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October 4, 2015


New Year's resolutions from The Simpsons

by Julia Ward, posted Dec 27th 2006 6:07PM
Homer SimpsonA New Year's resolution is a funny thing. On the one hand, resolutions are a great way of beating back seasonal depression. They allow us to put our old ways behind us. Making a resolution is a way of acknowledging that there's hope for us yet - all is not lost. Then, the year begins. The resolution gets left by the wayside. What was once a hopeful promise you made to yourself becomes indicative of failure.

So, why make resolutions at all? Theoretically, because we keep hoping that we can become the best possible versions of ourselves. And, what exactly would be the best possible version of the Simpsons? Lucky for you, Fox has the answer. In an odd, brief press release promoting the January 7th return of the show, Fox listed the adult Springfieldians' 2007 resolutions. You can check them out after the jump. Perhaps, they'll inspire you to turn over a new leaf this holiday season.

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Update on The Sarah Silverman Program

by Julia Ward, posted Dec 24th 2006 6:32PM
Sarah SilvermanMark your calendars. Sarah Silverman's much-delayed Comedy Central show The Sarah Silverman Program will finally get its debut on February 1st at 10:30pm. A six-episode run of the program was scheduled to premiere this past summer - capitalizing on the positive press Silverman garnered for her concert film Jesus is Magic and her appearance in the documentary The Aristocrats. I suppose Comedy Central thought the market for clever, offensive comedy from beautiful women was saturated last summer so they waited to spring the goods on us in '07.

Silverman's television outing was conceived by Silverman along with Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab - names comedy fans may remember as being responsible for the failed Fox pilot turned cult favorite Heat Vision and Jack.

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I'm dreaming of a Pale Force Christmas

by Julia Ward, posted Dec 22nd 2006 4:03PM
Pale Force ChristmasThe third and final installment of Conan O'Brien and comedian Jim Gaffigan's "Pale Force" animated Christmas episode can now be streamed online, and it's a classic. Not only does it manage to satirize every single pop culture manifestation of this most precious of holidays, it also throws in a dig about the Eurocentric depiction of Christ, gives us an animated Andy Warhol and poses the question, "What would the world be like if Conan weren't pale?"

The number of sly references in the three-parter is dazzling as are such jaunty songs as "Not Going to Get Me Down This Year" and "Christmas is the Palest Time of Year." So, move over Scrubs' Charlie Brown Xmas and SNL's "Dick in a Box," the "Pale Force Christmas" episode has entered the favorite holiday viral race.

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The Simpsons: Kill Gil: Vols. 1 & 2

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 17th 2006 10:34PM


Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?

Marge: I'll tell you why: Christian charity.

Homer: "Christian Charity?" What does a porn star have to do with this?

I was impressed with the overall holiday motif of this episode, especially the altered opening with snow, Christmas decor and Bart riding a snowboard (across dry pavement, even) rather than his usual skateboard.

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Festivus Retro Squad: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 17th 2006 6:02PM

grinchA Charlie Brown Christmas will always be about eight billion light years above all other holiday specials in my mind, but that's not to say I don't enjoy those other old standards that pop up on TV this time of year. How the Grinch Stole Christmas remains one of my favorites: a perfect blend of all things Seussian and Jonesian.

To be honest, from a visual standpoint How the Grinch Stole Christmas is pretty much a Chuck Jones special. The only characters who really resemble Dr. Seuss' graphic style are The Whos, and even the precocious Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two) is given the doe eyes and adorable but dopey face that made Jones' characters instantly recognizable. Jones did much the same thing when he took over the Tom and Jerry shorts for MGM which were originated by William Hanna and Joe Barbera: he redesigned the characters and made it his own thing.

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Have a merry and violent Christmas

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 13th 2006 9:02PM

david firthChristmas isn't just about hanging stockings, decorating the tree, buying presents, burning the Yule log and cleaning the vomit off your roof from airsick reindeer. Sometimes it's about shooting your wife and son in the face and sawing through your son's skull, or so animator David Firth imagines in this graphic animated Christmas card (extreme cartoon violence, so be warned). This was supposed to appear on the BBC Four program Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, but Brooker rejected it. Firth has apparently made animated shorts for the series before, but this one wasn't family-friendly enough according to Brooker. Like Firth says, more people will probably see it on the Web, anyway. I figured I'd help that along and mention it here, because it really is quite funny if you have a twisted sense of humor.

[via Cold, Hard Flash]

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What's on tonight: Cops, Mad TV, SNL, Talk Show, Xmas Movies and Specials

by Bob Sassone, posted Dec 9th 2006 5:41PM
  • The GrinchAt 8, FOX has a new Cops, followed by a repeat episode, then a new America's Most Wanted.
  • ABC has Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen at 8, followed by Jim Carrey in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
  • Food Network has a repeat Emeril Live where he creates a "Christmas Holiday Party," followed by the Nigella Bites Christmas Special and A Barefoot Contessa Holiday.
  • There are two new eps of Little People, Big World on TLC, starting at 8.
  • At 9, CBS has a new, two-hour 48 Hours Mystery.
  • Discovery has a special Holiday Mythbusters at 9.
  • Lifetime has Holiday Affair at 9.
  • At 10, TLC has the special Crazy Christmas Lights.
  • At 11, FOX has a new Mad TV, followed by a new Talk Show With Spike Feresten.
  • NBC has a new Saturday Night Live at 11:30, with Annette Bening and Gwen Stefani.

