It's not really possible that every summer premiere on the great American broadcast TV schedule crashed and burned, is it?

But, out of all the original programs that premiered on the major networks after the completion of the fall 2008 season, not a single one got traction.

According to analysis reports, you can take your pick from any of the following shows: Defying Gravity, The Superstars, The Listener, Mental, The Philanthropist, Hitched or Ditched, Merlin and Great American Road Trip. All of them bombed -- each hovering just above a one market share.

In fact, you don't need numbers to prove that the fall crop crapped out. Ask your friend what his/her favorite summer replacement show was. You'll be waiting awhile.

• At 8, ABC has a new episode of The Superstars, then new episodes of Better Off Ted and Primetime: Family Secrets.
• NBC has a new, two-hour America's Got Talent at 8.
• PBS has a new Nova at 8, followed by a new Nova scienceNOW.
• At 9, The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• Also at 9: Bravo has two new episodes of NYC Prep.
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• Food Network has a new Chopped at 10.
• There's a new episode of The Cleaner on A&E at 10.
• Sci-Fi has a new ECW at 10.
• Travel Channel has a new Bite Me with Dr. Mike at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, ABC has the series premiere of The Superstars.
• NBC has a new I'm A Celebrity... at 8, followed by the season premiere of America's Got Talent.
• At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
• The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
• PBS has a new Frontline/World at 9.
• TNT has a new Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• At 10, ABC has a new Primetime: Family Secrets.
• There's a new Rescue Me on FX at 10.
• A&E has a new episode of The Cleaner at 10.
• Bravo has the series premiere of NYC Prep at 10.
• Spike has a new ECW at 10.
• HBO has a new Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel at 10.
• Also at 10: Food Network has a new Chopped.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, TCM has Citizen Kane.
• At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
• The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
• PBS has a new Frontline at 9.
• TNT has the series premiere of Hawthorne at 9, then a new Saving Grace.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• CMT has the CMT Music Awards at 9.
• At 10, ABC has the series finale of Cupid.
• FX has a new Rescue Me at 10.
• Food Network has a new Chopped at 10.
• Bravo has the season finale of Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
• History Channel has a new Life After People at 10.
• MTV has a new Paris Hilton's My New BFF.
• Also at 10: Spike has a new ECW.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

• At 8, ABC has two new episodes of According To Jim (including the series finale), followed by Earth 2100.
• NBC has a new I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Outta Here at 8, then Inside The Obama White House: Brian Williams Reports and the season finale of Law and Order: SVU.
• Versus has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
• TCM has It Happened One Night at 8, then Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.
• At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
• The CW has a new Hitched or Ditched at 9.
• G4 has a sneak peek at Web Soup at 9.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9, followed by a new Man vs. Wild (with Will Ferrell).
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
• History Channel has a new Life After People.
• Sci-Fi has a new ECW at 10.
• Travel Channel has a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
• Also at 10: MTV has the season premiere of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. Does she get a new best friend every year?

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

So I'm sitting there all cozy yesterday watching the season (I won't say series!) finale of Reaper. It's at a pivotal moment in the action. Sam is batting the devil for his soul. All he has to do is sink these quarters into this shot glass. My eyes are glued to his hands and then ... then ... well look at the picture! You can't see shit! Behind that cloud of whatever the hell that's supposed to be is Sam's hand holding the quarter. You can almost see the shot glass coming out of the blob.

Come on, I know we've had to learn to get used to on-screen promos for shows but where does it say you have to cover up fully a quarter of the screen with white glowing crap? Did you think I might not notice the words "Hitched or Ditched" down there? I'm sorry, but this is completely inexcusable. Why not just have a voice over interrupt screaming: "HEY! YOU NEED TO WATCH HITCHED OR DITCHED! IT'S ON NEXT. IF YOU DON'T THIS WHITE BLOB IS GONNA COVER THE WHOLE SCREEN! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

• At 8, ABC has two new episodes of According To Jim., then the continuation of the miniseries Diamonds.
  
• The CW has the series finale of Reaper at 8, followed by the series premiere of Hitched or Ditched.
• TNT has the Magic/Cavaliers game at 8.
• At 8:30, Food Network has a new Good Eats, then a new Dear Food Network.
• At 9, FOX has the series premiere of Mental.
• PBS has a new Frontline at 9.
  
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9, then a new Out of the Wild: The Alaska Experiment.
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• History Channel has a new Life After People at 10.
• Sci-Fi has a new ECW at 10.
• Travel Channel has a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
• Also at 10: Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey.
• At 10:30, TBS has the season finale of My Boys.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.