iraq war

Exxon's executive chief, Lee Raymond, is going to receive a very nice retirement package of $400 million. A package nice enough to outrage the public, suffering from rising gas prices. Jon also let us take a look at Mr. Raymond. Before we had a chance to judge, Jon insisted that Mr. Raymond's wicked jowls are not "the embodiment of greed run amok", but a very important storage system for valuable items such as doubloons, collectible baseball cards and Munch's "Scream".

Jon Stewart went surfing on the web and stumbled across a list of Dick Cheney's suite demands on The Smoking Gun. It's a lot like a rock band's performance contract but with "fewer condoms and more... defibrillators". Such demands include the temperature stay at 68 degrees (assuming that is the temperature at which reptiles are most comfortable), all lights have to be turned on (we will save no electricity when the Vice President is here!), and -- get this -- all televisions have to be tuned into FOX News ("Wow! Because God forbid he walks into a hotel room and the TV is on another channel and he finds out what a shitty job he's been doing!"). Oh, and Jon revealed that scribbled at the bottom of the typed list was "rifle, ammo, old man's face". Hmm... That could mean anything.