millions

My colleague Danny seems to think that Warner Brothers and CBS should show Charlie Sheen the door and let him leave the series, even though the network and production company are committed to two more years of 'Two and a Half Men.' And my other fellow TV Squadder Jason has kiddingly suggested seven characters who could fill Sheen's shoes. Well, to paraphrase the words of Dan Aykroyd on 'Saturday Night Live,' they are both ignorant sluts!

The question of who will replace Simon Cowell as an 'American Idol' judge began in earnest today with Page Six claiming that Howard Stern is the 'Idol' producers' top choice to take Simon Cowell's throne. Stunt casting? Attention-grabbing? Total bull? You can take your pick because this smacks of a PR turn if ever there was one.

For a moment, though, let's consider the possibility. Howard's contract with Sirius XM Radio wraps next January. That contract was in the $100 million neighborhood. Could 'American Idol' fork over a pay-out equal to that? Umm, yes. They make enough. Will they? Hard to imagine. The figure mentioned in the report was $50 million a year, which is what Simon will earn this season, but that's based on the fact that Simon has a track record with 'Idol.'