When I was in college I heard my favorite author of all time, Kurt Vonnegut, give a speech that included a quaint (and wrongheaded) defense of snail mail. He went on and on about the wonderfulness of buying a stamp and putting pen to paper -- all that stuff that makes sense when you're dealing with your thirtieth Erectile Dysfunction spam of the day, but which falls apart the second you want to send a picture of your cool new scar to all of your friends at once (or similarly important things).

Well, here I am at thirty about to do what Vonnegut did at my college. A silly and wrongheaded argument for something that I know in my heart we're all better without. I always knew I'd follow in Vonnegut's footsteps as a writer...

This is why I've always taken a network's ratings claims with a huge grain of salt: According to this AP article, Super Bowl XL was seen in 45.85 million homes, second only to the 1983 finale of M*A*S*H in the history of TV. However, the rating itself, 41.6, was only up slightly from last year's game (probably because a rating point represents more homes than it did last year or in 1983). Also the share, which measures the percentage of TVs in use, remained the same at 62.

Got all that? But wait, there's more...