Oh, I wish I had this on tape.

Andy Dick was the guest on Martha Stewart's show today, and it was...surreal. When she announced that he was on the show, the first thing I thought of was, who booked him? She's actually going to have a conversation with Andy Dick? They're actually going to let him handle sharp knives and glue guns? This was going to be some interesting daytime television.

I'm convinced that Martha Stewart and Ryan Seacrest are secretly working together in a bid to take over the world. I think they hatched their plan when Seacrest went undercover to visit her at Camp Cupcake during her five months of incarceration last year. Martha's next step toward world domination is at Macy's department stores, where she will launch a new line of housewares. It won't compete with her Kmart line of housewares because the Macy's items will be higher end than her bargain basement stuff. The new line is just the latest in Martha's plan to make us all like her. And by 'like her' I mean 'similar to', not 'have affection for'. Earlier this year, she announced a deal with a homebuilder to create a line of houses. And now those homeowners will have decorations to match their houses.