mary poppins

When you think of Dick Van Dyke, you might think of the pratfalls on his show, his comedy voice, or his dramatic chops. But many people still remember the graceful chimney sweep with the strange accent from 'Mary Poppins.'

But on 'The Late Late Show' (Weeknights, 12:37AM ET on CBS) he told Craig Fergsuon that he didn't get that job based on those abilities.

Surely, Disney must have had some idea of Van Dyke's musical background and acumen, but according to Van Dyke, Disney "had heard me in some interview say something about the lack of family entertainment."

"You're telling me that you got a huge job in a giant Disney movie just because you endorsed family entertainment?" Ferguson asked him.

Dick Van Dyke won't be appearing as a contestant on 'Dancing With the Stars' any time soon. But don't completely rule out the possibility of seeing the 85-year old screen legend dancing on the show, as he explained on 'The Tonight Show' (Weeknights, 11:35PM ET on NBC).

He sang the song behind one of our all-time favorite words, 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,' and even worked in a little bit of dance toward the end of it. The man still has it both vocally and in his moves. In fact, when asked the secret of his longevity and health, Van Dyke responded, "Keep moving."

This prompted Jay Leno to suggest Van Dyke take on 'Dancing with the Stars.'

Britons have long mocked Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent in 'Mary Poppins.' How could the actor possibly think it qualified as cockney?

Mystery solved! "They gave me a coach who was Irish -- Pat O'Malley," said Van Dyke when he appeared on 'The Late Late Show' (weeknights, 12:37AM ET on CBS). Ah, so he sounded more like an Irish chimney sweep. Craig Ferguson was shocked: "That explains everything!"

The host then wondered if Van Dyke, a Malibu resident, ever went surfing. Oh yes, years ago, but not too successfully. In fact, on one excursion the actor coasted too far from land. Good thing some friendly porpoises helped him out. True story.

• At 8, ABC has Jennifer Hudson: I'll Be Home For Christmas, followed by a new Find My Family.
• CBS has a new How I Met Your Mother at 8, then new episodes of Accidentally on Purpose, Two and a Half Men, Big Bang Theory, and CSI: Miami.
• NBC has the two-hour series premiere of The Sing-Off at 8, followed by a new Jay Leno Show.
• ABC Family has Mary Poppins at 8.
• USA has a new Monday Night RAW at 8.
• TLC has a new Little People, Big World at 8.
• Food Network has a Christmas Good Eats at 8.
• Also at 8: Cartoon Network has Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, followed by Gotta Catch Santa Claus.
• At 9, FOX has a new Lie to Me.
• TNT has a new episode of The Closer at 9, then a new Men of a Certain Age.
• TLC has a new Cake Boss at 9.
• At 10, Bravo has a new Chef Academy.
• A&E has a new Hoarders at 10.
• History Channel has two new episodes of Pawn Stars at 10.
• Hallmark has the movie A Christmas Carol: The Musical at 10.

Check your local TV listings for more.

After the jump, the late night talk shows.

(S02E10) "Brushes with death are like snowflakes. Each one is unique and icy cold." -- Michael

Well, if you think Michael was ticked off about being burned, you should take his temperature after there's an attempt on his life. This episode, which picked up right after a bomb went off in Michael's loft doorway, had a little bit of everything that makes Burn Notice one of the best shows on TV. In short, it was great to have it back on the schedule. And yes, there was little doubt that Michael would survive the blast. It's good to see the Charger and the loft did, too.

Michael has a lot of reasons to be bent out of shape. Carla's still yanking him around and now she's involved his family by having Nate arrested. In one of the few times I can remember on the show, he really lost his cool when he screamed at her, "I want my brother out of jail. I want my life back!" Carla got the message.

Reality rules at ABC -- or so it seems. Today the network announced that five "alternative" (their word, not mine) shows have been picked up for next season: Dancing with the Stars (no surprise), Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (still no surprise), Supernanny (understandable), Wife Swap (not too unexpected) and America's Funniest Home Videos (are you kidding me???).

Yes, yes, it's true. Even in this era of YouTube, there's an audience out there that still enjoys America's Funniest Home Videos. ABC has booked it for an 18th season, making it the longest-running primetime show in the network's history. Host Tom Bergeron will be back -- natch -- and more money will be awarded to the funniest videos, which are now DVDs.