i hate green beans
1. Drinking games
Anyone who decided to take a shot when Ashley mentioned "Bentley," "amazing" or "journey" will probably be sloshed until next Monday when they start a new drinking game during 'Bachelor Pad.'
And with the fantasy date comes the infamous forgo card granting Ashley and her beau the opportunity to stay as a couple in a super posh suite with radioactive glowing blue pool water.
The most surprising moment was when Greek Groban decided to forgo the forgo card date even before the forgo was presented. The other shocking moment was when House Speaker John Boehner and President Obama made their cases on how to solve the debt crisis in the middle of Greek Groban's date. OPA!
Other than those two dramatic instances, the episode was predictable and a touch boring. Therefore, I give you:
TOP FIVE MOMENTS I WOULD CHOOSE TO FORGO
These families were warm, loving and even ... normal. Ashley's wardrobe was the most dysfunctional part of the entire show, and that wasn't even all that bad if you're not counting the rose ceremony dress.
Needless to say, I knew coming up with an entire recap -- let alone my weekly Top 5 list for AOL TV -- was going to a challenge. So I decided to take a bold approach:
TOP 5 THINGS I FIND MORE INTRIGUING THAN THIS WEEK'S 'BACHELORETTE'!
Unfortunately, there was a lot of behind the scenes preparation that resulted in some pretty lackluster coverage if you ask me. And that is where I, Lincee Ray, got this week's inspiration:
Top Five "How Many ABC Interns Does It Take?" Moments from This Week's 'Bachelorette'
There was dragon boat racing, Hong Kong sight seeing and a moment in which I thought the vein in Our Host Chris Harrison's forehead was going to pop when he had to deal with the Ashley and Bentley drama.
Fortunately, the night also held some unexpected twists. So it is without further ado, that I, Lincee Ray, give you:
The Top Five SHUT UP! Moments From Last Night
(In no particular order)
And about 20 minutes in when Ashley has mentioned Bentley approximately 15 times, did you begin counting the Bentley's in the remaining minutes of the show?
Welcome to this season of the 'Bachelorette': Insecure Ashley And Her Love For All Things Bentley!
AOL TV has generously asked me, Lincee Ray, back to share an original top five list from various moments of the night. It is without further ado that I present to you ... the Top 5 Ways To Be Inappropriate In A Foreign Country!
I KNOW -- I'll flip for it!
Heads: Preparing for a fake wedding and almost getting married
Tails: Choreographing and "performing" hip hop in front of thousands of people in Vegas
Heads: Consoling Bachelors with deceased spouses or parents
Tails: Coming THIS CLOSE to the removal of an infamous Phantom mask only to be interrupted before the GREAT REVEAL
It's only the second episode and I have a sinking suspicion that ABC is officially phoning in this season of our favorite reality show we love to hate. However, there are a few diehard fans who are convinced this is the best season yet.
So for all of you, here are five (fake) interesting letters (all fake) the network received just this week (not really) ... read 'em and weep!
Lincee was a little surprised, since she thought Brad would pick Chantal's dad ... I mean, Chantal ... but she's even more upset about ABC teasing us with a gold shoe switcheroo.
Poor Chantal -- right? Oh forget it, she's got another boyfriend now. But yay Emily? Who knows, especially with the rumors that they've already broken up! Does no live wedding and no ring mean no love lost? I suppose ...
Watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments. Until 'The Bachelorette' and 'Bachelor Pad'!
This week's episode surprised some people. Sure there were the usual fantasy suite shenanigans and, yes, even a South African safari, but are you on board with Brad's final two? And do you think he really -- gasp! -- loves them like he says?
Lincee's got some strong opinions and is pumped for next week's Women Tell All, rightfully so, but we're sad that after that and then the finale episode, we won't have her hilarious recaps every week.
But for now, she's ours, so watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments. Until next week!
This week's hometown dates brought kids, mansions, meta statues, creepy funeral home antics and so, so much more. Like fashion tips! Who doesn't have a New York City balcony pondering hat? Fingerless gloves are also making a comeback, apparently. Be afraid Brad. Be very afraid.
But our favorite part was Brad and Chantal O.'s dad bonding, both on the same wavelength about being self-made men. (Please!) Brad better make room for that petting zoo of hers ...
Now watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments. Until next week!
You don't even have to watch 'The Bachelor' when you've got Lincee Ray of I Hate Green Beans recapping the best and worst moments of every episode right here. And you're welcome, because damn this season is boring.
Except for looney tunes Michelle. Was she serious about taking matters into her own hands? Hold on tight, fans, it's gonna be a crazy (OK, crazier) ride. Lincee's right though -- she makes the show. You know what else does? Shirtless Brad, who made a triumphant return this week.
[Note: I'm truly heartbroken to report that ABC doesn't have a single Costa Rica picture or any photographic evidence of the bang braid epidemic on their press site. For shame, ABC.]
Now braid your bangs, watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments. Until next week!
This week there was Elvis, aerial aerobics and a visit to the track to torture poor Emily even more. The woman's racecar driving fiance was killed in a plane crash, and they've now put her on a small plane and on a racetrack! Classic.
And then there's crazy Michelle who, of course, 'Bachelor' Brad was all about making out with. But Lincee's more concerned with the lack of shirtlessness lately for Brad. What gives, ABC?
Now watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments. Until next week!
Take Michelle, for example, who mysteriously got a black eye in her sleep this week. (Seriously, who does that happen to?) But did that giant red flag stop Brad? Of course not. He really does know how to pick 'em, doesn't he?
And, most importantly, what was up with Chris Harrison's cardigan? Not even Mr. Rogers himself would want to be anywhere in the neighborhood of this house.
Now on to Lincee's thoughts, since she's the expert -- watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments.
And with these ladies, who wouldn't get a hangover? It's the reality TV equivalent of a tequila binge ... in the best way possible.
What do you think of this season? Does Brad seem serious about finding love? And are these women for real?
Check back here every Tuesday all season long to relive the ridiculous or find out what you missed. Now watch, enjoy and sound off in the comments.
'Bachelor' blogger extraordinare Lincee Ray of ihategreenbeans.com is video recapping the weekly misadventures of Mr. Womack and his harem of lunatics for us, and we can promise you three things:
1) She'll make you laugh
2) She's not gonna remember anyone's names, and
3) She won't sugarcoat a thing
Check back here every morning after all season long to relive the ridiculous or find out what you missed. Now watch, enjoy the aforementioned three things (and more) and sound off in the comments.
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