hillaryclinton

It wasn't April 1st so it couldn't be April Fool's Day. It was March 1st. Still, there she was, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton saying those famous words, "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night Live."

In an unannounced and potentially savvy political move, Senator Hillary Clinton, appeared on the NBC late night comedy and showed that she can laugh at herself. This surprise appearance, coupled with her agreeing to be on Monday's Daily Show with Jon Stewart, can only help her in Tuesday's primaries in Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont. It's pretty much desperation time for the Clinton candidacy and if Hillary wants to make it to the Denver convention with a chance to beat Barack Obama, she must win Texas and Ohio -- the big states -- decisively.

Lost is perhaps the ultimate in TV fiction. The storytelling is the stuff of vivid imaginations and it's gotten millions watching and wondering and tuning in for more. Of course, in the midst of all that fantasy, some things we've taken as fact, like most of the technology. For instance, I don't know about you, but I believed those satellite phones they've been using since Naomi parachuted onto the island last season were the real thing. Well, guess what, it's no more of a reality than Mr. Spock's tricorder on Star Trek!

Like a lot of writers, I have an idea folder (it's manila, but I have it covered in puffy rainbow and unicorn stickers, so it's beautiful). As each week progresses, I jot down all my ideas -- for columns, for stand-up bits, for ransom notes -- and at the end of that week, I take stock of my creative output.

This week, I noticed that there were a lot of ideas that I wanted to share, but that weren't quite big enough for a full TV 101 column. I attached them to the end of my last column in a section called "Dribs and Drabs." It was a good thought, except that it took an already bloated piece (my writing makes the Unabomber's manifesto look like a dream of concise thought) and puffed it up into a 3000 word monstrosity. My editor suggested I break up the Dribs and Drabs section into its own piece, and that, dear readers, is what I did. Dribs and Drabs, after the jump...

As the race between Senator Hillary Clinton and Senator Barak Obama heats up for the Democratic party presidential candidacy, here comes news that should throw the spotlight onto Hillary...if she's savvy enough to say yes. During a recent visit to The Tyra Banks Show, Hillary revealed that "if (paired) with one of those really good partners" she would someday like to compete on Dancing with the Stars. When the powers that be at Dancing heard that, they wasted no time in sending the former first lady a formal invitation. While they acknowledge that the show is not currently in production, dancers from the show are performing around the country in Dancing with the Stars - The Tour. They invited Hillary to choose any one of the dancers and take a try at a cha cha, pasa doble or tango. Or, if she prefer, she could always call on hubby Bill for a pas de deux.

Jon kicked off the episode by running a few rounds of paper football. Not that I'm a big paper sports enthusiast, but I couldn't help but notice that he wasn't holding the football quite right. Jon, your story just doesn't add up. He then flubbed a gag with a toy robot, which was pretty precious, even though it didn't make much sense. What can I say? I like satirists and robots.

"Indecision 2008": The Democrats took on Nevada and the media took on the world's most cliche Las Vegas metaphors to cover Hillary Clinton's win. However, Jon had them all beat with his "bet on black" comment. Of course, Hillary's win was met with criticism and Bill Clinton defended her like he's already the First Laddie. And then that drew even more criticism. So it goes.

"Indecision 2008:" Mitt Romney passed John McCain and Mike Huckabee for the win in Michigan, that one place that looks like a mitten. Also, "Mitt Romney" in German is "With Romney." Fun Fact courtesy of Mr. Stewart.

On the Democratic side, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John Edwards and not Dennis Kucinich sat around a table and had a fun discussion. Same hand-holding may have been involved. The media has also been having fun, throwing around the phrase "the gloves are off" in reference to Clinton and Obama's fight for the top. Also, here's some other super-fun news: Wow, race is still a relevant issue? People are spreading false rumors on the Internet? How strange.

"You Don't Know Dick": A very quick fun fact about Dick Cheney to help you decide what to get him for Christmas... He wants a silver deathbox. And I can't believe I'm half-defending Cheney, but, in all fairness, he didn't actually say, "Damn, I need one of those"... He said he thought it. That's a fairly significant difference.

"Indecision v. 2.008: Food Edition": Presidential candidates have been using teh interwebz to share their stories from the campaign trail. I'm not gonna lie, this segment made me really, really hungry. Although, that bit about John Edwards and his wife celebrating their 30th anniversary at a Wendy's left me more confused than peckish. Yeah, you're a normal all-American guy, Edwards, we get it. A normal all-American millionaire Senator guy.

Sorry for the late post, folks, but it's Finals week and I'm up to my eyeballs in anxiety. Jon Stewart doesn't have to deal with Finals and work in a studio until 5:00 AM. All he has to do is produce, write, and present a show four days a week. Lazy bastard.

Anyway, Hillary Clinton is making the entertainment show rounds, side-by-side with Britney "Hey, y'all! There are flowers on my boobies!" Spears. It was disturbing to see her act giddy about shoes... I mean, I know she's a woman and all, but... she's Hillary Clinton. "Oh, my God. Hillary Clinton is running as Cathy."

Before you get your skewers out and make me into a blogger shish kebob, I want you to know that I'm happy that Sanjaya stayed in the competition over Sundance. Some of you might be saying, "Isn't recess over? Doesn't he have to go back for story time now?"

Now now...be nice people. Sanjaya is a sweet sixteen year old and pop music has always been for the kids. Let us review the TV's Top 5! moment, when fear met Sanjaya as he found himself up against Sundance in elimination.

Sundance is probably a victim of the "Everyone obviously voted for him" elimination process. Where the assumption is, he a favorite contestant so why should I waste my vote on him.

Awkward moment yes, but not as awkward as this moment with Hillary Clinton...

Jon started off with some thoughts on Laura Bush's statement that she believes Iraq is mostly stable and there is just one bombing a day that discourages everybody... "Well, you know what they say: A bombing a day keeps the doctor away... because the educated middle class has left the country."

"Clusterfuck to the White House": Good-bye Vilsack Duck Joke! You had a good run. Kind of. You too, Vilsack.

During an appearance on C-SPAN, Robert Novak, certified prick, claimed to have never seen The Daily Show and that he will go to the grave never having seen it. He then went on to call Jon Stewart a "self-righteous comedian taking on airs of grandeur". Jon, of course, found this absolutely hysterical because didn't Novak just say that he's never seen TDS? Silly Novak, uninformed opinions are for bloggers. Jon faced the camera and asked Novak to join him on neutral ground (Food Network, perhaps) and discuss. And I know it's wrong, but I find it highly amusing when Jon attempts a complicated prop joke and fails miserably in the process. C'mon, it's adorable.