kevinfederline

If you watched Chaotic, or saw that video of "K-Fed" rapping, the thought might have crossed your mind that here is a guy that needs a good body slam. Maybe two. Well, you're in luck. Federline takes the next step in his growing acting career tonight with an appearance on WWE's Monday Night RAW, where he will go head to head with John Cena. I think we all know how that will turn out.

You have to give the guy credit, he knows how to pick a show. RAW is a perennial top ten cable show, and that follows up deals to appear on C.S.I. and Entourage. Also reported to be in attendance for the RAW show in Los Angeles are Steve-O and Chris Pontius from Jackass, Three Six Mafia, ZZ Top, Nick and Aaron Carter, and Antonio Sabato Jr. RAW airs on USA tonight 9-11.

I'm trying to figure out HBO's angle on a story I saw last night on MSNBC. Apparently, Kevin Federline has been cast for at least one episode of the next season of Entourage. He'll play a deadbeat husband of a celebrity. No acting required. Kevin says he's up for it, even if it means poking fun at himself (I'm pretty damn sure that's what it means, Kev).

If you can't wait until next year, you can see Kevin take his first stab at acting on CSI, where he'll play a punk who harasses investigators.

Oh my. CSI has cast Kevin Federline in an upcoming episode. People has a great quote from K-Fed about his reaction when CSI called and asked him if he wanted to be on the show: "I pissed in my pants!" I totally believe it, dude. K-Fed also says that CSI is "the only show that I really, really watch." Not exactly a ringing endorsement, is it? He'll play an arrogant teen who harasses investigators Nick and Warrick.

This is K-Fed's first acting/speaking role ever. I'm sure this makes other real, working actors feel great. This guy is a national joke for being a leech and he gets a speaking role??

Also in guest starring roles this season are John Mayer and Danny Bonaduce.

Pop diva Britney Spears wants to assure her adoring fans that everything is just peachy with her marriage to pop diva Kevin Federline, and prove to the world in general that her mothering skills are more than adequate. So, rather than having a press conference on the White House lawn, she is turning to Matt Lauer and NBC's Dateline to set the record straight.

Lauer will sit down with Spears for an interview that will run on Dateline this Thursday. During the conversation he will address tabloid rumors about her crumbling marriage to Federline (she loves him for his simplicity) and her alleged new man (her security guard, she confirms) and the tabloids themselves (she wants to start her own magazine to tell everyone the real story). She will also speak about her son Sean and answer recent questions about the way she handles the baby boy. 

Before airing on Dateline, snippets of the interview will air on the NBC-owned entertainment news program Access Hollywood tonight and on the Today show Thursday morning. By Thursday evening we will all be able to get a good night's sleep, full of relief that all of the rumors were fake and all is well in the Spears-Federline household.

Okay. I promised myself no more Kevin Federline posts. He's cheesy, greasy, and any other negative word that rhymes with "sleazy"... not to mention over-publicized. However, I just had to make an exception when I stumbled across these pictures (via Oh No They Didn't!). Us Weekly posted previews of a photoshoot K-Fed did for the upcoming June 5 issue of Item magazine. Amazingly enough, they managed to get him to swap his ratty cornrows and his mustard-stained wifebeater for a tie and some French cuffs. It's really a remarkable change. Maybe if he keeps this up, he'll be able to pull himself and Britney out of "celebrity white trash" status.

Poor Kevin Federline can't catch a break. His new rap single, PopoZao, is being trashed by music critics. Entertainment Weekly said it was worse than expected and Billboard calls it "a monument to mediocrity." The song has Brazilian stylings and, although it's three minutes long, K-Fed only raps for one minute, in which he explains what 'PopoZao' means. He raps, "In Portuguese, it means bring your ass." Niiiice. The rest of the song is just him whooping and grunting. You can see (and hear) K-Fed rockin' out to his new single here.

Maybe all that bad karma that is catching up with K-Fed. You know... leaving your girlfriend when she's seven months pregnant with your second child, and mooching off your rich wife. His crap single could be payment for all that.