There's a long-running joke around our house about the Hallmark channel. Whenever anyone surfs by it long enough to hear a wispy theme song, someone will invariably drop to their knees, lightly press the back of their hand to their forehead, and feign a woman in emotional turmoil. Let's face it, that pretty much describes a lot of Hallmark movies.

So when I read in Variety that Hallmark has 30 movies in the pipeline -- and would be announcing them at the Television Critics Association confab (I guess that's what they call it when it's not the real deal?) -- I knew that a good portion of them would probably have the word "love" in the title.

Yep, sure enough. They've picked up the rights to the next two installments in the Love Comes Softly franchise, based on Janette Oke's series of eight novels set in the Old West.

The seventh title, Love Takes Wing, is in production and will air in the first quarter of 2009, starring Cloris Leachman and Hayley Duff. The final title, Love Finds a Home, is still in the script stage and hasn't been cast.

The buttoned down mind of Bob Newhart is coming back to TV. In August, Hallmark Channel will present Newhart in Herb's Murders, a two-hour original TV movie. And that's not all. Hallmark, which yesterday announced Jane Seymour in a detective movie called Dear Prudence, has other old TV favorites slated for original telefilms.

There's former 7th Heaven star Stephen Collins will star in The Ride of Her Life; Jacqueline Bisset has a holiday pic in the works called Thanksgiving Reunion, which will air in November; and Pam Grier, Florence Henderson (The Brady Bunch) and Donna Mills (Knots Landings) will headline Ladies of the House, about three women from the same church who team up on a home renovation project.

Season four of Nip/Tuck begins on September 5th with a hefty list of celebrity guests. They are: Larry Hagman, Brooke Shields, Rosie O'Donnell, Catherine Deneuve, Sanaa Lathan, Richard Chamberlain, Kathleen Turner, Jacqueline Bisset, Melissa Gilbert, and Peter Dinklage. Earlier this month, Joel reported that Mario Lopez will also be a guest star, but he's not on the list released by the network.

Rosie O'Donnell is an interesting choice since she has long been outspoken about hating plastic surgery. Show creator Ryan Murphy points out that O'Donnell is on the show because she 'gets it'. He says, "The show is about the idea that, for the most part, plastic surgery does not solve your problems." I'm not sure what date Rosie's episode airs but you can bet she'll be talking it up with the gals on The View.