immunity idol

(S17E09) Nope, this Survivor episode's title isn't about Kenny. He's been the mastermind behind the last two blindsides -- Marcus and Ace. If anyone is the brains behind everything, it should be him. He definitely couldn't be the brawn behind everything, but brawn isn't always the key to getting to the final four of this show. So, to whom does the title refer? It's someone who's far from a mastermind in the game, but it's key to the episode. Read on.

(S17E08) "Susie's in the middle spinning around in circles playing dizzy bat." - Marcus

Well, my man Marcus just might have a point there about Susie on Survivor. I can usually figure out the castaways, but I'm having a bit of difficulty when it comes to the words which come out of her mouth. She already has Corinne freaking out about her due to telling her she was going to vote her out. Now, it's one thing to scheme and plan, but you don't tell the target about the scheming and planning! Susie could be just a hard working at camp but challenge lump and float along nicely. Nope, she has to talk. Read on past the jump for my review of tonight's show.

(S17E07) "I want to stab her in the face. I hate her." - Corinne

Oh my. What a nasty little so-and-so Corinne is on this season's Survivor, eh? I mean, seriously, folks. I get angry at people myself. Really, I do. Sure, I'd snicker if someone with whom I'm angry were to slip on a banana peel or something. But this "stab in the face" stuff takes things a bit too far. I want to like Corinne -- she's a strong player. But I have to wonder about stability when words like these come from her. Read on past the jump for my full review of tonight's show.

(S17E05) "Eat your rice, eat your rice." - Crystal to GC

Although they're having food shortage woes on Survivor Gabon, that rice doesn't look all that tasty to me, either. Sticky clumps of white rice cooked in dubious water just doesn't do the trick. I'd have to pretend the rice was chocolate. Then again, I'd be one of those looking at the show as a diet program. Heck, if GC doesn't want to eat his rice, I'm sure Randy will help him out. Since he performs at challenges, he deserves the food! And I don't really like Randy, but ...! Read on for my review of tonight's show.

(S17E04) "We were like legless chickens racing against sleek weasels." - Ace

Just when I think that Survivor doesn't have any new tricks up their sleeves, they surprise me. After so many seasons, it's probably hard to think of new and different things. That's why we see so many locks and puzzles. There were no locks, no bagels, no puzzles in tonight's episode. But it also wasn't quite what the promos were hinting at, either. "Blond against blond against blond," they hyped. One would think we were in for mud wrestling or ... read on past the jump for my review of tonight's show!

(S17E03) "I'm like an animal in the jungle. I want to prounce on someone." - Paloma

What is it with this season's castaways on Survivor adding in an extra "r" whenever they feel like it? Last week it was Michelle saying "frickle" instead of "fickle." Maybe it's some new fad or tied in with the internet folks who put an apostrophe whenever they end a word with an "s." So, we have this "r" thing going on, a man with a questionable British accent, and a blond Betty Boop, and one castaway is is beginning to look like Peter from Heroes as he gets scruffier. I think it's going to be a decent season. Read on past the jump for the review!

I've been a Survivor fan since the first season of the show. Now, that was back before widespread broadband internet connections and the official show website mainly had the bios, recaps and some photos. But now it has content there, especially videos, which catch us up on all the things we miss in the 40-odd minutes we see weekly on the television.

In last week's double episode it looks like more show ended up on the editing floor than it did on the show. And I'm here to share some of that with you!

(S17E01) "Jacquie is awesome!" - Marcus to Charlie

Now, isn't that nice of Marcus, an eye-candy doctor, to say about me? Sigh. Alas, it wasn't about me. I'm not on Survivor Gabon and I don't even spell my name that way. It's a first time namesake on the show for me and she isn't too shabby. However, I can't say that about the entire cast. Tonight was the big two-hour premiere night in Earth's Last Eden. Will this season live up to the quality and excitement of last season? Will Jeff Probst show off his Emmy-winning style? Read on past the jump for my full review of the show.

(S16E10) "When you're annoying, you might not be able to appease everybody with a donut. They might just want the donut." - James

All week the promos for tonight's Survivor Micronesia episode were saying that a blunder would overtake James having two idols and not playing them to save himself in Survivor China. It's true. James is no longer the goat of stupid moves. Maybe they should rename the tag line for the season. Instead of Fans vs. Favorites, it could be When Smart Castaways Do Dumb Things. Or, When Smarter Castaways Outwit Those Not as Smart.

Read on past the jump for the full review of tonight's episode.

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(S16E09) "It's something you have to try, kind of like a juicy rabbit." - James talking about the bowl of bats at the feast.

Ew! Perhaps if they didn't still have fur, were diced and then sautéed in a light garlic butter sauce. Um, no. I still don't think I'd be eating bats when there's a whole table of fruit and other good food. I guess I'm just not that experimental with my foodstuffs. For tonight's new low fat, no bat review of Survivor Micronesia, read on past the jump.

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(S16E08) After a brief hiatus and some odd scheduling due to March Madness, Survivor has returned! Oh, you might not be as excited but after watching so much Big Brother, it's nice to hear someone refer to another as a "lying sack of slop" instead of totally foul-mouthed. Not only did it return, but tonight's show explored a bit of new ground in the fans vs. favorites arena.

Read on past the jump for the full review.

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(S16E05) "Chickens have a pecking order. They peck at the weakest until they kill them. It's just like Survivor." - Chet

The promos this week made this seem like a show not to miss and they didn't steer us wrong. As promised, the tribes were mixed up and one challenge went beyond brutal. Schoolyard picks and wounded people? Now, there's a good episode!

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(S16E04) Holy eels, Batman! Er, wait. It's the Hulk, Joel, not Batman. But some of the castaways on Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites do seem a bit cartoon-like, don't they? Or perhaps more along the lines of caricatures. At four episodes in, I'm still a bit iffy on some of the names of the fans tribe. But some of them seem larger than life. Joel, Mikey B., Chet, Krazy Kathy -- they're memorable. After tonight, I definitely have a firmer grasp on Tracy.

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(S16E03) We're three episodes into Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs. Favorites and I still have trouble remembering who the one timid-looking fan is in this image. Oh, yeah. I know Krazy Kathy. And who could forget Joel?

I'm up to snuff on my faves tribe, though. But as I watched tonight's show, I happened to walk away from the set for a minute and it all came back to me. Jonathan Penner has totally stolen Alan Alda's voice. I remember it now from his season, but it's still evident. How did he do that? And, what does Alan Alda think about Jonathan Penner stealing his voice?

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(S16E02) "Get a hotel room," Jonathan says.

Let's keep in mind that the castaways on Survivor Micronesia have been together for four days as this episode was filmed. Now, that's plenty of time for true love, isn't it? And, the fact that it's airing on Valentine's Day makes it all so much more romantic, right? How touching, how sweet!

Well, unless it's only hot jungle sex noises under the fronds surrounded by rats, that is.

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