Wear Chanel. Go to Harbor. Drive a Land Cruiser. Make an ass of yourself at a charity function. That's what they do in The O.C. and soon you can do it too, in a video game. Gameloft, the makers of Paris Hilton's Diamond Quest, is currently laboring over a game based on the FOX teen soap. It's a Sims-style game where you can wander around real O.C. locations and work on your tan or your muscles. Looks are apparently very important in the storyline of the game. You can choose to be any of the lead characters, Ryan, Marissa, Summer or Seth, or you can create your own character to shake things up in their McMansions.

What I want to know is: Can you punch somebody or get high? It just wouldn't be The O.C. without a fight or someone overdosing on drugs.

(S03E21) So much happened on last night's episode, I just don't know where to start. I'll just jump to the part that shocked me most -- the attempted rape of that poor girl at Volchok's party. Marissa sees one of Volchok's slimy friends slip a questionable liquid into the beer of an already wasted girl. Him and some of his buddies then take the passed-out girl outside to a van to tag team her. For a few minutes, I actually didn't think that Marissa was going to do anything other than remain her passive aggressive self. Luckily(!), Marissa follows them outside and claims that she needed to get into the van because she left her sweatshirt in there (passive aggressive!). If I saw some guys doing that to a girl at a party, it'd be hard to tell me apart from the Incredible Hulk because I'd rip the doors off that van. In fact, it wouldn't even get that far because I would have ninja-kicked that beer out of the dude's hand before he could even think about giving it to her. Marissa didn't do any of those things, but she did (thankfully) stop the rape, so I won't criticize.

Ah, the old "to invite the ex or not invite the ex?" quandary. It's a doozy. Ryan is turning 18 and he's got a big decision on his shoulders -- should he invite Marissa to his lame-ass birthday party or not? And not to read too much into the emotional complexity of The O.C., but I liked how they had Ryan and Marissa trying to figure out how to get over each other, while Julie and Dr. Roberts were trying to figure out how to get on with each other. It doesn't matter how old you get, relationships are still a sonuvabitch.

The O.C. is back after taking an Olympic hiatus and things are as crazy as ever in Newport Beach. Ryan embarks on a road trip with Johnny's new-to-town cousin, Sadie. He and Sadie are attempting to track down Johnny's deadbeat dad for unpaid child support. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this Sadie girl. Chili was a bizarro Seth, and it seems as if Sadie is a bizarro Theresa. She looks like Theresa and she acts like Theresa. She has that whole nice girl from the wrong side of town vibe. I'm just not buying it. How is she that overly polite, but still ready to kick some deadbeat dad ass at the drop of a hat?

If it wasn't for the last five minutes, this episode would have been a dud. I wouldn't even say the last five minutes, I'd say the last 30 seconds. So let's not waste any time, let's get right to it. (I'll save the big news for after the break.)

Every once in a while The O.C. likes to have episodes that are sort of a downer. I think of them as bummer episodes. Nothing goes right, and all the characters are really bummed out about their lives. There is usually a sad music/blank face montage at the end of the show to make us feel sad and bummed out about our own lives too. This was one of those episodes. It's Kaitlin's 15th birthday, but nobody cares. Nobody feels much like celebrating, including Kaitlin, who would rather spend her time seducing Johnny. Does she like Johnny or is she just trying to make Marissa jealous?