I attended the TCA Cable Press Tour at the Beverly Hilton yesterday where I learned about the following shows:

Whale Wars on Animal Planet
Secrets of the Dinosaur Mummy on Discovery
Ashley Paige: Bikini or Bust on TLC
Ricky Gervais Comedy Special on HBO
Little Britain, USA on HBO
Generation Kill on HBO

And there's more. Believe me, there's more.

Okay, you've got whale pirates, mummies, bikinis, Ricky Gervais, vampires, and Marines. Unfortunately, none of those shows combine all six of those things / people. After the jump, find out about these new shows and the people who make them...

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"Strangers with Condi" (heh, they even used the Strangers with Candy image... Nice): Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice faced a barrage of angry Senators on Thursday. I had a nice laugh at the inclusion of Principal Vernon from The Breakfast Club and Senator William Wonka (that scene from Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory always cracks me up, for some reason). California's Barbara Boxer seemed to imply that a huge reason why Rice fails to see the trouble we're in is because she doesn't have any children. Jon decided to take one for the team and seduce Rice... Yes. All for the good of our nation. The mood lighting! The music! The huge book of Russian history! So hot. Never has the word "redeploy" sounded so sexy. Rawr.