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(S05E05) In this episode, Brooke Shields stopped by to have the designers make something for her character to wear in the new season of Lipstick Jungle. Two things surprised me. A) Lipstick Jungle hasn't been canceled yet and B) Brooke Shields still looks fantastic. Maybe it's because I wasn't watching in HD, but still.

For the first time this season, the designers were broken into teams for the challenge. Last season, it seemed like the majority of the season consisted of team challenges, so I was surprised that it took five episodes before they got around to it for this group. I guess I was surprised by a lot of things in this episode.

(S05E04) Ladies and gentlemen, I think we have witnessed the beginnings of a new low in Project Runway. I don't recall ever seeing a group of designers so completely miss the mark in a challenge. Most of the outfits weren't atrocious as straight-up garments, but in the context of the challenge, all of them were terrible in one way or another.

I think my horror is fully justified, as this is the first challenge in which a freakin' skort was in the top three. A skort. The very thought of a skort makes me want to set a Limited Too alight, so imagine the severe trauma that ensued after I ever-so briefly entertained the idea of America's top athletes representing the country in front of the rest of the world... wearing freakin' skorts. I have a mess to clean up.

(S05E03) Question: What were the judges smoking in this episode? More specifically, were they smoking one of the hideous creations from this challenge?

This challenge was pretty straightforward, as the designers were dropped off at different locations in a rainy New York City and told to pull inspiration from their surroundings. NYC streets at night are rough and sleek and bright and dark, all at the same time. But looking at this episode's outfits, you'd never know. In fact, you'd probably be too scared to step foot in the Big Apple ever again, for fear of being mauled by psychedelic, leggy, cha-cha-ing monsters.

(S05E02) First of all, I thought last week lacked a fancy new intro because the episode was packed the rafters with new season goodness. However, since we got nothing again, I suppose this was just another instance of Bravo not caring enough to give the show the love it deserved.

Secondly, I have decided that I don't have a favorite this season, just some people that annoy me less than others. Everyone is so self-conscious this time around. I pray that Blayne leaves the show soon, just so this "-licious" craze he is attempting to jump-start will die a quick death. Plus, I'm tired of adjusting my display to make sense of his tan.

(S05E01) Despite Bravo's ridiculously shoddy half-attempts to advertise the new season and my sour disappointment in the last group designers, I tuned in for a fifth go at Project Runway. Fingers crossed that I don't hate the world when this is all over.

Before we jump into the episode itself, I must rant. Yes, "must". As we all know, Runway is moving from Bravo to Lifetime after this season. I don't believe this is a smart move for the show, and it looks like Bravo is pretty annoyed about it too. Instead of overloading the media with promotional material weeks and weeks in advance to get hype in the system like they usually do, they didn't release designer bios and photos until days before the premiere. Plus, they've posted a full episode guide online, revealing all the guest judges. The season is barely off the ground and Bravo is insanely bitter that Runway isn't its baby anymore.

A couple of months ago, I interviewed Lifetime president of entertainment Susanne Daniels for TV Week, asking her about Project Runway jumping from Bravo to her network.

"We know for certain that Heidi (Klum) and Tim (Gunn) are returning. We would love to see the judges back, Michael Kors and Nina Garcia...but we're working on that," she said.

She went on to say that the show will look and feel very much like it did on Bravo; it will be airing in the same time slot, the same day of the week. And she secured Kors and Garcia, so the four important Project Runway principals all will be in place.

Now comes word that in an effort to keep Project Runway as much a hit on Lifetime as it's been on Bravo, Lifetime is bringing in the veteran production team Bunim-Murray to take over as showrunners.

(S04E14) Folks, we have finally reached the end of the line and, to be perfectly honest, I think I'm okay with that. This season, I haven't felt the same sense of anticipation from week to week. "Isn't there something I'm supposed to do on Wednesdays? Oh. Right. Project Runway." This near-apathy is a far cry from the screaming that had ensued in my house when Wendy Pepper moved into the final three of Season One or when Daniel Vosovic presented in Fashion Week for Season Two. That said, I was pretty satisfied with the top three because they really were the best of the bunch, even though that bunch wasn't so great to begin with.

