown accustomed to, once again proving that Midwest states are the land of "under the shirt, over the bra" scandals.

"Indecision 2008": Contrary to popular belief, "Reagan-Off" is not a delicious cousin of "stroganoff". Too lame even for me? Sorry then. More than ever, the Repubican candidates are doing their best to emphasize their connections and similarities to Ronald Reagan. The joke about Giluiani's 911 points was wonderful, as was the elaborate "truck" crossword giddiness. Did I miss the reason why Barack Obama was on the cover of the GOP comedy album? Is it because I might be an Islamo-Fascist?

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"Clusterfuck to the White House": Hillary Clinton has a new campaign song, and she revealed it in a Sopranos parody. Y'know, the joke would make a lot more sense if the song was Journey's "Don't Stop Believing", but it's actually Celine Dion's "You and I". And did Olivia Newton-John's lawyers really contact The Daily Show about airing that goofy "Let's Get Hillary" snippet? If so, that's ridiculous, and I'm never watching Xanadu again.

"May or May Not": New York's Mayor Bloomberg said bye-bye to the Republican party and hello to the Independent folk, prompting rumors of his candidacy. For the record, I would totally vote for zombie Lincoln, even if he ran against Fred Thompson.

In a March 21 press conference, Bush was questioned about possible staff changes. Bush respondend, "I'm satisfied with the people I've surrounded myself with. We've been a remarkably stable administration, and I think that's good for the country." Definitely. But he never mentioned which country. Anyway, less than a week after this conference, Bush announced the resignation of Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff.