jonandkatepluseight

Things are getting a little heated for everyone's favorite dysfunctional family. No, not The Simpsons. I'm referring to Jon Gosselin, the former patriarch of Jon and Kate Plus Eight, who declared on Good Morning America that he "despises" his ex-wife and former co-star, Kate. And here I thought "TLC" also meant "tender loving care".

People, do you remember all those "reality" programs that so many of you adore so much? They're all fake. This is the sort of reason I can't stand reality television. While there is no formal "script", the people on those shows are as much characters as those on Battlestar Galactica, except the writing isn't as good.

As a note to anybody famous considering divorce: if you do decide to go through with it, practice some tact and don't make it the headline of every tabloid that points a microphone in your face. This entire situation is schadenfreude at its worst.

Jon and Kate Gosselin have finally filed for divorce papers, but shouldn't the two of them go through a few steps before getting there? I'm no doctor, but even I could see that getting upset at one moment and then having silence for several months is not a good basis for divorce.

Yes, there are a lot of outlying factors that TLC has not decided to show America. The portrayal of the couple in the whole fifth season shows that the two didn't communicate anymore, unless it's for the children. Shouldn't one fix the communication barrier before cutting the cord completely?

A few days ago, we mentioned that TLC was heavily promoting tonight's episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8, pushing the fact that the couple will make a "special announcement" about their crumbling relationship. My colleague Mike Pascua speculated on what was going to happen, but the good folks at Radar Online (who I wrote for occasionally in their pre-Enquirer-owned days) have already latched on to what the announcement is likely going to be.

And, to be honest, it's about the least surprising news you could think of. More after the jump.

I've wasted many hours of my life watching Jon & Kate plus Eight. We're given yet another promo about a big announcement on the show. Since it's not until Monday, we get the weekend to make speculations.

With a reality show like Jon and Kate plus Eight, one doesn't expect millions of plot twists like Lost so I doubt that we're going to flash forward five years or wake up and realize that it was all a dream. Here is a list of sane and insane announcement ideas that Jon and Kate should announce.

Everyone knows that there is drama between Jon and Kate and the episode following the well-gawked-at season premiere totally blankets over the whole situation. Instead of having Jon and Kate face their demons, the show decided to pretend like nothing happened. The situation between Jon and Kate reminds me of the strain between Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. TLC decided to go the way of the ailing sitcom and implant celebrity guests. No more paparazzi shots and stress about the relationship; instead we'll get visits from outside forces. Yay for whitewashing.

You just knew that the perfect storm of tabloid stories, very effective ads and promos, and a holiday where nothing else was on was going to make for boffo ratings for the Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere. But the numbers are staggering by almost any standard: 9.8 million people viewed the train wreck on Monday night, surpassing the numbers for any network -- broadcast or cable -- that night and doubling TLC's previous high water mark. What was that mark? The season four finale of Jon & Kate, of course.

I can't cast any aspersions on the size of the audience, because I gladly flipped on TLC to see the 73 minutes of extreme discomfort. And, boy, did I hate myself for doing it.

One of the best things about reality shows for me is watching people succeed or crash in a fiery abyss. While watching Grey's Anatomy, I caught the commercial for all the summer shows and was excited to see the return of I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Last year was heavily underrated. All the contestants were likable, everyone learned about Japanese culture, and the biggest thing everyone came off learning something.

While I wait for summer and hope for a new season, this week started off MTV's The Phone. I was nervous about Justin Timberlake being the executive producer, but the show surprised me. Any fan of The Mole, The Amazing Race, Cha$e, or Treasure Hunters should probably consider. Now on to the weekly awards.