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The Daily Show: December 6, 2006

by Annie Wu, posted Dec 7th 2006 9:30PM
John Oliver"Majority Power": There was a little more talk about Bob Gates' confirmation hearing ("You had us at 'We're losing'!"). I failed to pay much attention because I kept staring at Jon's disturbingly skinny tie. Yes yes, minor things like that still bother me. Jon used to look so sharp!

Yuletide War Correspondent John Oliver talked about another war we're fighting... the War on Christmas. Well, folks, it's all over, because Wal-Mart is going to start saying "Merry Christmas" again. Oliver and Santa could have gotten into that kiss so much more. I watch The Daily Show for hot correspondent-on-holiday figure action, so y'better not disappoint me. Sideline Correspondent Rob Riggle also popped up... not in front of a green screen, surprisingly. I snorted really loudly when he called that guy Moshe Goldstein.

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The Five: Random Christmas thoughts

by Bob Sassone, posted Dec 7th 2006 4:28PM
Mr. Magoo's A Christmas Carol1. Just when I thought Dr. Phil was the most annoying person in the McGraw family comes...oh, wait, Dr. Phil is still the most annoying person in the McGraw family, but the other night I was watching that HGTV special where they show the White House being decorated for the holidays, and it was hosted by Robin McGraw. She has all the personality of a used bar of soap.

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Everybody Hates Chris: Everybody Hates Kris - a spoiler-free early look

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 6th 2006 8:01PM

everybody hates chrisThis holiday episode of Everybody Hates Chris will air on Monday, December 11 at 8 pm, but here's a little taste of what to expect. I'll have a more-detailed review up after the show airs.

It's Christmas in Brooklyn, and Chris has discovered the joy of the season, and more specifically, the joy of putting items on layaway. Over time he's been slowly paying for gifts for his family, but when he gets sick, he worries he won't be able to keep working and have the gifts paid off before Christmas. His father, who takes a job playing Santa at a department store (narrator Chris Rock points out it's more than a little odd that a black man is playing Santa Claus at a department store called "Goldsteins") gets Chris a job taking pictures of the kids. Julius, always concerned about money, tells all the kids the presents they want are too expensive.

The "Kris" in the episode title refers to guest star Richard Lewis, but I don't want to go into too much detail and ruin the episode. I will say, however, that Lewis turns in a great performance. He alone makes the episode worth watching.

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Rock out with Charlie Brown - VIDEO

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 6th 2006 6:20PM

charlie brown christmasReader James left this link on a previous post of mine, a clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas overdubbed with a song by heavy metal band Tourniquet. Sorry, I don't listen to a lot of metal, so I couldn't tell you the name of the song, but I'm sure one of you will tell me in the comments. I usually break out my Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack album around this time of year, but maybe I should download this song from iTunes as well and add it to my Christmas playlist. I don't know what's being sung, exactly, but I'm sure it has something to do with loving Jesus, goodwill towards men, and sipping apple cider around the fireplace ... with SATAN*.

Just for fun, I also included the Charlie Brown / Outkast mashup that hit the Web some time ago. Dance your pants off.

*Some readers pointed out that Tourniquet is a Christian metal band, so my joke doesn't really make sense. I will try to do a better job in the future of pretending I care about Christian metal and its place in the annals of modern music.

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On the 11th day of festivus, TV gave to me

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 5th 2006 4:30PM

aqua teen hunger force

. . . eleven Adult Swim moments.

Gather around the fireplace, kids, and let us reminisce about all the joy Adult Swim has brought us in the past year:

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Festivus Retro Squad: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

by Julia Ward, posted Dec 5th 2006 10:05AM
Rankin/Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed ReindeerOne of the longest running Christmas specials in television history, Rankin/Bass' Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer debuted in 1964 on NBC. Around 1972, it switched over to CBS, where you can see it again this year on December 8th. Let's just get this part out of the way - it's not Claymation. The special was made using figurines in a stop motion animation process labeled "Animagic" by the show's producers.

A whole world of nostalgia was brought back for me a few years ago when the Island of Misfit Toys were introduced as plush dolls at CVS. I have a soft spot in my heart for the Rudolph special because it glorifies the plight of the misfit. Rudolph is the beta-kid Christmas special. Hermey, the dentist elf, and Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, are heroes to anyone who has ever been picked on for being a little different. Rudolph is for us - the geeks, the queers, the fat kids, the short bus riders, the loners and the AV crew.

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ABC re-airing A Charlie Brown Christmas this month

by Adam Finley, posted Dec 4th 2006 7:01PM

charlie brown christmasJust like last year, ABC is airing A Charlie Brown Christmas twice this year. If you missed it when it aired late last month, you can catch it again on ABC on Sunday, December 17 at 7 pm. I recorded the special when it aired in November but haven't yet gotten around to watching it. When I do finally get time to sit and watch it, I'll do my usual ritual of dousing the lights, unplugging the phone and immersing myself in the special as I've done every year since I was a kid. I could purchase the DVD, but I have no interest in that. I like keeping this special tied to the holiday season, it's like a gift I get to unwrap and enjoy at the end of every year. I only wish ABC had also re-aired It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, since my local station moved it to 3 am so they could air some insipid midterm election debate.

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Heidi Klum's weird holiday music video - VIDEO

by Anna Johns, posted Nov 28th 2006 10:36AM
heidi klumHeidi Klum has a really weird holiday music video that looks like it was directed by the same person who does David Hasselhoff's videos. Best Week Ever characterized it as a karaoke video, which is pretty accurate. It's extremely cheerful and starry, with lots of snow and children. Plus, it has cheesy lyrics like the chorus: "Wonderland, wonderland. Shining Stars. Jingle Bells." Try getting that out of your head after you hear it!

Video is after the jump:

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