• At 8, ABC has a new Surviving Suburbia, followed by a new episode of The Goode Family.
• NBC has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
• FOX has a new Don't Forget The Lyrics at 8.
• PBS has a new Washington Week at 8, then new episodes of NOW and Bill Moyers Journal.
• There's a new Smackdown! on MyNetwork TV at 8.
• Also at 8: BBC America has a new Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
• At 9, History Channel has a new Patton 360.
• Animal Planet has a new Whale Wars at 9.
• Travel Channel has two new episodes of Ghost Adventures at 9.
• Hallmark has the movie Come Dance With Me at 9.
• At 10, HBO has a new Real Time with Bill Maher.

• At 8, ABC has a new Jimmy Kimmel Live, followed by the Magic/Lakers game.
• NBC has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
• TCM has High Noon at 8.
• At 9, FOX has a new Mental.
• Discovery has a new Deadliest Catch at 9.
• At 10, FX has a new Rescue Me.
• Bravo has a new Real Housewives of New Jersey at 10.
• History Channel has a new Life After People at 10.
• There's a new Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern at 10.
• Spike has a new ECW at 10.
• Also at 10: MTV has a new Paris Hilton's My New BFF.

• HBO2 has a True Blood marathon all night.
• At 8, NBC has the Penguins/Red Wings game.
• GSN has the Game Show Awards at 8.
• At 8:30, CBS has a new Worst Week, then new episodes of Harper's Island and 48 Hours Mystery.
• FOX has a new Cops at 8:30, then a new America's Most Wanted.
  
• At 9, BBC America has a new Primeval at 9, followed by a new Graham Norton Show.
• CNBC has a new Suze Orman Show at 9.
• Also at 9: Hallmark has the movie Come Dance At My Wedding.
• At 10, ABC has a new Pushing Daisies.
• Travel Channel has a new Samantha Brown's Great Weekends at 10.
• At 12:30AM, Cartoon Network has two new episodes of Bleach.

• At 8, CBS has the season premiere of Million Dollar Password.
• NBC has the Penguins/Red Wings game at 8.
• Food Network has a new Challenge at 8, then a new Iron Chef America.
• At 9, PBS has a new Masterpiece Mystery!
• USA has a new Law and Order: CI at 9, followed by a new In Plain Sight.
• History Channel has the season premiere of Ice Road Truckers, then the series premiere of Expedition Africa.
• MTV has the 2009 MTV Movie Awards at 9.
• Lifetime has the miniseries Maneater at 9.
• Also at 9: GSN has a new High Stakes Poker.
• At 10, AMC has the season finale of Breaking Bad.
• HGTV has HGTV's $250,000 Challenge at 10.
• At 11:45, Cartoon Network has the season finale of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, then a new Squidbillies.

Here's what's on TV tomorrow. Lots of marathons, movies, and bowl games.

• Sci-Fi's Twilight Zone marathon continues from last night.
• AMC is showing classic westerns all day.
• Cartoon Network has Looney Tunes all day.
• Hallmark has Christmas movies all day.
• At 6am, USA has a Monk marathon.
• At 7, NBC's Today, ABC's Good Morning, America, and CBS' The Early Show will all have New Year's tips, predictions, advice, and recipes.
• At 8, TNT has a Bones marathon.
• History Channel has Ice Road Truckers episodes all day starting at 8.

(S10E14) After relentlessly satirizing current events for several episodes, the minds behind South Park took a nice departure with this episode, offering up a hysterical take on mainstream movie conventions, complete with a voiceover and musical score provided by a man who follows Stan around to clue everyone in on what's happening while he plays music on a portable record player.

Following the old comedy standby that pain is always funny, this episode sees Stan trying to become responsible, but having more pressure put on him from the town's adults than he can handle. First his bike is towed (that's right, I said "towed"), so he can't do his paper route, and if he can't make money from the paper route, he can't get his bicycle back. He ends up enlisted to coach the pee-wee hockey team, a group of toddlers who can barely skate and never score a single goal.

1. Baseball: This sport was really made for television. It's slower than other team sports, perfect for those warm summer nights, a cold drink in your hand, maybe a breeze coming in the window as you watch. And unlike other team sports, the pace gives the viewer time to figure out their own strategies for the game (hockey and basketball are too fast, and football has too many players doing too many things at once for the average Joe).

(S06E08) Me fail English? That's unpossible! -Ralph Wiggum

I have a friend who hates what he calls "Lisa episodes" of The Simpsons. It's a good-natured disagreement he and I have had for a long time, because I absolutely love "Lisa episodes." Almost every story ever written has a character that most reflects the writer's own personality, and I think Lisa is, to many of The Simpsons writers, exactly that character. She's the quiet, beleaguered outcast cursed to live in a completely illogical world; the only one who can clearly see the jive bullsh*t that is the guiding ethos of those around her.

A school assembly is held at the beginning of the episode, and Lisa learns she's failing gym. Her teacher says she won't fail Lisa as long as Lisa takes up a sport outside of school. After failed attempts at basketball and volleyball, she joins a rival hockey team opposite Bart's team when it's revealed she has a natural talent as a goalie. Milhouse, on the other hand, does not, even after being tied to the goal.

• At 8, ABC has a repeat Wife Swap, followed by a repeat Supernanny, then a new How To Get The Guy.
• CBS has repeats of King of Queens, How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, Old Christine, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has Oilers/Hurricanes hockey action at 8.
• Over on FOX at 8, a repeat Hell's Kitchen, followed by a new ep.
• On the WB, two repeats of 7th Heaven, while UPN has repeats of One on One, All of Us, Girlfriends, and Half & Half.
• Also at 8: Food Network has a new Emeril Live, where he cooks "More Quick and Easy" recipes.
• At 9, TLC has a new Honey We're Killing The Kids.
• Food Network has a new Unwrapped at 9.
• TNT has a new ep of The Closer at 9, followed by a new ep of Saved.
• Lifetime has the new movie, A Girl Like Me: The Gwen Araujo Story. It's on at 9 too.
• At 10, E! has a new ep of 7 Deadly Hollywood Sins, focusing on "Gluttony."
• At 11, Lifetime has a new ep of Lovespring International.

• At 7:30, Cartoon Network has Superman: Brainiac Attacks, followed by new eps of Naruto, One Piece, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, and IGPX.
• At 8, ABC has the movie Lady and the Tramp, followed by a new episode of The Evidence.
• CBS has repeats of CSI: NY and 48 Hours Mystery.
• NBC has Hurricanes/Oilers Stanley Cup action at 8.
• Over on FOX at 8, a new ep of Cops, followed by a repeat ep, then a new America's Most Wanted.
• TBS has the Cheaper By The Dozen remake at 8.
• FX has the Busch Series Meijer 300 NASCAR race at 8.
• Emeril has a "Summertime Party" at 8 on Food Network.
• Also at 8: AMC has Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai.
• At 9, TBS has Signs.
• At 10, the Golf Channel has U.S. Open highlights.
• Just after 11:30, Encore has The Bourne Supremecy.