TV Squad readers are a diverse bunch, coming from different backgrounds, cultures and tastes. There is one thing that unites us all, however: we loves to party. That's why I invite all of you to play this crazy game I just invented called "Geraldo/O'Reilly, Yosemite Sam, Tasmanian Devil or Screaming Baby?"
Here's how to play:
Have one person play each of the following video clips for two seconds, and then have a group of blindfolded players try to guess if they're listening to an argument between Geraldo Rivera and Bill O'Reilly, Yosemite Sam losing his temper, the Tasmanian Devil spazzing out, or a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
Today, we look at baseball, which I know absolutely nothing about. In fact, here's a true exchange that took place on my first day of summer youth baseball:
Coach: Adam, you take right field.
Me: What's right field?
Here's just a small sample of what I've learned about this great sport, thanks to TV:
Picture This Television, the production team behind Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List and Celebrity Poker Showdown is creating a new game show for Bravo called Paycheck. The game show pits seven contestants against one another to try and figure out how much money they each make. The players must guess with the aid of questions, clues, and just plain, well, guessing. The person who guesses the correct salaries of all the players wins $25,000.
The whole "try to guess something about someone" idea sounds awfully close to Identity, and that game show isn't exactly the most compelling one on TV right now. Still, Celebrity Poker Showdown isn't a bad show, so maybe the folks behind this one have a way to make it more exciting than it sounds. Bravo has placed an order for the game show pilot.
As you may or may not know, I have been on many game shows. I won $40,000 on Greed. I won a car, seven televisions and a buttload of other stuff on TV Land's Ultimate Fan Search. I won over a grand on To Tell The Truth and of course, I was on every episode of Beat the Geeks. Suffice it to say, I have plenty of experience with this game we call show. Recently Joel Keller wrote a piece chock full of information on where to apply to be on a gameshow, and while this information is certainly helpful, you should know that it's only the beginning. There are a multitude of Do's and Dont's to remember.
Let's start with the Do's...
I used to play this game with myself when I was bored where I would try to create "chains" by linking names and phrases together. For example, I might morph "I'm A Little Teapot" and the "Teapot Dome Scandal" into "I'm A Little Teapot Dome Scandal."
Now, someone needs to jog my memory because I know there's an actual game that also became a short-lived game show based on this same idea. While I wait for someone to remind me what that was called*, I've created another game for y'all to play. Just like my last two games, you won't win anything, but I think this one is a little more challenging that my last two.
I've written plot descriptions for twenty-one series below. Here's an example:
Okay, so I was in the mood to create another fun TV game for y'all like I did with my "TV opposites" game, so here it is.
Below you will find altered lyric samples from TV themes that more or less mean the same thing as the original lyrics. For example, if I wrote:
One takes that which is affirmative, and also that which is negative
and puts these two opposing forces together
in conclusion, the result is the truth of all existence
Now, this isn't the best 'which character are you' game out there. It's pretty obvious by the options which one will make you Shake and which one will make you Meatwad. Still, it's a way to kill five minutes (ten, if you're a slow reader).
I was expecting to be Frylock but I ended up being Carl. Yep, Carl. The hairy, stupid neighbor with a cool car. I went very wrong somewhere.
Duane Wade is the new hotness, and we all know it. Charles Barkley however thinks he is still the junk after so many years. If only he knew he was actually old and busted. I guess waitresses have a way of letting you know. Duane offers to have Barkley in his fave five (from T-Mobile) and Barkley just thinks he's being a young kid who thinks he's all that, when really it is the way other around.
The waitress asks if Barkley is Wade's dad, which doesn't make Charles all that happy. This ad made me laugh. It seems that someone is always getting the better of Barkley in some fashion, even all the way back to an ad I saw when Charles complains "he broke my coffee cup." At least he is still making money doing ads.
I don't know why, but my last two requests for readers to purchase toys for me have not resulted in hundreds of you scurrying to your wallets to buy said products. Was it something I said? Is it because I stood your sisters up at prom? You try buying two hundred and thirty-eight corsages and renting all those limos. It's not easy.
Anyway, here goes request number three: I want this freakin' sweet Family Guy pinball game. Oh, sweet crunchy Jesus, I do so want that pinball game. The pinball game includes figures of all six of the Griffin family members, a Stewie Griffin mini-pinball game, a Pawtucket Patriot Ale can with a little Brian figure on top, and all new voices recorded just for the game by series creator and voice actor Seth MacFarlane. Also, this pinball machine will make the owner the envy of all men, and the object of desire for all women.
[via Planet Family Guy]
This is a variation of a word game I sometimes play with my friends. Below I've listed a bunch of television shows, but instead of writing the actual name of the show, I've written the show's "opposite." I put "opposite" in quotations because obviously not all words have exact opposites, so I have to be clever sometimes and just come up with something that kind of fits. This makes it fun. Here are some examples:
The "opposite" of Taxi might be Bus.
The "opposite" of Everybody Hates Chris might be Nobody Loves Christie.
The "opposite" of General Hospital might be Specific Clinic.
The list is after the jump. See how many you can guess. You won't win anything, just bragging rights and a cameo appearance in my next sexual fantasy. Onward:
UPDATE: Congrats to everyone who has guessed correctly so far. There are still a few left, so crank up your brains, puzzle masters.
SECOND UPDATE: One more left.
THIRD UPDATE: They've all been guessed. Good job, everyone.
South Park and World of Warcraft fans surely remember the "Sword of a Thousand Truths" from the episode "Make Love, not Warcraft." It was the secret weapon that allowed the boys to finally defeat the diabolic villain who had grown so powerful he almost wiped out the entire community of gamers. Well, that weapon will soon be a reality, or a virtual reality, I suppose. Blizzard Entertainment, the creators of World of Warcraft who helped design the gaming scenes for the South Park episode, will include the sword in the new Arena System of the World of Warcraft expansion, The Burning Crusade. Also, I have no idea what anything means in that last sentence I just typed. Nevertheless, this is a pretty cool thing. The sword will not have the supreme power it did in the episode, however. The new game could be released as early as November. A menu image is available here.
As I said in my review of the South Park episode "Make Love, Not Warcraft," I've never seen nor played that particular game in my life, but like anything else, to many people it borders on a kind of obsession. A few World of Warcraft fans took it upon themselves to add a list of incongruities to the episode's Wikipedia page, pointing out various places throughout the episode where the game the kids are playing differs from the actual version. Most of those claims have been removed from the entry, but you can read a spirited discussion about the relevance of those claims here, and if you really feel like killing time, you can pore through the entry's history. Ah, nerds and the Web, they fit together just like peanut butter and jelly. Admittedly, I'm a nerd myself, but for cartoons. World of Warcraft I couldn't care less about, but if I found some misinformation on Mr. Magoo you can be sure I'd have something to say about it. We all have our weaknesses, after all.
Cartman: You can just hang around outside all day tossing a ball around, or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters.
I think I can say with almost absolute certainty that South Park is the first television show in history where a character actually uses the word "pwnage." Since I'm online doing this here blogging thing all the time I caught that particular phrase, though there was a lot in this show I didn't understand, since I've neither seen nor played Warcraft before. The episode gently mocked those who do nothing but play Warcraft, but at the same time, it made it clear what an awesome game it is. It was funny to watch everyone become so immersed in the game they begin to think of it as real life, but it did make me think back to my younger days when a particularly difficult Nintendo game would cause me to throw my controller across the room in anger. I guess we're all susceptible to the allure of these games. Well, not all of us, but those of us with nerdly tendencies. Truth be told, I think that, like Butters, Hello Kitty Island Adventure is more up my alley.
What celeb do you look like?
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