So, why make resolutions at all? Theoretically, because we keep hoping that we can become the best possible versions of ourselves. And, what exactly would be the best possible version of the Simpsons? Lucky for you, Fox has the answer. In an odd, brief press release promoting the January 7th return of the show, Fox listed the adult Springfieldians' 2007 resolutions. You can check them out after the jump. Perhaps, they'll inspire you to turn over a new leaf this holiday season.
Silverman's television outing was conceived by Silverman along with Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab - names comedy fans may remember as being responsible for the failed Fox pilot turned cult favorite Heat Vision and Jack.
The number of sly references in the three-parter is dazzling as are such jaunty songs as "Not Going to Get Me Down This Year" and "Christmas is the Palest Time of Year." So, move over Scrubs' Charlie Brown Xmas and SNL's "Dick in a Box," the "Pale Force Christmas" episode has entered the favorite holiday viral race.
Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why: Christian charity.
Homer: "Christian Charity?" What does a porn star have to do with this?
I was impressed with the overall holiday motif of this episode, especially the altered opening with snow, Christmas decor and Bart riding a snowboard (across dry pavement, even) rather than his usual skateboard.
A Charlie Brown Christmas will always be about eight billion light years above all other holiday specials in my mind, but that's not to say I don't enjoy those other old standards that pop up on TV this time of year. How the Grinch Stole Christmas remains one of my favorites: a perfect blend of all things Seussian and Jonesian.
To be honest, from a visual standpoint How the Grinch Stole Christmas is pretty much a Chuck Jones special. The only characters who really resemble Dr. Seuss' graphic style are The Whos, and even the precocious Cindy Lou Who (who was no more than two) is given the doe eyes and adorable but dopey face that made Jones' characters instantly recognizable. Jones did much the same thing when he took over the Tom and Jerry shorts for MGM which were originated by William Hanna and Joe Barbera: he redesigned the characters and made it his own thing.
Christmas isn't just about hanging stockings, decorating the tree, buying presents, burning the Yule log and cleaning the vomit off your roof from airsick reindeer. Sometimes it's about shooting your wife and son in the face and sawing through your son's skull, or so animator David Firth imagines in this graphic animated Christmas card (extreme cartoon violence, so be warned). This was supposed to appear on the BBC Four program Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe, but Brooker rejected it. Firth has apparently made animated shorts for the series before, but this one wasn't family-friendly enough according to Brooker. Like Firth says, more people will probably see it on the Web, anyway. I figured I'd help that along and mention it here, because it really is quite funny if you have a twisted sense of humor.
[via Cold, Hard Flash]
- At 8, FOX has a new Cops, followed by a repeat episode, then a new America's Most Wanted.
- ABC has Holidaze: The Christmas That Almost Didn't Happen at 8, followed by Jim Carrey in How The Grinch Stole Christmas.
- Food Network has a repeat Emeril Live where he creates a "Christmas Holiday Party," followed by the Nigella Bites Christmas Special and A Barefoot Contessa Holiday.
- There are two new eps of Little People, Big World on TLC, starting at 8.
- At 9, CBS has a new, two-hour 48 Hours Mystery.
- Discovery has a special Holiday Mythbusters at 9.
- Lifetime has Holiday Affair at 9.
- At 10, TLC has the special Crazy Christmas Lights.
- At 11, FOX has a new Mad TV, followed by a new Talk Show With Spike Feresten.
- NBC has a new Saturday Night Live at 11:30, with Annette Bening and Gwen Stefani.
Yuletide War Correspondent John Oliver talked about another war we're fighting... the War on Christmas. Well, folks, it's all over, because Wal-Mart is going to start saying "Merry Christmas" again. Oliver and Santa could have gotten into that kiss so much more. I watch The Daily Show for hot correspondent-on-holiday figure action, so y'better not disappoint me. Sideline Correspondent Rob Riggle also popped up... not in front of a green screen, surprisingly. I snorted really loudly when he called that guy Moshe Goldstein.
This holiday episode of Everybody Hates Chris will air on Monday, December 11 at 8 pm, but here's a little taste of what to expect. I'll have a more-detailed review up after the show airs.
It's Christmas in Brooklyn, and Chris has discovered the joy of the season, and more specifically, the joy of putting items on layaway. Over time he's been slowly paying for gifts for his family, but when he gets sick, he worries he won't be able to keep working and have the gifts paid off before Christmas. His father, who takes a job playing Santa at a department store (narrator Chris Rock points out it's more than a little odd that a black man is playing Santa Claus at a department store called "Goldsteins") gets Chris a job taking pictures of the kids. Julius, always concerned about money, tells all the kids the presents they want are too expensive.
The "Kris" in the episode title refers to guest star Richard Lewis, but I don't want to go into too much detail and ruin the episode. I will say, however, that Lewis turns in a great performance. He alone makes the episode worth watching.
Reader James left this link on a previous post of mine, a clip from A Charlie Brown Christmas overdubbed with a song by heavy metal band Tourniquet. Sorry, I don't listen to a lot of metal, so I couldn't tell you the name of the song, but I'm sure one of you will tell me in the comments. I usually break out my Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack album around this time of year, but maybe I should download this song from iTunes as well and add it to my Christmas playlist. I don't know what's being sung, exactly, but I'm sure it has something to do with loving Jesus, goodwill towards men, and sipping apple cider around the fireplace ... with SATAN*.
Just for fun, I also included the Charlie Brown / Outkast mashup that hit the Web some time ago. Dance your pants off.
*Some readers pointed out that Tourniquet is a Christian metal band, so my joke doesn't really make sense. I will try to do a better job in the future of pretending I care about Christian metal and its place in the annals of modern music.
A whole world of nostalgia was brought back for me a few years ago when the Island of Misfit Toys were introduced as plush dolls at CVS. I have a soft spot in my heart for the Rudolph special because it glorifies the plight of the misfit. Rudolph is the beta-kid Christmas special. Hermey, the dentist elf, and Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, are heroes to anyone who has ever been picked on for being a little different. Rudolph is for us - the geeks, the queers, the fat kids, the short bus riders, the loners and the AV crew.
Just like last year, ABC is airing A Charlie Brown Christmas twice this year. If you missed it when it aired late last month, you can catch it again on ABC on Sunday, December 17 at 7 pm. I recorded the special when it aired in November but haven't yet gotten around to watching it. When I do finally get time to sit and watch it, I'll do my usual ritual of dousing the lights, unplugging the phone and immersing myself in the special as I've done every year since I was a kid. I could purchase the DVD, but I have no interest in that. I like keeping this special tied to the holiday season, it's like a gift I get to unwrap and enjoy at the end of every year. I only wish ABC had also re-aired It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, since my local station moved it to 3 am so they could air some insipid midterm election debate.
Video is after the jump:
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