Just reading the description of The Stephen Colbert, a pork chop from Trio's Restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas has me salivating like Pavlov's dog:

If you love freedom, and we know you do, you'll love this porkchop: a porterhouse cut pork chop marinated in an apple marinade, grilled, and covered with a South Carolina peach & ginger barbeque sauce served with Sweet Home black-eyed peas, chipotle-white cheddar mashed potatoes and sautéed Swiss chard.

If, while tending your garden today, you suddenly trip over a rake, fall into a wormhole in the fabric of space and time and wind up in the Maritime Hotel in New York City on June 16, you should stick around because you can bid on a dinner date with Sean Yazbeck, the latest winner of The Apprentice. Tammy Trenta, also a contestant on The Apprentice, has set up the event and charity auction as a means to raise money for the the Theresa Kathryn Foundation, which supports "women and women-based initiatives around the globe." Tickets are $65 dollars, but you'll have to shell out $150 if you want to hang with the cast of The Apprentice beforehand (I don't think that includes Donald Trump, though). In a related auction, if you see me walking around the streets of Minneapolis today and give me a two quarters I'll buy you a Twinkie from the vending machine. That's just the kind of guy I am.