jessica simpson

• Now's the time to start thinking about New Year's resolutions. ABC wants you to be "Ugly in 2007".
• Jessica Simpson's Dolly Parton tribute won't air on television, not even the re-do.
• Festivus is tomorrow, and the Festivus pole business is going well.

• Ken Levine has a bunch of great stuff at his site this week, including a story about working with Peter Boyle, his opinion of the PBS Pledge Drive, and a Traci Lords family show.
• Aaron Barnhart has one question about The Golden Globes: why?
• Star magazine has their list of The 50 Most Annoying People of 2006, and it includes Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and...Jennifer Aniston?
• Rocco DiSpirito: Broadway star?
• What do you get when you add a baby vampire with Legolas from Lord of the Rings, a mummy, a raccoon dog, the T-1000 from Terminator 3, and Sharon Stone? Best Week Ever has the answer.

• Apparently taking a break from that memoir she's writing, Tori Spelling is having a yard sale today and tomorrow.
• Dolly Parton wasn't offended when Jessica Simpson flubbed her song at a her Kennedy Center tribute.
  
• Treat yourself to lunch with Walter Cronkite, or a private after-party with George Clooney. After all, it's for charity.

Wow, they're really lining up the A-list talent for when Rosie O'Donnell debuts as co-host on the yenta-fest known as The View on September 5th. You're probably thinking Tom Cruise and his family, since Rosie is such a big fan. Or, perhaps, one of the other big stars that used to appear on her own daytime talker back in the late 90's.

Alas, no. Actually, Jessica Simpson will be one of the first guests to appear during Rosie's debut. Simpson, who has been in the news recently after her recent divorce from Nick Lachey, will be promoting her new album as well as her new movie Employee of the Month.I also have a feeling she'll try to sneak in a plug for the skin creme Proactiv, which she's been hawking on television commercials lately.

By the way, once Rosie gets her feet wet, and has her first fight with Joy Behar, The View plans to try out replacements to fill the seat left by Star Jones, who was let go back in June. Perhaps Jessica would like to fill the slot.

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson finally made it legal . . . their divorce, that is. Papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court last Friday make the singer/actors legally single once again. Officially, they now retain the status of "single, unmarried persons," according to the documents.

Nick and Jessica's fifteen minutes of fame began when they starred in the MTV reality show Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. That newlywed feeling ended around Thanksgiving 2005, when the couple announced their separation. One month later Simpson filed for divorce after three years of marriage with Lachey and thousands of pages of tabloid speculation.

Since then, Simpson has appeared with Miss Piggy in a series of Pizza Hut commercials and jumped on the infomercial bandwagon to promote Proactiv skin cream. Meanwhile, Lachey released a CD back in May entitled What's Left of Me, in which he sings about the couple's painful breakup.

In hindsight, I guess we should have seen something like this coming after her fantastic Pizza Hut promotion with Miss Piggy. Sigh.

After trying out singing, acting and marriage, 25-year-old Jessica Simpson is trying something else out . . .adoption. According to her publicist Ms. Simpson, who recently filed for divorce from actor/singer Nick Lachey, is considering adopting a child. Nothing has been finalized yet, but Jessica would like to adopt children before she has some on her own.

What? Isn't it usually the reverse unless there's some medical condition?

What seems to be the impetus for this decision is Simpson's choice of role models -- Angelina Jolie. Jessica says Jolie has done remarkable things to promote and increase international adoption. Then again, Jolie married Billy Bob Thorton and wore a vial of his blood around his next to signify their love.

Like most of you, I have trouble getting through my day knowing I'll never have hair like Jessica Simpson. I've yet to come to terms with this, so most of my day is spent sobbing and pounding the floor screaming, "Why can't I have such gorgeous locks of blonde hair shimmering like spun gold in the moonlight? I would be the loveliest debutante at the ball, and all the rugged suitors would wish to dance with me and only me!" Then I put on eyeshadow and eat a box of Hostess Sno-Balls. It's a character flaw, admittedly, I'm trying to work through it.

Anyway, it turns out I'm not the only one pining for Jessica's locks. She plans to launch her own line of hair extensions this summer. You can get hair that matches her blonde locks, or if you'd rather have hair like her sister Ashlee, you can do that, too. In fact, there's "a rainbow of colors and styles" according to one source. The new line is called "Jessica Hair Extensions" and was created along with her hairstylist, Ken Paves.