I'm not talking about a TV movie a la '24: Redemption,' I'm talking about an adventure that Jack Bauer will have on the big screen. TV Guide is reporting that a screenwriter has been hired to write the '24' movie. Billy Ray, who wrote the movies 'Shattered Glass,' 'State of Play,' the remake of 'Westworld' as well as many episodes of the mid-90s sci-fi series 'Earth 2,' is going to do the screenplay for the movie.

Of course, since this is a big screen movie of a small screen show, they have to do something a little "larger," so Jack won't be saving Los Angeles or New York or even Ottumwa, Iowa. This movie will be set in London, which means Jack will have to get used to saving the world in 24 hours several hours ahead of when he did it here in the United States. Also, any car chases or car explosions will now take place on the other side of the road.

[Watch '24' and other shows at SlashControl.]

Having a British company take over Sterling Cooper is a rather brilliant move. It gives the show a new focus, a new tension in the office (and out of the office too). In this clip from next week's Mad Men episode "Love Among The Ruins," Don and Betty go out to dinner with Lane and his wife.

Such a well-written two minutes. It's like you know everything about these four from this one scene.

The words "rest in peace" have never held less meaning than in the aftermath of Michael Jackson's death. Now, the endless profiteering and headline grabbing over the singer's death is spreading overseas.

Tuesday's occasionally genuine and moving memorial for Michael Jackson in Los Angeles is only the beginning. Reports say Jackson's minions aren't done milking the man's death just yet.

Plans are in the offing for a huge memorial concert at London's 02 Arena on what would have been Jackson's 51st birthday on Aug. 29. Jackson was supposed to kick off his comeback concert series at the 02 next week.

Wow, is this right? Jesse L. Martin was on Law and Order for nine seasons? How could that be? Where has the last decade gone? I feel really old.

Martin was indeed on the hit NBC drama for that long. He left last season, in a storyline involving a gambling addiction, a murder, and a court trial. But now he might actually be coming back to the same network. Martin is in negotiations to play the James Purefoy's sidekick on the midseason replacement series The Philanthropist, about a rich man who helps people with his dough. The character's name is Philip Maidstone.

Martin must really like NBC. He's also going to be in a new Muppets movie this Christmas season on the network.

It will be interesting to see how big this sidekick role will be, because you would think at this point that Martin would be getting or going for the lead roles, not the buddy ones.

Here's something I didn't know: it's cheaper to film in England and Africa than it is to film in Hollywood.

NBC has announced that their new midseason drama The Philanthropist (a real pain to spell, by the way) won't be filmed in the U.S. at all. Instead, the production will save money by setting the show and filming the show in London, with some filming also being done in Africa and the Czech Republic. Executive producer and writer David Eick, however, will stay in Los Angeles. The first episode will be directed by Peter Horton.

(S01E08) Like so many of the episodes this season, this one felt too short. The show is good but when it feels too short, it often feels underdeveloped too. Despite the lack of development in places, Belle did get some closure. And I think it's pretty obvious that closure in a season finale is important. I, for one, was glad to see her satisfied with her situation at the end.

Tonight Belle tried her hand at being a courtesan. Wow, semantics makes all the difference, huh? There's your street-walking hookers, your pimped out prostitutes, high class escorts, and your professional courtesans. As she explained how courtesans were different than even highly paid call girls like herself, I thought of one of her very first asides on Secret Diary of a Call Girl. In the season premiere Belle told us that it didn't matter which way you slice it or what you call it, she gets paid to have sex.

(S0E03) "If you ask them first, 90% of them will say 'No.' But hey, once it's up there..." -- Belle

Ahh, the pitfalls of being a London call girl. I'll have to remember Belle's trick for when I'm stuck with a marathon runner and I'm on someone else's clock. That someone else is Ashok. We met Belle's very first client tonight. I already hope we see more of him.

My review of Secret Diary of a Call Girl is after the jump.

(S01E02) "Sometimes I get paid to do the things I've always wanted to do." -- Belle

Like have sex with old Scottish men who have a penchant for horses? No, wait, that was last week. This week Belle went to an exclusive adult party (think Eyes Wide Shut, but not as creepy) and meet her favorite author. She also got to wear a black wig (think Chicago) and some feathers around her neck (think Big Bird).

Check out my review of Secret Diary of a Call Girl after the jump. I promise, no more references.

