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February 11, 2012
 
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Diane Sawyer: I'm "Okay" With Jason Bateman Using My Photo For Masturbation (VIDEO)

by Oliver Miller, posted Sep 10th 2010 8:25AM
Diane Sawyer: I'm 'Okay' With Jason Bateman Using My Photo For MasturbationJimmy Kimmel is not exactly a hard-hitting investigative journalist. Still, the talk show host is brash and direct, and has a way of provoking a response. If Jimmy wants an answer, he'll probably manage to get one. On the latest 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' (weeknights, 12AM ET on ABC), Mr. Kimmel happens to talk with an actual investigative journalist. 'ABC World News' anchor Diane Sawyer is his guest -- and Jimmy has a fairly delicate question that he wants to ask her.

Kimmel brings up 'The Switch' -- a romantic comedy starring Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston. Diane plays a part in the film, although she doesn't actually show up in flesh-and-blood form. There's a scene where Bateman picks up a magazine that has Ms. Sawyer on the cover. Jimmy points out that Bateman uses the photo to help "produce a, um ... 'sample.'"

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Drew Gets a Libido Lesson on 'Parenthood' (VIDEO)

by Jane Boursaw, posted Mar 24th 2010 1:05AM
Parenthood, Drew gets a libido lesson from ZeekThey never actually said the word on 'Seinfeld,' but it was all out in the open on 'Parenthood' (Tue., 10PM ET on NBC). Well, sort of.

"Under no circumstances are you to talk to Drew about the ...," said Sarah, with her dad Zeek ending the sentence, " ... masturbation."

It's just awkward all the way around, especially when Zeek actually did talk to Drew about it, while Drew was in the shower. "When it comes to testosterone, the Braverman men are blessed with an abundance of riches," yelled Zeek through the shower curtain.

Thanks, grandpa, good to know. Now please leave.

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Moral Orel: God's Chef

by Adam Finley, posted Jul 29th 2006 9:58AM

moral orel(S01E02) This is an early review courtesy of Adult Swim Fix. The televised version will air Sunday late night on Adult Swim.

This initial season of Moral Orel has been shown entirely out of order due to issues with standards and practices, though it hasn't really affected the series all that much since every episode works as a stand-alone anyway. In this particular episode, Orel figures out a way that he can masturbate and not spur God's wrath, and I can only imagine what they had to cut out to make this acceptable for television.

The episode begins at Orel's school, probably the only public school where "Jesus" could be an answer on a science test. Orel decides to use the bathroom not to go "number one" or "number two," but to go "number three." He only learned about "number three" recently, and like most adolescent boys, he can't get enough of it. The janitor catches him in the act and sends him to the principal, who explains to Orel that masturbation is actually worse than murder, and spouts off this fractured logic: "Oral, there are some things that are burned so deep into a person's subconscious that you forget just why they're there. You only know that they've scarred you in such a horrible and personal way that they must be right."

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Is that missing episode of Moral Orel finally going to air?

by Adam Finley, posted Jul 16th 2006 11:06AM
moral orelIt's been a long wait, and almost a month since we saw a new episode, but the final episode of Moral Orel (actually the second episode, but let's not argue semantics) is finally going to hit the airwaves on July 30 at 12:15 a.m., if this schedule is telling the truth. The episode is titled "God's Chef" and the plot revolves around a plan hatched by Orel to masturbate but still get into heaven. I'm already piecing together what that might entail in my twisted brain, but I'm sure whatever Dino and the crew have come up with is far more hilarious than anything I could have imagined.

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American Idol: The Devil Collects a Soul

by Lacy Hall, posted Mar 23rd 2006 12:22AM

ai logoWell, I am shocked. It looks like Kevin's pact with the Devil is up, and he has finally been eliminated. I assume this means that the Devil will now collect on Kevin's soul and he will have to travel to Hell, spending eternity burning in the flames of everlasting darkness. I'm confused if that's how it actually works because in every "sell your soul to the Devil" movie I've ever seen, somehow the Devil is tricked into giving the person their soul back. (Which is a little unfair to the Devil, don't you think? I mean, the guy's got a business to run and people keep breaching their contracts.) I'm sure Kevin will somehow weasel his way out of his pact as well. Most likely, the Chicken Little people already have Kevin trademarked and will threaten copyright infringement upon the Devil if he collects on his soul. Alas, the Devil gets screwed again.

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