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(S04E13) These pre-finale episodes are always interesting because the viewers get to take a little peek into the world of designers as normal people, outside of the weird reality show setting. This season's visit to the designers was different though, for Rami and Chris still had to duke it out and figure out who would compete in New York Fashion Week. Good ol' Tim Gunn took a trip to the coasts to check in with each of the four designers and make sure their collections were chugging along.

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(S04E11) For the first time since the history of the show, I'm actually quite satisfied with the final group of designers going to Fashion Week. Now, that is not to say that I've changed my mind about how well this season's designers have been doing, because I still feel like it has been one of the worst seasons. However, this time it seems like the final group of designers all truly deserve to be there.

All right, before I get ahead of myself, let's go over just how well everyone did in this challenge. Please excuse me if I fail to fully suppress my pretentious artiness.

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(S04E10) In one of the classiest moves in Project Runway history, the designers faced the challenge of creating outfits for the WWE Raw Divas to wear in the ring. When I heard the angry grunts and sounds of lady-violence behind the door, I thought they were going to face roller derby girls or something. The Divas were cool anyway, offering the designers a chance to get really crazy and maybe a little sleazy.

The designers seemed rather horrified when they saw their new clients, which was quite amusing, but not as amusing as the reactions (or lack thereof, save for Tim Gunn's polite chuckle) to the sex kitten ripping open her robe. I couldn't stop myself from mumbling, "Your goods have no power here, sweetheart."

By the way, the Blockbuster Total Access placement was real subtle, Bravo. Maybe next time they should have Tim pop in to share an exclusive coupon code.

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(S04E09) It's strange to feel this way about a program all about imagination and creativity, but I think Project Runway may have lost its voice. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the show and I understand that programs often evolve into something different from the original season. However, this season's constant use of special clients/judges like (Sarah Jessica Parker or the high school girls) and big company sponsors (like Hershey's or Levi's) makes me feel like the show has sold out.

Previous seasons had some challenges that were incredibly bizarre but were at the same time open-ended enough to let the designers work with their own voices. They didn't have to cater to a very specific client each week, the way this season's designers do. Just take a look at the recent avant-garde challenge. Even with the high stress and drama, the contestants made some of the best work of the season.

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Let me just come right out and say it: Jeffrey Sebelia, winner of Project Runway Season Three, is making costumes for the Bratz movie. Is that really the glorious post-Runway life? The cocky persona that Sebelia took on all season certainly led me to expect him to spend his prize money and fame on jetsetting and more neck tattoos to decorate his massive, massive neck, but, as it turns out, he isn't doing as great as one might expect. Not only is he quite broke, but ... did I mention his post-Runway project is doing the Bratz film? I was quite furious with him when he was on the program, but this article has actually made me -- dare I say it -- sympathize. Maybe he should have taken the Jay McCarroll route and skipped the winning contract to do his own thing.

By the way, I had no idea Season Two's Santino Rice was the one who encouraged Sebelia to audition for the program, let alone the fact that the two are buddies. I guess that's where Sebelia learned that the "cocky bastard" act would pay off.

Related:
Project Runway's Jay McCarroll on Tim Gunn
Tim Gunn steals Bravo job from five queer guys

(S03E13) Damn it. Why must they tease us? This episode had nothing. Nothing. They should have just made tonight a two-hour special, declared the winner, and put us out of our anxious, hand-wringing misery.

But no. We have to wait until next week to find out the Season Three winner.

We didn't even get to the bottom of the Laura/Jeffrey scandal (which wasn't as exciting as I hoped)! It's a double-cliffhanger, folks, the very worst kind of cliffhanger.

(S03E10) Damn those Project Runway producers. Damn. Them. To. Hell. How dare they bring back Vincent and Angela?... In the same episode?! I almost threw up on myself, I was so furious. I thought my Runway-related anger was ready to retire, but I guess it was too soon. No. The producers just had to make my blood boil one more time and now I've learned not to trust them. I'm ready for absolutely anything now... Go on, producers. Do your worst. Bring Wendy Pepper back and stick her in the final challenge.

I take that back. Please, please, please, for the love of everything that is good and holy, do not bring Wendy Pepper back.