flab

(S04E01) Three years ago, I was asked to perform stand-up comedy at my high school reunion. I wasn't a full-time professional yet, but I was getting close; I figured I would go in there and kill. I imagined all the girls who didn't find me attractive in high school (which was, uh, all the girls) would instantly swoon for me and I'd get some measure of closure on what was a very disappointing chapter in my life. Of course, I tanked. Badly. The people at my reunion couldn't have been less interested in what I had to say if I was trying to sell them timeshares. I spent the rest of the night mixing cold medication and hard liquor, trying to find a combination that wouldn't shut down my liver but would help me forget how poorly I performed that night.

I never thought I'd regret a decision more than my accepting that high school reunion gig. Now, three years later, I've finally found a decision I regret more: accepting the assignment to review TV Land's new reality show, High School Reunion.