Alex, just admit it: you're not funny. You never were funny. For the last twenty-two years, every time you've tried to be funny on Jeopardy!, you've sounded like one of those guys at a party who says the lame line that makes everybody scatter. Just stop it, stop it right now. Read the clues, act all smug when you give an incorrect contestant the answer that's right in front of you, pronounce every year by saying things like "nineteen-hundred and ninety-two", we don't care. We already know you're pompous. Just stop trying to make jokes; it's very, very painful.

(Of course, because we do have senses of humor here at TV Squad, we give you a picture of Alex hosting High Rollers in the mid-Seventies. Nice perm, Trebek.)