'The Colbert Report' (weeknights, 11:30PM ET on COM) offered a graphic education on what can happen when a matador slips while fighting a bull.

"I'm about to show you a bullfighter getting gored in the throat so deep that a bull's horn comes out of his mouth," said Stephen Colbert. "If you have young children, bring them into the room," he joked.

The half-ton bull skewered Julio Aparicio through the neck after he lost his footing and stumbled. "The absolutely craziest [beep] thing about this? Apiricio survived," said the host.

Yep, after two operations to restore his throat, punctured tongue and fractured jaw, the Spanish bullfighter is in recovery.

(S01E01) "I am pretty sure a lot of us are going to crash and burn pretty horribly." - Fred, the 45-year-old virgin

Okay, let me start by saying I won't follow this show on a consistent basis unless you guys beg me to. Really there is not much of a point. There isn't a whole lot to analyze here, nothing to obsess over, nothing to make this an addictive reality competition on par with your So You Think You Can Dances and those Dancing with the Starses.

Last night's episode had plenty of great moments. The real news, however, was the official announcement that a Simpsons movie will hit screens on July 27, 2007. Of course, most of us already knew that.

The plot, at least initially, focused on Homer trying to bring a professional football franchise to Springfield. Like every Simpsons plot, however, it soon veered off into an entirely new direction after Grandpa mistakes the football commissioner for a burglar and beats him with a golf club. Depressed, he decides to try assisted suicide. In a hysterical reference to Soylent Green, Grandpa is hooked to an iPod-shaped suicide machine called a "DiePod" and watches images of cops beating hippies while listening to Glenn Miller, which is his idea of bliss. After the cops break in and shut the operation down, Grandpa decides to take life by the "horns" and become a matador (the football stadium has been turned into a bull fighting ring). Before he does that, however, there's a hilarious montage of Grandpa acting young and taunting young kids with, "you're all going to die in a pointless war!"