(S01E01) Right after Weeds, we got our first look at Showtime's new original comedy series Secret Diary of a Call Girl. The half-hour show stars Billie Piper as Belle du Jour, a high-class London call girl. Tonight we got to meet Belle, who is Hannah the legal secretary by day, her agent Stephanie, her best friend Ben and a few of her clients.

We also got to hear Belle's rules: keep her two lives completely separate and stay in control. (There were others but those were the important ones.)

Then we got to see Belle break said rules.

Showtime has a new original comedy series premiering next week called Secret Diary of a Call Girl. I watched five of the eight half-hour episodes slated for season one (Showtime has ordered eight more for next year). In fact, I watched four episodes in one sitting. That should give you an idea of how much I enjoyed the show. It's easy to watch, well-acted, and the subject matter is well...interesting to say the least.

Take an early look at Secret Diary of a Call Girl after the jump.

Showbiz has gone green, and that's not just ecologically! Green is flashing all over Hollywood. CBS has given the greenlight to three more pilots, including a doctor drama, a psychic romance, and a British-based tale of international love.

NY-LON (no, not nylon the fabric!), refers to the New York-London connection via air. The story, which writers Patti Carr and Lara Runnels (who both worked on 'Til Death) are translating from the U.K. version, is about a British businessman who meets a New York City record store clerk while she's in London, and then their subsequent attempts to maintain a transatlantic romance. The series ran seven episodes in England, which is not atypical. Of course, for American TV, many more episodes than that will be necessary to constitute a hit.

I have to admit that I've only seen a few minutes of Are You Being Served?, even though it seems to be on my local PBS station every other day. I don't know, I just never get into some British comedies. Sure, Monty Python and Fawlty Towers are shows I love, but some of the sitcoms I've never really given a chance beyond an episode or two.

But even I know who John Inman was. His face was unmistakable. Inman was one of the stars of the classic British comedy that was set in a department store. He played Mr. Humphries, whose catchphrase was "I'm free." Not sure of the context of that catchphrase, but Inman was voted both the "Funniest Man on Television" and BBC TV's "Personality of the Year" in 1976.

Inman died in London earlier today from complications of Hepatitis A.

[thanks to Jon for the tip]

Actor and comedian Bill Bellamy will host the fifth season of Last Comic Standing when it returns to NBC this summer, but that's not the only change for the comedy showcase / reality series. In addition to holding auditions in Minneapolis, Los Angeles, New York City, San Antonio and Tempe, Arizona, the show will also be seeking out talent in Sydney, London and Montreal. Season two finalists Ant and Kathleen Madigan will serve as judges along with season three winner Alonzo Bodden. Auditions kick off this month in Los Angeles on February 26.

I stopped watching the series after the first couple seasons, and even then I didn't watch it religiously. Nevertheless, I'm always surprised how many comedians I've grown fond of have actually appeared on the show. None of them have actually won, but maybe that means I should watch and root for the underdog. In other words, if you end up on the show and I like you, you're probably not going to win.

HBO has several original movies coming out in 2007, and the first of them will be Longford in February, which stars the versatile Jim Broadbent and Lindsay Duncan as Lord and Lady Longford -- both of whom campaigned in the UK for the release of Myra Hindley, a notorious child murderer. It's based on a chilling true story about Hindley who assisted Ian Brady in brutally murdering five young boys and girls in the 1960s. Longford and his wife both believe that she had been reformed, and petitioned for her release.

The Hitler-obsessed Ian Brady is portrayed by Andy Serkis (who unfortunately wasn't here for the panel) and he looks eerily perfect in this role. This story hasn't received widespread attention in the United States, but what they've shown here looks really intriguing. Jim Broadbent looks great as Lord Longford, and Samantha Morton, who plays Hindley, deserves to win an award for her portrayal. It's creepy, but extremely well done, like most of the offerings from HBO Films.

The title of this post is also a pithy description of my upcoming autobiography -- thank you, you've been a lovely audience!

House band: Ba da bop ba dop bop!

Anyway, the clip after the jump is a scene from My Bare Lady, Fox Reality Channel's series about a bunch of female porn stars trying out for a role in Romeo and Juliet on the London stage. The clip features the women faking orgasms as part of their audition, I assume for the famous "fake orgasm" scene in Romeo and Juliet: "Thou art causing me to climax!"

As I said before, I find it a little condescending that this series implies porn actors aren't real actors. I say they are real actors, just different kinds of actors. It's not so easy to be in the moment and maintain that element of fantasy when a roomful of people are watching you do it. I should know, it's why I'm no longer allowed in the library.

The video is probably NSFW, so click ahead with caution.

[via Digg]