On the ninth day of Festivus, TV gave to me... nine on-air breakdowns.

Director Alfred Hitchcock once said, "Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it."

Yes, having a camera stuck in your face for an hour or more a day must take a toll on your sanity. Your privacy is virtually limited. Your every move is scrutinized and criticized by faceless meanies. Your therapist is one session away from owning his own fishing trawler.

It's only a matter of time before the grasp of sanity is clipped away like a loose thread on a homemade snowman sweater and you turn into a blubbering, snotty, incoherent mess for all the world to enjoy. These are the personalities who lost it and may or may not have gained whatever "it" is back.

I'm a huge Simpsons fan, and have been ever since they first appeared on the Tracey Ullman Show. Still, even a fanatic like myself can get sick of all the news and merchandising leading up to the Friday premiere of the Simpsons Movie. In my daily perusal of the Web I come across no less than seventy-five million bits of information pertaining to the new movie or the TV series itself, and most of it isn't really worth mentioning.

However, I did find this via Cartoon Brew, and thought it was pretty cool. A new set of Simpsons Qee figures from Toy2r will be launched next year, but you can see some hand-painted versions from the likes of Matt Sharp, Attaboy, Loungecat, Triclops, Sasha Huber and Matt Groening himself next month. The figures are currently on a world tour and will be on display in Los Angeles August 1 at Meltdown Comics. I probably should have clarified that you need to be in Los Angeles to see them.

Qee figures are little toy figures that come in pieces you can assemble. Apparently they're popular among collectors and folks like me who just learned what the hell they were about five seconds ago.

TMZ will be the downfall of more than one celebrity. The LA gossip hounds have posted video of Michael Richards' soon-to-be infamous Laugh Factory performance in West Hollywood.

On Friday night, Richards proved that trying to shake the Seinfeld curse can get to a guy. In the middle of his stand-up routine, Richards took on two hecklers with a racist tirade that included your standard issue racial epithets along with this charmer, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass." It was, of course, caught on tape by someone in attendance. Richards has already told the press that he's sorry and will "make amends." I'm tempted to take bets on whether he'll enter rehab, offer a tearful apology to Diane Sawyer or both.

Less you think this incident came out of nowhere, check out hip-hop theater artist Danny Hoch's monologue from Jails, Hospitals and Hip-Hop on his brush with the Seinfeld cast.